dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

You're On Notice, Madonna: Mariah Carey's New Album Due Out April 15

Lambs, rejoice! Madonna no doubt slapped an assistant and smashed some of the fine china today as news came that Mariah Carey's 11th (!!) studio album, E=MC², is set to be released April 15. That's around the same time Madge is looking to unveil her new set of Timbaland-produced, age-inappropriate Hip hop slut chanties. But enough about the cranky Vampyre!

Mimi is back, and her first single is called "Touch My Body." Classy! According to the press release, "Touch My Body" is "blasting out worldwide on February 12th," whatever the hell that means. Apparently it's hitting radio stations today at 6:30 p.m. Additionally, "the video for 'Touch My Body' was directed by feature filmmaker Brett Ratner - internet, cable and network premieres for the video will be announced in the weeks ahead."

Great -- so the video's gonna look like a Jackie Chan movie. But, as for Madonna, I kid. I'm quite looking forward to seeing what the Material Hooker comes up with this time around, as it's a banner year for her: She's being inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame on March 10, and then she turns 70 60 50 in August. [Thanks for pointing out the typo with the age, Luciano. Oopsie!]

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19 Comments:

  • At 1:56 PM, Blogger Trailer Trashlee said…

    E=MC²?

    Science-y!

    Lambs with iTunes, start downloading!!

     
  • At 2:18 PM, Blogger Luciano said…

    That must have been a typo - Madonna is in fact turning 50!! (yeah, baby, half a century on Aug. 16!!)
    Greetings from a frequent reader in sunny Brazil!!

     
  • At 3:04 PM, Anonymous Ben said…

    I usually get a chuckle from your Madonna bashing, but lately it's been heavy, especially in a post about that overbreasted banshee.

     
  • At 3:32 PM, Blogger El MarvelOso said…

    It's amazing how for every new album, Mariah wears less clothing.

     
  • At 3:32 PM, Blogger Yuяi said…

    You best lay off our Material Street-walker, D'luvz. You don't want her putting her Vampyre man-knuckles on ya now, do ya?!

    Truly, I'm surprised you haven't calculated Mo's age in dog years yet. You're slipping!

     
  • At 4:28 PM, Blogger Moogaboo said…

    Dog years? Too obvious. Wait for the rings-of-a-redwood jokes in our next banterview. ;)

    I'm excited to her "Lick-Her-Ish" though. "4 Minutes" has verses that sound like classic Madonna. Gimme.

     
  • At 4:57 PM, Blogger D'luv said…

    I've said before, I was friends with Senator Ciccone before this race, and we'll be friends after this race. But there are some fundamental differences in policy between us that I feel the people deserve to know about.

    TT, Lambs to the slaughterhouse!

    Greetings, Luciano, and thanks for pointing out that, ahem, typo.

    Ben, babe, keep chucklin'...it's all in the name of luv. The Banshee will get hers soon enough!

    El Marv, I know... it makes me miss my mom.

    Yuri, I'll deal with you later...

    Moog, oh, that's good.... scribble that on your pad, doll.

     
  • At 7:00 PM, Anonymous Buffy The Vampyre Slayer said…

    AHH!! The Vampyre has come to feast on relevance…she's soooo dry!

     
  • At 10:42 PM, Blogger Adem With An E said…

    I have found the new Mariah to be quite underwhelming. But that's EXACTLY what I thought upon first listens of "It's Like That" when it came out and that turned out to be one of my favourite songs of 2005. So we'll see.

    LOVE the album title.

     
  • At 11:26 PM, Blogger John said…

    I also find the song weak, and I loved "It's Like That" upon first listen. I just don't get it, and it's apparent Mariah's not getting any if she thinks this is going to get someone to touch her booty.

     
  • At 5:51 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    Brilliant album title, rubbishy first single, though it may grow on me. I am ready to embrace Mariah and Janet again after some wilderness years. Did you hear all the fuss about blogs getting shut down for posting downloads of her (Mariah's) single? Tsk. That is so Prince of her.

     
  • At 12:09 PM, Blogger Poster Girl said…

    Yup, I agree with Paul on the album title and first single! I'd be very open to liking new songs from her, though, especially maybe some big clubby type thing.

     
  • At 5:55 PM, Blogger Joshua said…

    I was NOT feeling Touch My Body upon the first 24 hour of listen... but now, 3 days later, I'm all over it like Youtube... Youtube...

    There's some amateur remixes popping around now that the instrumental has floated (filtered acapellas) and they're sort of turning it out!

     
  • At 9:24 PM, Blogger D'luv said…

    Joshua, Paul, Poster Girl and John, you weren't feelin' "Touch My Body" at first? Mimi's not even tryin' to hear that noise!!!

     
  • At 1:33 AM, Blogger Joshua said…

    I know... I just hope she doesn't throw me on the bed... wrestle on the floor... or hunt me down.

     
  • At 11:32 PM, Blogger joe*to*hell said…

    Touch My Body - but dont touch the lipo scars.

     
  • At 12:19 PM, Blogger jhugbhi said…

    full album ->
    http://rapidshare.com/files/93181546/MARIAH_CAREY___TOUCH_MY_BODY_2008.rar

     
  • At 7:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    that's funny, you thought she was 60, but Mariah's the fat bitch who looks 50. And she tried to hook up with nick cannons ugly ass to look young...dumbass fat whore

     
  • At 11:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Mariah album E=Mc2 flops hard.

    Only 700k worldiwde....sad..

     

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