dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Justin Timberlake Likes It On Top

On the morning of his MTV Video Music Awards appearance, Justin Timberlake has hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 Singles with "SexyBack."

After his single became available for paid digital download last Tuesday, it began to look like it would swat Fergie's rear from the top like a fly, as it was the biggest download all week long. Surprisingly, this is only the second time JT has sat at the top of the Hot 100 chart... the first being way back in summer 2000 when *NSync's "It's Gonna Be Me" hit #1. Now, is it me, or is "SexyBack" one of those songs you just wanna hate, but it's so obnoxious you kinda like it after four listens?

Elsewhere in the Top 10, the 10-Legged Ho Machine, aka Danity Kane (or as someone here commented, "Caterpussy") jumps up to #8 with "Show Stopper." Their album debuted at #1 this week. And the new Evanescence song, "Call Me When You're Sober," moves 15 places to #10. That's one dark jam.

Of course, we gotta check in with Snow Patrol. They're like a little pet that ambles along behind you on a long walk. This week "Chasing Cars" finally enters the Top 20 and sits at #18.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "SexyBack" - Justin Timberlake *1 week*
2. "London Bridge" - Fergie
3. "(When You Gonna) Give It Up To Me" - Sean Paul feat. Keyshia Cole
4. "Crazy" - Gnarls Barkley
5. "Buttons" - Pussycat Dolls feat. Snoop Dogg
6. "Promiscuous" - Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland
7. "Me & U" - Cassie
8. "Show Stopper" - Danity Kane
9. "Sexy Love" - Ne-Yo
10. "Call Me When You're Sober" - Evanescence *sales gainer*

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Music Junkie Digest

Yay! It's the return of "Music Junkie Digest" after five long months. Today just seemed like a good day to bang out some random thoughts.

Frst up, since there hasn't been nearly enough mention of Paris Hilton's CD here, it seems as if reports of Paris dying a miserable chart death have been over-inflated. In fact, today Billboard reported that it's set to debut at #6 on the album chart tomorrow, on sales of 77,000 copies (not 75,000, as written here yesterday in the post below). As well, Kelis will also debut respectably on tomorrow's chart at #10 with Kelis Was Here. See that? Don't believe everything you read, y'all!

Now, moving on to a singer not quite as vocally talented -- oh, just kidding... If you're like me, then you've been wondering when the heck Kelly Clarkson's gonna put some new music out. Apparently, when she's not been touring or getting crocked at L.A.'s Metal Skool, she's been working on her next album, due around February '07 (according to Wikipedia, at least).

Kelly's up for a Viewer's Choice Award at tomorrow's MTV Video Music Awards, which is almost guaranteed to be the usual suckfest that it is each year. We'll give the show the benefit of the doubt, though, since The Killers are performing, and since sweet tween JoJo showed up last night at one of the VMA pre-parties. Click here to read more on the stellar soirees.

And finally, it's really been a B*Witched kind of week, hasn't it? So why not watch the UK video for their second single from 1998, "Rollercoaster"...

Now, following the surprise Top 10 success in the States of their first single, "C'est La Vie," a second version of the "Rollercoaster" video was shot for the American market. It's set at Venice Beach in L.A., and a bit more "urban" -- although thankfully they left in the cheesy simulated rollercoaster dance moves from the UK version during the chorus.

In the end, Epic ought to have saved their money, as sadly "Rollercoaster" only peaked at #67 on the Hot 100 Singles chart. Still, great tune!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Paris Hilton And Kelis In New Album Shock Scandal Drama Tragedy Tizzy

We're not ones to sensationalize. We leave that up to the New York Post, who reported today that sales of the Paris Hilton album are so abysmal that she might as well hang up her musical aspirations next to her thong on the ceiling fan.The CD sold 75,000 copies Stateside since its release last Tuesday. To put it in perspective, Christina Aguilera sold 320,000 copies of Back To Basics the week before, and landed at #1 on the Billboard Top 200 Albums chart. But, we firmly believe that Paris is simply a set of jams way ahead of its time. You'll all see!!!

