dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Grandma Got Run Over By A Bad Album Cover

Well, according to People, this is Madonna's Hard Candy cover.

I think this is fantastic! She looks like an old prostitute that got nailed by Mack Truck. It's great that she's embracing who she is.

In fact, it's probably Madge's best sleeve art since 1994's Bedtime Stories, where she looked like an old prostitute that got nailed by a Toyota Prius.

And fret not, Madonna queens. You should be happy she's letting her real self show. The Hard Candy cover says, "This is me, the Material Senior, and you're going to eat my mothball-flavored Jolly Rancher and love it!"

At least that's probably what she said to Justin Timberlake during the recording sessions. And he probably did it. How else do you think he got so much airtime on "4 Minutes To Save The World"?

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  • At 4:48 PM, Anonymous Black Madge-ick said…

    The problem when you're on fire is that you say all the hilarious stuff already.

    I got nothing else!

    Brilliant, hilarious, Madge-ical!

  • At 6:14 PM, Anonymous numbfromdrugs said…

    She should just cut to the chase and put a picture of her vagina on the first single. Her old, gross vagina.

    Tickety-tack tranny.

  • At 6:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    MY GOD! It's just so bad I can't look at it. I'm sure the music will be good but you think she could've left Warner Bros. on an up note. Seems to me that if she had any input on this at all then this was done on purpose. Seems unlikely. More like just a bad decision.

  • At 8:50 PM, Blogger Cristián said…

    Is this Lourdes' or Rocco's school project?

  • At 4:31 AM, Anonymous Arlen said…

    That cover is so fierce! I absolutely love it!!!

  • At 10:32 AM, Blogger Moogaboo said…

    Pretty rotten cover art, but at least it makes "Blackout" look classy by comparison.

  • At 12:08 PM, Blogger John said…

    She just looks like she's slumped in the corner, pulling the restraints off after a long night of being ridden HARD.

  • At 4:19 PM, Anonymous darla said…

    This cover will look so precious next to the cover of her book The English Roses. Talk about growing old gracefully.

  • At 1:34 PM, Blogger D'luv said…

    BM-ick, that's just how I roll, playa.

    NFD, silver tranny ferocia!

    Anon, well, as I've stated, I think it's the most beautiful work of art since Michael Jackson painted the Sixteenth Chapel.

    Cristián, yes, and it got an F.

    Arlen, preach, brotha!

    MoogaBoo, holy S, you're right! Two of the biggest stars whose latest album covers look like someone forgot to hire a Photoshop retoucher...much less a designer.

    John...and put away wet.

    Darla, well, old hookers die hard.

  • At 2:24 PM, Blogger Joshua said…

    Lil Kim already has a trademark on that pose!! http://www.bellezzevip.com/cantanti_straniere/lil_kim/mag_l_252.jpg

  • At 8:53 PM, Blogger chenmeinv0 said…

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