dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Music Junkie Digest: Alanis Humps, Ashlee (Still) Sucks And Mariah's In The Mood For Mexican

[First off, my apologies...I realize this photo is about 2.5 two faces ago.]

Ashlee Simpson is reportedly recording a duet with The Cure's frontman Robert Smith on her upcoming third album. Pete Wentz, who used to bone Trashlee, introduced the two. But wait! It gets worse! Keane's foxy songwriter/keyboard player Tim Rice-Oxley, who pimped himself out to Gwen Stefani recently, is now writing for Trashlee, too. This could well be the best album by the lesser Simpson yet, which means it should at least rate at "sub-par."

A more exciting unlikely combo is Alanis Morissette all whored-up Fergie-style in the video for her cover of "My Humps."

But why is she wasting this on YouTube? If a single got put on iTunes, it'd be #1 within a day, guaranteed.

Speaking of which, there's a lot of new music out today. Erasure's EP for "I Could Fall In Love With You" is now up on iTunes, as well as being available in good ol' CD single format. Annoyingly, at least on my downloaded version, the "Jeremy Wheatley Radio Mix" is all fugged up and skips around. But here's the real question: Why didn't they release b-side "I Like It" as the single, instead of the same-y sounding "I Could Fall..."? It's the way more interesting choice of the two.

Timbaland's vanity affair, Shock Value, was also released today, and we should just all be resigned to the fact that "Give It To Me" is going to be #1 for about 37 weeks very soon. At least that's a good song, and we're spared "Beautiful Liar" by Beyoncé and Shakira dominating the chart all spring. "Going To Town," the new Rufus Wainwright single was also added to iTunes along with the new Hilary Duff album, Dignity.

And on a final note, Mariah Carey looks set to be adopting a Mexican orphan. Wonder if she'll bathe it in champagne?

Qué puta muda.

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  • At 3:10 PM, Blogger Paul said…

    that alanis thing is freakily hilarious...
    the new erasure single is quite good in a nostalgic sort of way
    is trashlee still going? :O

  • At 7:31 PM, Anonymous brian said…

    Mariah continues to get bigger each time I see her.

    I agree with Paul, the Erasure song is pretty good. Shame its not 1988-it could have been a hit.

    I can't believe Trashlee has attracted hot stuff Tim Keane to work on her new album. Its still gonna suck.

    I bought the new Hilary Duff as per D'luv's recommendation. It's a'ight but by no means kylie-tastic. I wish Hilary would run over those bitches from the Hills show. Just listening to the title track made me think she hates those Hollywhorewood hookers.

  • At 7:52 PM, Blogger J'ason D'luv said…

    NEVER DOUBT D'LUV!!!!!!!!

    The title song also makes me imagine her lacing Lohan and Hilton's TrimSpa with shredded glass...

  • At 8:15 PM, Anonymous brian said…


  • At 1:53 AM, Anonymous Robert Smith's Vagina said…

    I love Trashlee Simpson and she's going to sweep the Grammys and rules the pop charts with her next album!

  • At 8:17 AM, Blogger J'ason D'luv said…

    Of course she is....you just crank the tank of nitrus a little higher and everything will be fine.

  • At 12:25 PM, Anonymous Why Can't I Be Orangutan? said…

    Robert Smith working with Ashlee Fuscking Simpson?! Uugh, what an embarassment. I can only imagine that Smith has no idea who she is.

  • At 4:54 PM, Blogger joshua said…

    Still deliciously bashing on Mariah I see! Well, when she goes the country route on her next album, she'll be bobbling along far under your radar then.

    Also, the Mexican orphan? Rumor is that it's actually her own child with Luis Miguel, tucked away behind a secret door in her Hello Kitty bathroom in NY after she was accidentally knocked up during their brief, yet serious, fling between Derek Jeter and Eminem.


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