So that brings us to Kelis, whose album Kelis Was Here also came out last week. That title may just well be an appropriate epitath for this album, as it's been selling even worse than Paris Hilton's (at least on iTunes and Amazon). Meanwhile, she's now speaking out against her label, regarding the track "F*ck Them Bitches," which Jive apparently tacked on to the end of the disc. "My label is constantly trying to take control of me," she told the New York Daily News. "I’m not a new artist. I’ve been working hard to create my persona and have longevity and they went against my wishes."

Wait. So, like, what's that got to do with the price of a 40 oz. at 7-11? Didn't Kelis record the track? "I just did [the song] to get it out of my system” she told the paper. "I did not want it on the album. It’s not a statement I want to make right now." Oh, okay. That makes sense. Riiiight.

And finally, speaking of Paris, for totally funny video where she gets let into hip L.A. club Hyde, while Z-grade Tara Reid gets denied, click here.

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It's So Much Easier When Jessica Simpson And Paris Hilton Aren't Doing Decent Pop

So is this trash any good?

Up till now, I've managed to steer clear of Jessica Simpson's latest album like a lesbian confronted with the September Fall Fashion issue of Vogue.

But now there are clips on iTunes and it sounds like musical heroin! Must...resist...


Sunday, August 27, 2006

No Sales Boost For Drink-Addled Keane

Golly, the UK Top 10 singles used to be something to look forward to -- an ever-changing turnstile of pop delight. But these days, it's yawn city. Beyoncé slams her booty into the top position this week, a feat she was unable to do with "Déjà Vu" here in the States. And Snow Patrol climb to a new high with their Little Single That Could, "Chasing Cars." But surprisingly, a rehab scandal did nothing to help Keane's under-appreciated "Crystal Ball," which charts lowly at #20.

Next weekend's top single in both the UK and the U.S. is surely to be Justin Timberlake's "SexyBack" -- he debuts in England at #13 based on downloads alone. This week the tune was added to the U.S. iTunes store, as well, where it's sitting at #1. Going in a few notches down at #17 is "In The Future When All's Well," the third single off whatever that last CD was Morrissey put out. Finally, the amazingly rad-tastic "Never Be Lonely" by The Feeling enters at #24. The commercial single is out in Britain tomorrow.

The UK Top 10:

1. "Déjà Vu" - Beyoncé feat. Jay-Z *1 week*
2. "Hips Don't Lie" - Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean
3. "Ridin'" - Chamillionaire feat. Krayzie Bone
4. "Everytime We Touch" - Cascada
5. "Love Don't Let Me Go (Walking Away)" - Dave Guetta Vs. The Egg
6. "Me & U" - Cassie
7. "Chasing Cars" - Snow Patrol
8. "Leave Before The Lights Come On" - Arctic Monkeys
9. "Voodoo Child" - Rogue Traders
10. "You Give Me Something" - James Morrison

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Saturday, August 26, 2006

Emmys For High School Musical, Solo Projects For Its Six Stars

It's no secret that Chart Rigger got swept away by the High School Musical phenomenon this year, and so we're super-jazzed that it won in the Outstanding Children's Program and Outstanding Choreography categories at last weekend's Creative Arts Emmy Awards. It's also up for Outstanding Directing for a TV movie during tomorrow's Emmy Awards ceremony.

Meanwhile, in June, HSM's 18-year-old heartthrob Zac Efron was cast as "Link Larkin" in the movie adaptation of the Hairspray Broadway musical. And unlike in HSM, he'll actually perform all his vocals in Hairspray.

As we mentioned the other day, Efron's co-star Vanessa Anne Hudgens will release her solo album, V, on September 26. The video for her single "Baby Come Back To Me" premiered last night on the Disney Channel after the Cheetah Girls 2 movie, and God did that suck.

