dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Even Santa Thinks "When You Believe" Sucks, And Jesus Probably Does, Too

And so, like previous X Factor winners Shayne Ward and Leona Lewis did the past two years, the newly-crowned Leon Jackson achieves having the Christmas #1 on the U.K. singles chart with the appalling "When You Believe." Listening to it, if I'm being generous, is like drilling a hole into your skull, sucking out your brain with a Dirt Devil Kone and replacing it with egg nog. Well, okay... it's actually not that good. With as high-profile as this show and others like it are, can they not afford to plug in the drum machine or to license something a bit less Grandma At Church for these saps to cover?

But speaking of Shayne Ward, all I gotta say is that his new album Breathless is the record Justin Timberlake and Blake Lewis probably wanted to make but were too Americanized to go for. I'm shocked and awed that Shayne came up through the Simon Cowell machinery. After spending the last two days playing it nonstop, I must admit Breathless could be tied with Kylie's X as my fave pop album of the year. If y'all don't download "Damaged," you'll be regretting it the rest of your waking life; it's pure, catchy, sugary pop magic!

Alright, Shayne-ranting over -- what's up with Sugababes? Why'd the label go with "Change" as a Christmas single? People wanna have fun at the holidays, not hear mopey, depressing ballads. People want "When You Believe," for Christ's sake! (Oops, sorry, Jesus... I shoulda waited till after Tuesday to blurt that out. My bad.) Oh well, Sugababes seem to have peaked at #13 with "Change." Better luck next time, dames. More impresseive is the #32 entry of Kylie Minogue's "Wow," which lands on the chart from downloads after she performed it on X Factor last week.

That said, I'm off for a day of travelling tomorrow, and will be back to chart-rigging in two days. Everybody out there have a safe, happy holiday, and be sure to chug some champagne and get thrown out of a bar or pub wherever you may be -- like I'll be doing in Pittsburgh this week!

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "When You Believe" - Leon Jackson *new* *1 week*
2. "What A Wonderful World" - Eva Cassidy & Katie Melua
3. "Bleeding Love" - Leona Lewis
4. "Fairytale Of New York" - The Pogues feat. Kirsty Maccoll
5. "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" - Soulja Boy Tellem
6. "All I Want For Christmas Is You" - Mariah Carey
7. "Rule The World" - Take That
8. "Valerie" - Mark Ronson feat. Amy Winehouse
9. "Call The Shots" - Girls Aloud
10. "Apologize" - Timbaland feat. OneRepublic

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  • At 2:56 PM, Blogger duanemoody.com said…

    I couldn't agree more about Shayne's record; sheer brilliance! I think that Sugababes needed to release Surprise; it is clearly the best song on the record!

  • At 3:19 PM, Blogger paul @ www.thezapping.com said…

    I always knew Shayne had it in him. Now if only he had it in me, etc. Anyway, Leon may be the worst X Factor/Pop Idol winner ever, and that's considering England has "wisely" chosen Michelle McmANUS and Steve Cockstein. Leon is the David Sneddon of the X Factor. Still at least this year's dire show spawned Same Diff. Now lets all drink Egg Nog, get drunk and download naughty pics of Shayne and Blake...

  • At 10:33 PM, Blogger Mike said…

    I think Shayne's album is pretty boring to be honest. Cheap Swedish production with a tacky American veneer to give it some cred. I'd rather listen to Leon Jackson. And that's saying something!

  • At 11:00 PM, Blogger Poster Girl said…

    "Damaged" is fantastic. As is "Wow."

    Safe travels!

  • At 1:34 AM, Blogger D'luv said…

    Duane, "Surprise" is my fave off Change, too!

    Pablo, I forgot about Michelle McManus... when is her sophomore album produced by Avant & Bloodshy, with guest appearances from Mark Ronson, Akon and Robbie Williams, coming out?

    Mike, how very dare you!!

    PG, thanks -- I'm here and exhausted!

  • At 1:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Swedish veneer is never cheap. Max takes top dollar.

  • At 9:02 PM, Blogger ww_adh said…

    You really like the Shayne Ward album? Really? I thought you were kidding. "Breathless" is a terrible song. Those lyrics about the beauty of making babies? Yeech.


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