dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Mariah Set To Flatten Miss Jackson In Early '08

Run for cover! Mariah Carey and Janet Jackson -- two of pop's loosest screws -- are set to both release new albums in early 2008.

Billboard notes that Jackson's L.A. Reid-exec-produced album is due out in February. Poor broad. She's rushing that shit out quick after 20 J.O. or whatever the hell it was called flopped last fall like a high class hooker peddling box at a bat mitzvah.

Meanwhile, Janet's boyfriend Jermaine Dupri knows who the real star is -- he's been working on Mimi's next album, which should be out two month's after Miss Jackson's drops...off the charts.

But I don't see how there's any competition. Janet hasn't had a hit in ages, and unlike her brother, she doesn't have the Jackson 5 to fall back on.

Anyway, to satiate your appetite for Mariah's curves till then, check out this two-disc DVD trash that came out last week: The Adventures Of Mimi!

That's right, doll. You just keep twirling around the gold pole and eventually the space ship will come.

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12 Comments:

  • At 12:58 PM, Blogger El MarvelOso said…

    I heard that Adobe will be presenting an award to Mariah for being Photoshopped the most!

     
  • At 1:40 PM, Anonymous lions for lambs said…

    Photoshop?! Airbrush?! NEVER! Every image of Mariah is 100% natural and completely unretouched!!!!!

     
  • At 3:28 PM, Blogger paul @ www.thezapping.com said…

    one can only hope vainly that Mariah and Janet will return to the days when I last loved them, which frankly wasn't even in this millenium. Mariah gets whorier the older she gets. Is she auditioning for Band of Gold there (wikipedia it people!)

     
  • At 5:20 PM, Blogger Mike said…

    I can't wait for Janet's next collection of songs about her dripping cunt.

     
  • At 8:12 PM, Blogger J'ason D'luv said…

    El Marv, thank god I found you.

    LOL, I highly doubt there's much on that old ho that's remained untouched.

    Paul, not sure about Band Of Gold. Perhaps Extreme Makeover, though...

    Mike, so you're into her ballads, then? I much prefer her kickier numbers.

     
  • At 1:56 AM, Blogger Kenneth Walsh said…

    Oh, Janet. Give it up. No one wants to listen to you whisper over the same beat for 12 songs anymore.

     
  • At 8:18 AM, Blogger El MarvelOso said…

    The feeling's the same, j'ason!

    To paraphrase Christine McVie: "You Make Bloggin' Fun"

     
  • At 11:59 AM, Blogger Joshua said…

    You know that I'm not a lamb right? But can I just say Mariah is the most beautiful person in the world, inside and outside, and yes, maybe she was airbrushed, but only by the hands of God in the Holy Photoshop called Divine Creation.

     
  • At 11:04 PM, Blogger J'ason D'luv said…

    Kenneth, but she whispers with such soul...

    Joshua, you must be hittin' the Jesus juice with Michael.

     
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