Ashley Tisdale, the scene-stealing camp vixen of the movie (pictured here brushing back her weave to reveal the sparkle 'neath it), recently signed a solo deal with Warner Brothers Records. According to MTV News, her album is due in January 2007, with a single out this October.

Corbin Bleu's not a jerk, he just plays one in the movie. And, yes, MTV reports that he's also got a solo deal and a record coming out in March.

Lucas Grabeel, who plays the queeny "Ryan" in HSM, will star in the Disney Channel movie Halloweentown: Witch U with Sara Paxton (JoJo's co-star in Aquamarine, y'all!), airing in October.

Finally, Monique Coleman, the oldest one of the HSM cast (she's 26), will be on the new season of Dancing With The Stars this fall.

On top of all this, the cast reconvenes to begin shooting the High School Musical sequel in January.


Friday, August 25, 2006

Kelis Was Here Is Our Fave Album Of The Year So Far...For Reals!

No lie, kids. The new Kelis album is SUPER RAD! The bitch brought it! There really ain't a bad song on this 18-track, multi-genre'd masterpiece (and there's even a Max Martin/Dr. Luke track ("I Don't Think So")!

It goes from pop to rock to Burt Bacharach-esque grooviness to electro-sass all within an hour. Now, that said, it'll most likely flop and we'll never hear from the poor gal again. Sorry, Kelis!


Thursday, August 24, 2006

10-Legged Ho Machine Danity Kane Struts Into The Top 20

Yes, yes, while Fergie remains at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 Singles chart this week, Making The Band 3 reality-vixens Danity Kane land the "Hot Shot Debut," whoring in at #17. Apparently American downloaders like their Pussycat Dolls and their Pussycat clones, too. But the P. Diddy minx-machine isn't the only high debut -- goth rockers Evanescence are back, in at #25 with their new single "Call Me When You're Sober." Hiccup!

Snow Patrol continue their slow crawl up the chart, breaking into the Top 30 after 14 weeks to hit #26. Meanwhile, The Killers stay put at #29 with "When You Were Young." Justin Timberlake moves up a few spots to #31, but look for a huge jump next week, as "SexyBack" has been the top download on iTunes since it became available on Tuesday. And finally, look at what we have here -- last week's controversial banterview subject JoJo squeaks in at #90 with her late summer jam, "Too Little, Too Late." We're for reals hopin' this one becomes huge once it's available to download!

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "London Bridge" - Fergie *3 weeks*
2. "Crazy" - Gnarls Barkley
3. "Promiscuous" - Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland
4. "(When You Gonna) Give It Up To Me" - Sean Paul feat. Keyshia Cole
5. "Buttons" - Pussycat Dolls feat. Snoop Dogg
6. "Me & U" - Cassie
7. "Get Up" - Ciara feat. Chamillionaire *airplay gainer*
8. "Ain't No Other Man" - Christina Aguilera
9. "Sexy Love" - Ne-Yo
10. "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" - Panic! At The Disco

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Paris Is Burning, But We're Throwing Ourselves Onto The Fire!

In Chart Rigger's weekly banterview, J'ason D'Luv and MoogaBoo 'fess up their true feelings about Paris Hilton's album. So much for credibility...

J'ASON D'LUV: Let me just start by saying that walking to the cash register at Target with this CD was an excercise in shame at the highest level. Amazon.com never looked so appealing.

MOOGABOO: Mm-hmm. So now a certain someone knows how a certain someone else must have felt buying Joey Lawrence's "Never Gonna Change My Love" single that certain day back in '98....

JD: Is it totally embarrassing to admit that we like this album, or am I being paranoid?

M: Not at all, because we have college educations and can always claim we're being "ironic" if anyone corners us. It's better than I expected it to be, which is sort of what everyone's saying.

JD: I can see myself not getting sick of it for at least two more days.

