dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

"Woah! These Metal Wires Make Noise!"


Speaking of middle-aged ladies of dance, Backstreet's back, dolls, just when the world needs them! That's right, the Boys have finished their new album, and -- shocker -- promise it's an entirely new, more mature direction for them. That's really good, though, because we've spent the past 5 years praying for this:

Jesus, we know you're up there. We know we've done some really bad things lately, and the rash is just your way of letting us know that you're watching, but -- PLEASE, Jesus -- just answer this one prayer! Please let Backtreet go in a new, more mature direction with the next album! Oh, please, please, please!!!

Yeah, screw that! It's over, Gs! So what if Brian's got a very realistic-looking toupee and a sassy sock wristlet now? And big deal if they did that big tsunami benefit gig in Siberia or wherever. Does Nick think air-jamming "Freebird" on that stage prop is gonna ease those people's sufffering?

Three words... okay, two words and a Roman numeral: Boyz II Men. Wait, they worked with Max Martin on the new album? OMG, we're totally pre-ordering from Amazon, pronto!

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