dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Yes, Westlife Still Suck

Westlife have had fourteen #1 singles in the U.K.... Fourteen!!! What's wrong with people? (Can't believe that I'm a fool again!) They essentially make the same languid ballad over and over and over and over again, and half the time, it's one that was already recorded by some flat tire like Barry Manilow.

That said, their latest offering, "Home," fails to top the chart this week, and is instead held back by last week's one-two punch of Leona Lewis and Take That. In fact, as far as that's concerned, it's the third of their past four singles to miss the mark. Perhaps, after so many forgettable records from the soggy boy band, the British public are finally saying, "No no! No no!" to these four low rent duds.

Further down the singles chart, Robyn makes a respectable #17 placing with "Handle Me." As the follow-up to her recent #1, "With Every Heartbeat," it gives the 28-year-old Swedish singer her fourth U.K. Top 20 hit. On the album chart, American classic rock act The Eagles have dug themselves out of the mothballs to beat Britney Spears to the #1 position.

Sorry, Britney, but it's Don Henley, bitch.

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "Bleeding Love" - Leona Lewis *2 weeks*
2. "Rule The World" - Take That
3. "Home" - Westlife *new*
4. "Apologize" - Timbaland feat. OneRepublic
5. "Valerie" - Mark Ronson feat. Amy Winehouse
6. "About You Now" - Sugababes
7. "Gimme More" - Britney Spears
8. "Uninvited" - Freemasons feat. Bailey Tzuke
9. "Goodbye Mr. A" - Hoosiers
10. "The Heart Never Lies" - McFly

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  • At 5:03 PM, Blogger Paul said…

    i was discussing with a friend t'other day - how its weird that a number 3 debut for westlife, or a top ten hit for girls aloud is considered a flop, but robyn follows up a number one single with a minimal selling album and a top twenty single. I'm not picking on robyn per se, or favouring westlife, just she is the best example this week. We decided it was a matter of past performance, cool factor (the press love to rip apart boybands, but want to make themselves seem hip by praising cool artists - yes Victoria Newton from the sun i mean you, you plaigarising whore) and just what makes a good headline that week. It will be the same if Kylie doesn't make number one and "only" goes in at number 2!! Oh no Kylie flops, etc etc. But ultimately you are right, the Westlife single sucks (though i shamedly like quite a bit of their new album. I have mental health issues :P)

    Anyway, i am probably just light headed from the fact that McFly are still in the top ten!

  • At 6:05 PM, Blogger Poster Girl said…

    Paul, I know! McFly, with a hit that lasts past one week! Yay...mate ;)

    J'ason, you had me literally LOL'ing with your Britney/Eagles stuff. I wish I knew more people in "real life" that read your blog, because "It's Don Henley, bitch" is totally my new catchphrase.

  • At 9:55 AM, Blogger J'ason D'luv said…

    Pablo, the cool factor theory is an interesting one, but perhaps it's a question best put to those who collectively dropped to their knees to suck Lily Allen's cock and Mika's vagina over the past couple years.

    For myself, it all comes down to good songs. Was Westlife's cover of "Mandy" an exciting pop single? Does "Home" really make you (the universal you, not you in particular) want to rush to your computer and expound on its greatness? Westlife are in the perfect position at this point in their career to at least demand not to make utter shit music, but they don't. Instead they always opt for complacency and cash -- what's worked before will work again -- and, ultimately, they always opt for mediocrity. Yes, I know they have very powerful puppet masters in Louis Walsh and Simon Cowell, but if Backstreet and NSync were able to sue to get out their contracts with Louis Pearlman early on, surely Westlife could sack those two knobs to make some good music if they had any inkling to do so.

    That said, there are glimmers of what could be on both their very first album ("Fool Again" and "No No," which I vaguely alluded to in this post) and even on their new album, with a couple of the Maritone-produced tracks.

    Hey, I like boy bands and girl bands. I can't get or put out there enough about Take That, Sugababes, Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, what the various former members of NSync are up to...or combos like Steps, Pop!, Scooch, etc. But my personal preference is for boy bands who work with producers to come up with original, at least mid-tempo, music for the most part, and girl groups who aren't a pack of five c**ts.

    What I'm really hearing from this is that you don't like the Robyn single, but you like Westlife and Girls Aloud. Different strokes, ya know? Lord knows no one but maybe Schlager Boys, RobPop and myself liked the Scooch single (I'm not sure even Mobius did, LOL!), but it didn't stop me from going on and on about it.