M: On the second play, the winners popped out: "Screwed." That other one. Then that other one. Those three are great.

JD: Well, I also have to say that Paris is really honing her craft. Her coy referencing of the sound of the Pet Shop Boys' 1994 B-side "Decadence" in her own song "Jealousy" is a master stroke. Who knew she was a fan of Alternative? Plus, the use of another Pet Shop Boys title for this same song -- and the way she parallels her drama with Nicole Richie with the duo's drama with former manager Tom Watkins -- is really brilliant. Her artistry is so inspiring.

M: I didn't hear the PSB-ness. I thought "Jealousy" sounded more like that AM Gold song, "Baby Come Back." I forget who sang it, but I always heard it at Pizza Hut as a kid from 1980 'til about 1983.

JD: It's great how every time she goes to hold a note on these songs, the producer is like, "Quick! Bring in 16 backup singers, stat!"

M: And by backup singers, you mean auto-tuner knobs. The production on this album really is top notch.

JD: You really gotta give it up to Scott Storch for "Heartbeat." It sounds to me like a Bananarama ballad, circa Wow. Paris really brought her vast knowledge of music to the table with this project.

M: She really did bring a breadth of sounds and experiences, such as those Fiddler- On-The-Roof-y strings in a few of the more urban tracks. I forget which ones, but they sound very Old World.

JD: And, let's not forget the classiness she displays, like when she sings "My heart beats like a drum/ when I hear you come," in "Heartbeat." I find this highly appropriate for a ballad.

M: Didn't Scott Storch also produce X-tina's latest bloated affair, The Jazz Project, or something?

JD: Well, I read that he was going to, but Christina refused to charter four private jets to fly his ego out to L.A. for the sessions. So now there's apparently some song on her album called "Lick My Cabaret Feathers, Storchy!"

M: I hear Linda Perry only asked her for bus fare and a sandwich...

JD: Yeah, a tuna sandwich. So, Paris' opening track, "Turn It Up," is so camp, with her attempted whisper-seduction vocals: "That's hot! Scott S'orch!" Can this broad not pronounce the letter T?

M: Well, in her defense, it is one of the tougher letters to pronounce. And right after an S? She's not Maria Callas. I do like "Turn It Up," though. It's very Chris Brown/"Run It," which is to say Paris got her money's worth.

JD: "Screwed" is one of the three beyond-amazing songs on here. It sounds so different than that Alex G mix that's been floating around for two years.

M: The intro smacks of vintage Go-Go's, and the rest of it lives up to the promise of fast, catchy candyfloss. I liked that mix, so I was expecting to be let down by the regular version. I wasn't thinking it'd to be so hi-octane.

JD: Speaking of Go-Go's, wasn't Jane Wiedlin attached to produce this thing about 14 years ago?

M: She was one of the casualties of this album's long journey, but I like to think her pixie haircut and angelic talent are all over "Screwed."

JD: And what a nice surprise -- "Nothing In This World" is a Dr. Luke song that, while it sounds like "Since U Been Gone," still manages to stand up on its own. This is my favorite on Paris.

M: I like that she ends the song with a lot of "duh duh duhs."

JD: She might be name-checking Lindsay Lohan, Nicky Hilton and Kim Stewart there.

M: "Nothing In The World" has a lot of other things going for it. Paris has some harmonies going on.

JD: It's kinda cute when Paris tries to harmonize. You just wanna give her a hug for the effort.

M: I think "I Want You," the one with the "Grease" sample, blows. Blows bad. Real bad. It's really the only track I can't get through the whole way.

JD: Well, good for her for scooping up hot producer du jour JR Rotem, though. Once "SOS" hit #1, Paris probably had her private tank plow through his living room wall and whisk him away to her studio.

M: I really hope that's it for the vintage-samples-as-entire-song trend for awhile. Especially when the outcome sounds like said tank rolling through the AM radio station.

