dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Banterview: We Tried To Show Robyn Love, But We Don't Know (What It Takes)

This week, J'ason and MoogaBoo had every intention to sit down for a deep, philosophical banterview about Swede darling Robyn's second coming. But, without warning, unreleased Stock Aitken Waterman demos from a scrapped Bananarama album of the late 1980s leaked online, and it was pretty much fly, Robyn, fly. Granted, the dashing duo would never, ever consider downloading pirated material...they just had a listen then went on their merry way.

MOOGABOO: Who is it this time? Oh, right. Robyn. I'll admit, I can't get into her new stuff. I really loved "Be Mine," but the video kind of ruined it for me a little.

J'ASON D'LUV: Am I completely out of touch for being dumbfounded by the whole new wave of Robyn-love that's cropped up online in the past year? We're talkin' about a broad who hasn't had a hit since the Scream franchise was still packin' 'em in.

M: Odd, isn't it? Not that she doesn't deserve it...but Robyn now has a big New York City hipster fanbase, which I never would have expected.

JD: Well, "Show Me Love" and "Do You Know (What It Takes)" should be put in a gold-plated time capsule, and when "Be Mine" came out two years ago, I thought, Aww, it's sweet that she poured Uncle Svengött's inheritance into one last visit to the recording studio. But her latest material has me thinking she's the new Annie or the new Jeffree Star; either way, she'd better hope there's another uncle waiting in the wings with a foot in the grave.

M: Poor, sweet, overhyped Annie...I think all the good press for her first album freaked her out a little. I hope she eventually comes back with something good. Maybe she could kick off the promotion by smothering Jeffree Star with a big pillow. Or a small one. Whichever works quickest.

JD: I have a feeling Jeffree could deepthroat a circus tent, so Annie might want to just hang it up at this point.

M: I would love it if Robyn, Annie and -- who else is an overrated, hipster dance goddess? Oh, Sally Shapiro! Okay, all thee of them should get in a Jeep with spikes affixed to the front bumper and have to to chase Jeffree Star, Kelly of "Shoes" fame and anyone from Fall Out Boy around a race track, and they get points for every hiptard they smushed against a Marlboro ad.

JD: Shit! Get Panic! At The Disco on the phone...we just came up with the treatment for their next video!

M: I can't help but think today's idiots of underground dance need their own Michael Alig, if only to thin out their ranks.

JD: Speaking of which, isn't that hooker getting out of the slammer this year? The bartender at Misshapes is gonna be wondering who put their Aunt June on the guest list.

M: Aunt? Try tran-ma.

JD: While we're talking about women in their sixties, a boatload of Bananarama demos leaked this weekend, including three unreleased Stock Aitken Waterman-produced gems -- "Don't Throw It All Away," "I Don't Care" and "Love Generation" -- plus a different version of "Heartless."

M: SAW apparently had no problem recycling their unused tracks..."Don't Throw It All Away" sound just like a Sonia or Jason Donovan or Lonnie Gordon tune.

JD: "Don't Throw It All Way" is so heavenly, I could end Chart Rigger right now. I doubt any pop song will ever sound this good again.

M: Didn't you say the same thing about a Tik Tak single in 2001?

JD: No, I recall comparing that one to the sound of Jason's toupee getting pureed in a blender. These definitely all sound like they were later fettered out to him for Ten Good Reasons, particularly on "You Can Depend On Me" and "Too Late To Say Goodbye."

M: "I Don't Care" is very aborted-album-just-as-Siobhan-was-leaving.

JD: I'd place that chirping twee around '88 or '89. It reminds me of something Big Fun would have sneezed out after doing six lines off the toilet at Kinky Gerlinky.

M: I bet not only do the 'nanas not remember these songs, they don't even remember anything that happened in 1988, 1989 or 2006.

JD: I'd wager they don't remember anything from '90 or '91, either -- including the royalty checks they're supposed to write each month for someone named Jacqui(e) O'Sullivan.

M: How exciting that we're letting the world know about these fantastic songs being leaked to the blogosphere.

JD: Yes, and we'll still be the only ones in the world listening to them afterwards, too.