    And I think that's a great example of your cool factor theory right there -- PopJustice, who you would assume by its very nature would have backed the single, instead turned its back on it. That's why MoogaBoo and I did the Scooch/Popjustice banterview...they'll jerk off over Lily Allen and Goldfrapp (and, for the record, I like Goldfrapp), but ignore or ridicule Scooch. Hence the title of that banterview: "There's No PopJustice For Scooch."

    I'm an opinionated bastard, and I know that. But I think it's healthy and refreshing to be up front about what you like and don't like. As much as some folks don't like Darren Hayes and Robyn, there are gonna be those that don't like Westlife or Girls Aloud. Differing views are what makes the planet go round. Otherwise, we'd live in a world like the one in 1984. So it's all good.

    In the end, I'm just here for the Luv.

    PG, expect to see copyrighted T-shirts of that one at a Spencer's Gifts near you shortly.

  • At 1:31 PM, Blogger Paul said…

    haha i'm always here for the luv! I think i may have misrepresented myself a bit :P I wasn't necessarily attacking your point of view or the Robyn single for that matter (it's not that i don't like her i just don't "get" her, though i really want her to do well, because of the way she has created success is something to be admired, ditto Darren Hayes and Roisin) I was trying to work out something that has bugged me for years - what is a flop and what is a hit. To put it in other context then, Britneys debut album sells ten million her last album proper sold 2 million so was broadly classed as a flop - yet an act that is more consistent say with 2 or 3 one million selling albums is classed as a hit. It's confusing, i sort of know the answer in my head but can't verbalise it. It's the same with tv. Early Edition (yes it was kinda crap) regularly ranked 50 in the ratings but lasted 4 years. Higher profile shows with higher ratings have crashed and burned after half a season. I guess success is relative to the product being sold.

    For the record, i despise the new westlife single, but kinda like their new album. I think a lot more people like Robyn than westlife (in blog world anyway). I have weird tastes that are influenced and changed daily. One thing for sure is that i adore your site, your opinions and you :)

  • At 1:43 PM, Blogger J'ason D'luv said…

    No offense taken! I didn't think you were misrepresentin' or attacking at all... I was just kind of posing an opposing point of view, albeit rhetorically, as you did.

    With this boy, Robyn, I don't really try to "get" him or his floppy hair, I just take his music for what it's worth. I haven't heard the full Robyn album, so I'm just going single by single at this point.

    I agree with you in that I also don't think its generally relevant any longer for people, as you say, to compare album sales from the '90s to album sales now by an artist. Clearly with peer to peer sharing sites, etc., album sales have diminished...unless of course you take into account Nickelback, who have somehow managed to move 7 million copies of their latest that came out two years ago. But even that is pale considering both Ace Of Base and the Lion King soundtrack sold as many copies in one year, practically.

  • At 10:11 PM, Blogger Adem IAR said…

    Oh FFS... I just had a giant comment all typed out in reply to all the above comments, when my computer decided to shit itself and close my browser.

    I can't be bothered thinking about what I'd said again, so I'll just go straight to the nonsense; I am very happy McFly are still in the Top 10, and I wouldn't say no a Westlife-inspired gang bang.

  • At 7:37 PM, Blogger ww_adh said…

    I bet Backstreet Boys would kill to have a #3 UK hit right now. "Inconsolable" bombed there, as well as in the US. And FYI--Westlife has had 14 #1 hits. Scary as that may seem.

  • At 8:10 PM, Blogger J'ason D'luv said…

    Oops! Right you are -- how could I forget "Against All Odds," their duet with Mariah?!

    Changed it in the post... thanks!

  • At 8:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    robyns a boy? news to me.

  • At 1:19 PM, Anonymous raph said…

    As "bad" as it seems, Westlife are still around to kick butt, and they still will in years to come.

    Go Westlife!

  • At 12:12 PM, Blogger ELJNHS said…


    :keEP thE weSTLifE flAg FLYING REALLY HIGH!!! . . .
    . .when it c0mes 2 WESTLIFE, N0THING IS IMP0SSIBLE!
    -watch your words!!-

  • At 12:17 PM, Blogger ELJNHS said…


    'c0ngratULAti0ns for Westlife's 10yrs sucCEss!! . .stilLl g0ING str0nger and sTR0Nger!' w0o0o

  • At 12:23 PM, Blogger ELJNHS said…


    'reMEmber, WeSTLifERs cAN FLY WITHOUT WINGS!!!

  • At 3:22 AM, Blogger Mie Helal said…

  • At 3:48 AM, Blogger Yaro Gabriel said…

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