JD: Well, this leads us to the closing track, the cover of "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy." She's gotta be playing that $47 Casio keyboard herself.

M: You know, I actually love her rendition of this. It's so true to the original, and that just kind of makes perfect sense. 1970's one-night-stand disco sleaze -- this is her natural context, I think.

JD: Do you think Rod Stewart locks himself in the bedroom, cranks up Paris' version and pops three Viagra pills while she and Kim are downstairs making cookies and playing Nintendo?

M: Yeah, sure he does. He's probably trying to get Hilary Duff to cover "Hot Legs," too! Paris keeps the "give me a dime so I can call my mother" line, which is brilliant. Aren't pay phones like $5 now? She didn't change it to "pass me my blackberry." I just want to say, "Yes, Paris! Phones were a dime back in the day. And bread was a nickel! It was great." And then she would spit on me and have the limo run me over.

JD: Well, you could throw her CD at the windshield in a vain attempt to stop the cruel Hilton machine

M: This album proves that nothing can stop the cruel Hilton machine.

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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Badshaped: Keane Singer Enters Rehab, Cancels North American Tour

After axing three concert dates in recent weeks due to Tom Chaplin's "exhaustion," Billboard reports today that Keane have canceled their entire North American tour as the lead singer is entering rehab for drug and alcohol addiction.

Well, that's just great. Couldn't they have waited till after the L.A. show to become a rock cliché, dammit? I guess I can just get a ticket refund and buy the Paris Hilton CD now...


YouTube Does Paris Hilton For The Launch Of It's First Branded Channel

Looking at how it's taken over the internet, it's hard to believe YouTube has only been online for a year and a half. This week the site launched it's first "broadcast channel" in a bid to capitalize on advertising (the channel is on the right hand side of the YouTube homepage), and Warner Bros. Records had Paris Hilton jump to be the first campaign aired, for her new album Paris (out today -- Cool new MP3 blog Tip Top Pop has a few tracks up).

It all seems harmless now, at the beginning, but how long before we have to watch commercials and ads before each video on the site, ala previews at the movie theater? Isn't that how it is for Yahoo! videos?

Oh well, at leat YouTube is free...for now.


Monday, August 21, 2006

Vanessa Anne Hudgens Drops The "Anne" (And A New Single)

Now that the house D'Luv has cable again for the first time in four years, he's learning so many amazing things. For instance, maybe I need a "starlicious" makeover! And I was definitely not up on Hollywood's Hottest Makeouts. Thanks, VH1. Most importantly, Vanessa Anne Hudgens' -- now apparently going by just Vanessa Hudgens, and/or "Baby V" -- has a new single coming out called "Baby Come Back To Me," and the video premieres this Friday on the Disney Channel, right after the Cheetah Girls 2 movie! OMG!

Warning: Don't expect High School Musical amazingness with this one. It sounds like a J. Lo throwaway.

Way to cop Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" 43 seconds in, Baby V. (God, how many times is that dang song gonna come up on here today?) The full album, imaginatively titled V, is out September 26.

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Los Angeles Times Publishes "Seven Great Teen Pop Songs," But Did They Get It Right?

The LA Times had Heidi Hurst, the editor of teen mags Tiger Beat and BOP, compile a list of "Seven Great Teen Pop Songs." Let's take a look...

1. "...Baby One More Time" (Britney Spears)

No arguement there.

2. "Mmmbop" (Hanson)

Okay, now this one doesn't get the props it deserves in retrospect. But Heidi says it "single-handedly revived the teen pop scene." I'd say that was achieved by Spice Girls a few months earlier here in the U.S. in '97. You can't even argue that Hanson were real teenagers at the time while the Spice Girls weren't, because, as Heidi points out, Zac was only 11. Plus, Kelly Clarkson is on here, so this list isn't restricted to teen artists.

3. "I Want It That Way" (Backstreet Boys)

Should have been #2, if not #1.

