dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

American Music Awards, aka The Mariah Show

The American Music Awards were tonight, and can we just tell you how happy we are that Mariah Carey is completely crazy?

Not only that, but how fun is she now that she wears outfits that are soooo inapporopriate for a broad her size?

That's right, bitches... you wish you had these curves!

Do the voices in Mimi's head bother you?

My ass is #1 y'all!

Gwen Stefani: "God, Pharrell, our song really sucks."
Pharrell: "Shut up and gimme some loooove, 'ho."

Annie Lennox: "Hey, Dave, I don't think we're American. What are we doing here?"
Dave Stewart: "Shut up and look like a man, bitch!"

I'll beat the shit out of all these skank-ass skinny bitches!!!

Missy Elliot: "Daaaamn! That Annie Lennox lookin' fiiiiine, yo!"

Ashanti: "Remember when we had careers, too, Nick?"
Nick Lachey: "......."

Lindsay Lohan, channelling Stevie Nicks.

I guess it's kinda obvious I'm singing over a backing track, huh?

Kelly Rowland: "All that Destiny's Child cash, and I still ain't bought a new set o' titties, y'all!"

Hmmmm... it sure sounds like La Duff is lip-synching...

...but who cares when she's got Clark Kent for a boyfriend?

Cyndi Lauper: "You want some o' this, mother-f***ers?"

Cyndi Lauper: "Don't try to out-sing me, bitch!"
Sarah McLachlan: "F*** you, slut! I'll smack your ass across the stage!"
Cyndi Lauper: "It's on, bitch! See your ass backstage!"

Watch me punch this Canadian whore's ass!

And finally, the Pulitzer goes to....

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  • At 1:41 AM, Anonymous so vision of love said…

    All Mimi, all the time, bitches!

  • At 1:20 PM, Blogger J'ason D'luv said…

    The clock is tickin' for Mimi with me. That broad better pull another good song out of her crazy, curvey ass.

  • At 7:09 PM, Blogger mediawhore said…

    Two words. Duff. Stomp.
    Three words. In. Kinky. Boots.


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