DISPATCHES FROM THE POP SCENE...MINUS THE CORN SYRUP.
Monday, February 08, 2010
The Helping Haiti "Everybody Hurts" Video
No big surprises here with the Helping Haiti "Everybody Hurts" video. It's basically footage of victims of the earthquake with black and white clips of the singers (read the full list of who sang what lines here) edited in.
The single was released in the UK yesterday and is already #1 on iTunes.
Somebody Please Put A Hit Out On Jedward And Bring Shayne Ward Back
Ah, poor Jedward. The X Factor dorks were unable to knock synth geek Owl City off the top of the UK chart with their mashup (read: murdering of) "Under Pressure" and "Ice Ice Baby."
But fuck those two. The only X Factor alum I want to hear from is Shayne Ward. And by hear from, I mean him mumbling while half-conscious, shirtless, jeans around the ankles and tied to a tree with an apple in his mouth. (Hey, it's my birthday—let me have some fun!)
We're supposedly one month away from Shayne's new single "Oxygen" being released. I'm just glad that the Heidi Range duet rumor isn't true. 'Cause I'd rip that bitch's weave off with a Rototiller like Kelly Clarkson attacking a plate of spaghetti if she tried anything fresh with Shayne.
And screw Simon Cowell for not inviting the hottest piece of tail to grace the X Factor stage to take part in the Helping Haiti"Everybody Hurts" charity single. (Which, by the way, is already #1 on UK iTunes after being added around midnight last night.) He needs to pull his face out of Susan Boyle's matronly she-taco and realize all things entertainment don't begin and end with that warbling broad. They begin and end with Shayne's ass.
My favorite Mis-Teeq story ever: a British friend moved to L.A. in the mid-'00s, and heard the girl group were doing a gig here. This was around when "Scandalous" reached the soaring heights of #35 on the Billboard Hot 100, thanks to its inclusion on the Catwoman soundtrack.
So Paul and his roommate (also a Brit) went to see Mis-Teeq perform...at a seafood restaurant up the PCH, where they lip-synced to three of their UK hits. I think everyone involved—including the girls—couldn't believe life could be so cruel. It's hard out there for a pimp.
Anyway, lead broad Sabrina Washington is finally putting out her first solo album, five years after these strippers broke up. Here's the vid for first single, "OMG":
How very Gaga. Favorite line: "I won't lower myself to smackin' her." BRIT Award-nominatedAlesha Dixon, you've been warned.
An Interview With Alex Gardner Where He Says Something About Being Versatile
Here's a nice interview with 18-year-old Xenomania protege Alex Gardner that was posted on YouTube today by UK radio station Hallam FM.
I like this kid. His first single "I'm Not Mad" (out in March) is pretty rad:
As for his upcoming album, he says, "I've got reggae tracks, rock tracks, blues tracks, drum-driven tracks, bass-driven tracks, ballads... You want it, I've got it."
If they're all as good as "I'm Not Mad," we'll take it.
The MAC Viva Glam print ad with these two broads will be appearing in mags shortly. I love how the undertone of this is basically Lady Gaga sexually assaulting Cyndi Lauper with a string of pearls, a tube of lipstick and her tits. Symbolism—uh, don't even wanna go there.
Oh, just kidding. (Sort of.) Beautiful photo by Ellen Von Unwerth. Go buy this stuff—it's for a good cause, and benefits the MAC AIDS Fund.
It'd Be Really Sad If Taylor Swift Dropped Into A Bottomless Abyss Of Horror
Ah, Taylor Swift. You won all those Grammys, but this week your soundtrack tune "Today Was A Fairytale" falls from #2 to #22 on the Billboard Hot 100. That's it—drop, bitch. Drop into a well, where that soggy broad from The Ring is waiting to take your damn guitar and bash you over the head with it for releasing the same goddamn song over and over again. And fuck Valentine's Day!!!! Expecting innocent people to plunk down cash for a movie that stars Taylor Swift andAshton Kutcher is like asking them to chug a bucket of battery acid.