4. "Since U Been Gone" (Kelly Clarkson)

Can't help thinking this looks out of place amongst these late '90s/early '00s-era classics, especially since the sound of teen pop changed by the time this came out as a single last year.

5. "Bye Bye Bye" (*NSYNC)

Right on.

6. "Complicated" (Avril Lavigne

God, she was irritating.

7. "Beautiful" (Christina Aguilera)

Again, in keeping with the era, I would have put down "Genie In A Bottle" or "What A Girl Wants." Her image was hardly teen pop at this point.

All in all, a super groovy list for the paper to include. And of course, this is a list of "great teen pop songs," not greatest. But we woulda swapped out Avril and Hanson for 98 Degrees ("The Hardest Thing") and Spice Girls, or even Mandy Moore's "Candy."

What would you have included?


Sunday, August 20, 2006

Another Week, Another Couple Grand For Shakira

This week finds "Hips Don't Lie" still gyrating away at the top of the UK singles chart, plus a couple American R&B hits belatedly making an appearance in the Top 10. One of which, "Me & U" by Cassie, is actually quite good. Also, it's been some time since Arctic Monkeys had a single out in their home country. Going in at #4, "Leave Before The Lights Come On" follows the April release of the band's EP, Who The Fuck Are The Arctic Monkeys.

Elsewhere, good ol' Beyoncé debuts at #21 with grand ol' "Déjà Vu", based on downloads alone. Can she best the #4 U.S. peak the song had, once the physical single is released this coming week? The excitement of it all...

The UK Top 10:

1. "Hips Don't Lie" - Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean *5 weeks*
2. "Ridin'" - Chamillionaire feat. Krayzie Bone
3. "Love Don't Let Me Go (Walking Away)" - Dave Guetta Vs. The Egg
4. "Leave Before The Lights Come On" - Arctic Monkeys *new*
5. "Everytime We Touch" - Cascada
6. "Me & U" - Cassie
7. "Ain't No Other Man" - Christina Aguilera
8. "You Give Me Something" - James Morrison
9. "Unfaithful" - Rihanna
10. "Dancing In The Dark" - Micky Modelle Vs. Jessy *new*

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Totally Boyband Members Say Lee Latchford-Evans Is Better Best Forgotten

Golly, MTV's Totally Boyband is still a month away from airing, and the other four members of the reality show sausage gang have already fired Lee Latchford-Evans. MTV UK reports that episode four of the eight-part series will feature the booting of The Latch. Danny Woods mouthed off: "We're all bringing our own experiences to this and I don't see what he's bringing, while Dane Bowers added, "There's no real contribution, he's not helping the cause. We have two weeks to make a single." As Mobius comically pointed out, that sounds about on par with his days in Steps.

Meanwhile, in other boyband news, after 13 years with Backstreet Boys, oldest-member Kevin Richardson (35) officially quit the group this past June, stating that he wished to pursue other interests. Hmmmm. Can we expect a tragic solo album, ala the ones by Nick Carter and Brian Littrell? At any rate, Backstreet Boys are trudging on and currently recording their next studio album (due late 2006 / early 2007) with Max Martin (Yay!) and StarGate (Er...).

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Saturday, August 19, 2006

Cracker, Do You Love The Killers?

J'ASON: I know you don't really care about these things, mostly because they don't involve catnip or tuna... But my friend XO London posted the new Killers video!!!

CRACKER: OMG! You're so totally right on!

J'ASON: Wow... really?

CRACKER: Yes. I don't care.

J'ASON: Well, I love you anyway, Superstar.

CRACKER: Does that mean food is happening?

J'ASON: Hey, where's MIss Pussy?

CRACKER: Oh, she heard about the Killers video, so she said she's hiding in the laundry room until the Danity Kane album is out.

J'ASON: Will you hold me? Since I'm 32, I feel overwhelmed by being a corporate pawn in the American workplace, and dissatisfied with the overall pointlessness my generation is experiencing in life.