M: You're right. I suggest we only talk about relevant artists from now on. So did you hear about the new remix of Eartha Kitt's "Where Is My Man"?

Robyn's Konichiwa Bitches EP is on iTunes now. As for the 'nana demos, the truth, as they say, is out there.

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  • At 7:41 AM, Blogger Adem IAR said…

    There is a new remix of Eartha Kitt's 'Where Is My Man'??!! Surely it can't be as good as the remix I downloaded back in the days when Napster provided illegal downloads. Can it??!

  • At 12:07 PM, Anonymous moogaboo said…

    Nowhere near as good as the 94 "Mr Vain"-inspired mix, but still pretty pumpin'.

  • At 12:34 PM, Anonymous the flip tongues of d'luv and da boo said…

    And. It. Hurts. With. Every. Heartbeat.

  • At 3:52 PM, Blogger Paul said…

    i am glad that i am not the only [person who doesn't get Robyn. I tried so hard but it didn't work so i just played Electric Youth again!!

  • At 5:43 PM, Blogger J'ason D'luv said…

    Adem, the fact that the Eartha Kitt remix mention was the one thing you zeroed in on could make your comment the gayest thing ever written on the internet.... followed very closely by MoogaBoo's original mention of the Eartha Kitt remix.

  • At 7:39 PM, Anonymous Where Is My Orangutan said…

    Wait, there are new Bananarama demos? From the titles you have listed aren't those the ones that have been floating around the net for a few years now? Are these new or better versions of the tracks?

    Oh yeah and sorry Robyn. The minute I saw Bananarama demos I skipped right over you.

    Love that 94 remix for Eartha's "Where Is My Man?" I just picked up the original 12" on Streetwise Records earlier this week. A snip at only 50 cents!

  • At 7:41 PM, Anonymous Love, Truth, & Orangutans said…

    Ooh and I love Sally Shapiro too!

  • At 7:47 PM, Blogger J'ason D'luv said…

    They were new to us, Mr. Internet Savvy Smarty Pants! Here is the full list of the ones that leaked Sunday:

    01. Ain't No Cure (Demo) (4:00)
    02. Be My Lover Tonite (Demo) (2:51)
    03. Blue Skies (Demo) (2:41)
    04. Boom! (Demo) (3:46)
    05. Don't Step On My Groove (Demo) (3:56)
    06. Don't Throw It All Away (Demo) (3:54)
    07. Falling (Demo) (4:03)
    08. Heartless (Demo) (3:40)
    09. I Don't Care (Demo) (3:35)
    10. I'm Waiting (Demo) (3:32)
    11. Long Train Running (Demo) (4:40)
    12. Love Generation (Demo) (3:17)
    13. Middle Of Nowhere (Demo) (3:26)
    14. Outta Sight (Demo) (5:30)
    15. Sleep (Demo) (3:54)
    16. U R My Baby (Demo) (5:14)
    17. You & I (Demo) (4:03)
    18. You Are Not Me (Above The Clouds) (Demo) (4:29)
    19. Your Love It Tastes So Sweet (Demo) (2:47)

  • At 10:44 PM, Blogger Robpop said…

    Robyn? What? Or three girls from the 80's? I'd rather jack. Oh no! Wrong girlband! Damn!

    Robyn gets her very own banterview. Yay! She's made it. Forget chart entries. Forget 5 star reviews. Damn boys you've done me proud.

    But wait! Was this a Robyn banterview? Wait! girlband unreleased demo's. Oh

    J'ason I am totally loving that green thing your wearing. Please tell me it isn't from Madonna's H&M range!

    Will we get a Robyn Banterview II?

  • At 10:50 PM, Blogger Poster Girl said…

    I just wanted to recognize the amazingness that is the title of this post. Do they give out awards for plays on words?

  • At 11:24 AM, Blogger J'ason D'luv said…

    RobPop, it's a few years old, and it's Gap. Naturally there's more to the Robyn b'view that didn't make it -- the racier material -- but it'll all be on the boxed set.

    THANK YOU, Poster Girl. Let me know when you find out how to reach the nominating committee so I can get the bribery under way.

  • At 4:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Don't Throw It All Away is a VERY similar chord progression to Better The Devil You Know, you know.

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