That little Canadian mop top Justin Bieber also plummets, from #5 to #25, with "Baby."
And now, onward to charity! Justin Timberlake, Matt Morris and Charlie Sexton's take on "Hallelujah," from the Hope For Haiti Now telethon, jumps up from #48 to #13. Just above, JT and Timbaland's "Carry Out" is at #11.
But coming back to water-logged women, Lady Gaga and Beyonce's "Telephone" moves up one to #19, while Adam Lambert scrapes up to #35 with "Whataya Want From Me."
So, it's been a few weeks since we checked in with The Script. Because quite frankly, the Irish lads were simply taking too long to climb the chart—and they don't get the d'luvvin' unless they work for it. But, lo and behold! In the single's ninth week on the chart, "Breakeven" moves up to #53. That at least gets them a hand down the shorts. For, like, a minute.
The U.S. Top 10:
1. "TiK ToK" - Ke$ha*7 weeks* 2. "Bad Romance" - Lady Gaga 3. "Bedrock" - Young Money feat. Lloyd 4. "Imma Be" - The Black Eyed Peas 5. "Sexy Chick" - David Guetta feat. Akon 6. "How Low" - Ludacris 7. "Replay" - Iyaz 8. "Need You Now" - Lady Antebellum 9. "Hey, Soul Sister" - Train 10. "Hard" - Rihanna feat. Jeezy
Blimey! It was virtual British invasion on American Idol tonight. Not only did Victoria Beckham return as guest judge, 22-year-old Italian broad Nicci Nix flew her cans all the way from Florence to Denver to belt out Girls Aloud's "Something Kinda Ooooh!" in her audition.
But in case you were worried that she got a Sexy? No! No! No! from Simon Cowell and the gang, she made it through to Hollywood.
Anyway, about 10 minutes later Take That's "Greatest Day" was played as background music in a montage of kiddies nabbing their golden tickets.
All that was missing was for JLS to hop up onto a set of crates while wearing Speedos and start go-go dancing.
UPDATE: Who Sings What On The Helping Haiti Cover Of "Everybody Hurts"
The choon had its first spin on BBC Radio 1 this morning, and features Mariah Carey, Take That, Kylie Minogue, Robbie Williams, Miley Cyrus, Bon Jovi, Susan Boyle, Leona Lewis, James Blunt, Mika, JLS, Alexandra Burke, Joe McElderry, Cheryl Cole, Rod Stewart and a bunch of other people I'm probably forgetting.
Have a look at some of them laying down their vocals here. UPDATE: Here's who sings what on the track (which is released digitally February 7, physically in the UK the next day):
LEONA LEWIS When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone…
ROD STEWART When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on…
MARIAH CAREY Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes…
CHERYL COLE Sometimes everything is wrong.
MIKA Now it's time to sing along…
MICHAEL BUBLE When your day is night alone,
JOE McELDERRY (Hold on, hold on)…
MILEY CYRUS If you feel like letting go…
JAMES BLUNT If you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on…
GARY BARLOW(TAKE THAT) 'Cause everybody hurts.
MARK OWEN (TAKE THAT) Take comfort in your friends
GARY BARLOW (TAKE THAT) Everybody hurts.
JON BON JOVI Don't throw your hand. Oh, no…
JAMES MORRISON Don't throw your hand
JAMES MORRISON & ALEXANDRA BURKE If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone…
SUSAN BOYLE If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long…
ASTON MERRYGOLD(JLS) When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on
SHANE FILAN (WESTLIFE) Well, everybody hurts sometimes
What Pop Stars Look Like When Recording The "Everybody Hurts" Haiti Charity Single
The Helping Haiti cover version of R.E.M.'s "Everybody Hurts," organized by Simon Cowell and The Sun, will be released Monday, February 8. Below are some pics of some of the folks who've lent their pipes to the charity single:
No big surprises here with the Helping Haiti "Everybody Hurts" video. It's basically footage of victims of the earthquake with black and white clips of the singers (read the full list of who sang what lines here) edited in.