CRACKER: No, because you're lame. But why don't you put up the MP3 for "Desperate," the rare Killers demo from before they were signed to a label?

J'ASON: Good idea. And let's do "Replaceable," too.

CRACKER: Get a haircut, you Irish hippie.

[MP3] - "Desperate"
[MP3] - "Replaceable"

Friday, August 18, 2006

Kelly Clarkson Gets An 'A' In Whiskey-Chugging 101 At Metal Skool

Enjoy it before it gets yanked off YouTube: Kelly Clarkson, wasted, with that guy from Yellowcard at L.A. spoof-rock show, Metal Skool.

She's a good sport!


Capitol Records Loses Their Minds, Signs Lily Allen In U.S.

God almighty! This country has enough problems, and now Lily Allen's comin' over! Capitol Records have signed it for a 2007 album release.

So far, the viper-tongued witch is scheduled to perform October club dates in L.A. (at the Troubadour) and Chicago (Double Door).

Almost redeeming themselves, Capitol have also signed super-cool NYC band Interpol, now that their original record contract with Matador is up.


Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Killers Make Killer Debut, While Justin Timberlake Hacks Miss Kittin

The Top 5 singles on the Billboard Hot 100 remain in a locked position this week, so let's go a bit further down and give a giant holla to one of Chart Rigger's boyfriends, Brandon Flowers. The Killers have the "Hot Shot Debut" at #29 with "When You Were Young." Unfortunately, trash like Danity Kane and the new Nickelback single is overtaking them in downloads.

Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars" moves up a few more notches to #31, and Justin Timberlake shakes his "SexyBack" into the Top 40 at #35. Incidentally, for anyone that thinks "SexyBack" is sooo original, check out Miss Kittin and the Hacker's electroclash hit from nine years ago, "Frank Sinatra." I've been wanting to point that out for weeks, but kept forgetting. At least the inspiration came from somewhere groovy.

Elsewhere, it's a good thing Beyoncé's new video for "Ring The Alarm" is all over blogs via YouTube now, since "Déjà Vu" has dropped out of the Top 10 (to #12) after only two weeks. Also, both Paris Hilton and Janet Jackson plummet out of the Top 40 after only eight weeks of their new singles being on the chart (Paris never made it near the Top 10, and Janet didn't even go Top 20). By comparison, Rihanna's "SOS" -- in it's 27th week on -- is still hanging in at #40.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "London Bridge" - Fergie *2 weeks*
2. "Crazy" - Gnarls Barkley
3. "Promiscuous" - Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland
4. "Me & U" - Cassie
5. "Buttons" - Pussycat Dolls feat. Snoop Dogg
6. "(When You Gonna) Give It Up To Me" - Sean Paul feat. Keyshia Cole
7. "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" - Panic! At The Disco
8. "Ain't No Other Man" - Christina Aguilera
9. "Sexy Love" - Ne-Yo
10. "Shoulder Lean" - Young Dro feat. T.I.

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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Hilary Duff Gets Her Kylie On!

Words you never thought you'd hear -- we officially love Hilary Duff's new single (and image)! "Playing With Fire" premiered yesterday on MTV's TRL.

The Duff looks like she jumped outta Kylie Minogue's "What Do I Have To Do" video (you know, the one where she makes out with her sister Dannii). Gosh, boppin' that guy from Good Charlotte has really made Hilary a cool chick-a-dee.

"Playing With Fire" is the first single from her as-yet-untitled album, out this fall. Also, Hilary is interviewed in the August issue of U.S. gay rag Instinct.


Tart Art For Fergie's Naughty Album

Fergie will commence with the spanking now...


Is JoJo Pop's Most Age-Inappropriate Princess?

Welcome to this week's banterview, where J'ason D'Luv and MoogaBoo ponder why 15-year-old chanteuse JoJo is marketed as a blatant tramp.

MOOGABOO: I love JoJo. But oddly, she's not being sold as an "innocent" with the hopes of making a contrived "mature" image makeover down the road. Lyrically, she already comes off as world-weary ho.

J'ASON D'LUV: Yeah, and her label seems content to cash in on her loose ways. They're all like, "JoJo, can you redo the line 'I tore off your banana hammock and we 69'd' again? It sounded a little flat..."

M: JoJo is a professional. She'll do that take over and over again. Paris Hilton needs to take a page from JoJo's book.

JD: I don't think Paris could ever be that slutty.

M: I love how when JoJo came out, her press was all "She's 12! She's adorable! She's a tween sweetheart!" And then you see her in a lycra bodysuit, singing about throwing her man out of their sin den.

JD: Well, let's analyze the "questionable" lyrics of her hits for a second. In "Leave (Get Out)," she admits "I gave up everything I had / on something that just wouldn't last." I'm assuming she's not talking about losing her Bratz collection.

M: And where could she be telling him to "get out" of? Her parents' foyer? I think not. It's their shared apartment...before they're even married.

JD: Now, in her new single "Too Little, Too Late," she starts off singing "Come with me, stay the night / you say the words but boy it don't feel right." Really, I think JoJo is just the mouthpiece for some horny old executive at Blackground Records.

M: Wow, you really know those lyrics. 100 plays on the iPod already? But yes, that is such an adult sentiment, I wonder if she even knows what it means. It's all about that moment you realize the great lovemaking has actually been rather rote for quite some time, and now that it's really gone off the tracks, you know he's got someone else....

JD: I just hope JoJo doesn't end up penniless and destitute, turning tricks outside a soup kitchen in Hoboken by age 17.

M: Wait, isn't that how Pussycat Dolls were discovered? Just kidding, Carmit!

JD: Given her age, you'd expect her to be chirping Duff-esque tripe instead of naughty porn-pop.

M: Shouldn't she be dressed like V.I.C.K.I and singing "Sugar In The Mornin'"?

JD: God, I just had a frightening thought! Maybe we're getting conservative! I mean, when we were JoJo's age, Rick Astley was singing "There ain't no mistakin' / it's true love we're makin," and I thought that was risque! Then again, Rick wasn't an underage girl...for the most part.

M: At least you knew what that meant at 14. I thought "lovemaking" was just kissing and canoodling on the porch swing.

JD: Really? I guess my mind automatically went to the bed jam.

M: Well, despite the adult themes of her songs, JoJo still manages to exude a friendly, girlish quality that people can warm to. She's very "back to school sale," that one.

JD: Totally. I just saw Aquamarine, where she convincingly portrayed a 13-year-old who hasn't caught an STD yet.

M: So this movie was sci-fi, then? Meanwhile, poor JoJo. All she wants to do is dance, dance, and here we are deconstructing her career.

JD You're right. In all seriousness, I'm really digging "Too Little, Too Late," but you just know it's gonna be the only good song off the predictably rap-laden album.

M: Oh, don't give up on her so fast. She could pull out another jam. Remember "Baby, It's You?" That one was good.

JD: True. She could still surprise us all by doing a Hi-NRG record. I think what it really boils down to is that given her sassy anthems and the fact that she starred in Aquamarine -- which truly is the Citizen Kane of our time -- we really just want to be her.

M: I agree. Being JoJo would rock! So how did Aquamarine do at the box office?

JD: I think its earnings just covered the electric bill at the multiplex the three days it was in theaters.

M: But it's a future camp classic, right?

JD: Future? I've seen it six times on DVD in the past two weeks. Watching JoJo's methods on the silver screen is like a heroin fix.

M: I'm a little worried about you now. You haven't joined her street team, have you? Once they have you in the street team, they ain't lettin' you go.

JD: No, no. Trust me, I learned my lesson after Hoku.

Check out JoJo Online to hear "Too Little, Too Late," watch the video and... join her street team!

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