dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

I've Never Been Able To Decide If I'd Bang That Guy From 3 Doors Down Or Not

Hmmm. Maybe if he was paying. He's a bit frying-pan-upside-the-head...but in a kinda hot way. Well, we'll get back to him in a bit.

This week sees another in the annoyingly long line of low-brow, Bush-era one-hit novelty Hip hop songs land atop the Billboard Hot 100 chart, this time in the form of Lil Wayne and Static Major's "Lollipop." Tell you what, Lil Wayne -- you enjoy your few weeks stay at #1 while Terror Squad, Three 6 Mafia, Soulja Boy and Flo Rida get your paperwork ready at the unemployment office. Sisqo will be out with your coffee and danish in a moment, player. NEXT!

Then there's that little ho Miley Cyrus...and, what kills me is the news this week that she's penning her memoirs. HER MEMOIRS! Picture it: "Back in my day, when gasoline was only $2.98 a gallon, I'd put on my iPod and listen to oldies like 'Toxic' and 'Hey Ya' when the terror threat was raised to orange, just to escape. I even found myself talking to much older men on Friendster. And that's how I started wearing the blonde wig. Ah, the good old days..."

So anyway, Miley's "See You Again" finally cracks the Top 10 this week (at #10). Still a good jam, that one.

Two other singles making a bum-rush for the Top 10 are Danity Kane's "Damaged," up six positions to #14, and Natasha Bedingfield's "Pocketful Of Sunshine," up nine to #16.

This brings us to Mariah Carey, who not only has the Hot 100's Hot Shot Debut with "Bye Bye," at #23, but also sees "Migrate" enter at #92 and E=MC² top the album chart with the highest first-week sales of the year so far (463,000). As it should, the way she's been peddling her p**** to every TV show in sight! If you ask me, album sales aren't down these days because of illegal file-sharing...it's because pop stars have gotten lazy! Look at Mimi -- she's a workhorse! You can't expect us to buy your shit if you're not gonna promote it! Get on that soundstage and dance, Kylie!

So back to 3 Doors Down. To me, they've always been one of these corporate rock bands that produce emotionless, radio-friendly noise that says nothing to me about my life. And lead singer Brad Arnold always struck me as mildly cute, but in that drunken, one-night-stand sort of way. (Though here he just looks like Truman Capote.)

Now, maybe I'm getting more susceptible to such garbage, but I heard their latest single, "It's Not My Time," on the radio about a month ago, and found myself liking it instantly. I even downloaded it off iTunes. Should I be ashamed? Most likely.

Either way, "It's Not My Time" is up from #61 to #48 this week, so maybe there are others with the same problem out there, too.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Lollipop" - Lil Wayne Feat. Static Major *1 week*
2. "Bleeding Love" - Leona Lewis *airplay gainer*
3. "No Air" - Jordin Sparks Duet With Chris Brown *sales gainer*
4. "Love In This Club" - Usher Feat. Young Jeezy
5. "Touch My Body" - Mariah Carey
6. "4 Minutes" - Madonna Feat. Justin Timberlake
7. "Sexy Can I" - Ray J & Young Berg
8. "Love Song" - Sara Bareilles
9. "With You" - Chris Brown
10. "See You Again" - Miley Cyrus

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  • At 1:30 PM, Blogger John said…

    I have always had the exact same dilemma with that guy, too. Kinda creepy, kinda edgy, kinda hot. And the song is decent, too.

    As for a certain diva not promoting enough, I do have to agree. Although how does John Mayer get a top 20 song out of his appearance on DWTS, and Kylie can't get a radio add to save herself? It just ain't right.

  • At 2:05 PM, Anonymous shaun said…

    Ditto...he looked kind of hot in one of the earlier videos wearing a nice tight pair of leather pants, but I always just assumed it was the pants driving my quasi-crush. At any rate, I have to admit that I fell prey to that "Here by Me" song from a couple years ago...not to be confused with the similarly titled "Here Without You" from around the same time, which didn't really do it for me (they may want to consider varying up the positional adverb, preposition, pronoun title construction a bit...). Anyway, happens to the best of us...

  • At 3:55 PM, Blogger xolondon said…

    I'd take on the Three Doors guy in the pic on the top, but not the bottom. Errr. So to speak.

    Remember Robbie, you're either looking at his scalp or his back, so it's no big deal...

    [Did I just say that!?]

  • At 5:26 PM, Blogger Paul said…

    If you are talking about the guy on the right in the Three Doors pic, then absolutely not. You should not bang him. He just got lost on the way to audition for one of the mutant hillbillies in the Hills Have Eyes 3. Fo' shame.

    Yay for Bye Bye and See You Again. I look forward to Miley's memoirs. Are you ghostwriting?

  • At 6:17 PM, Anonymous numbfromdrugs said…

    putting on a blond wig and talking to much older men on friendster... who knew miley and i had anything in common?

  • At 10:34 AM, Blogger D'luv said…

    John, J. Mayer is the epitome of watching-paint-dry pop rock. Thought I can't say too much bad about him, since my mom loves him...and he has a hot ass.

    Shaun, thanks, man... I was really feeling alone on this one.

    XO, you've been a class act from day one, maestro, so we wouldn't expect any less.

    Paul, no the guy with the ball cap on. I'll totally ghostwrite Miley's memoirs... they could probably use more sex with grandmas and some gender-bending trysts with carnival performers, anyway!

    NFD, and can you believe Friendster is somehow still around?

  • At 3:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    his voice is still perfect... the same sad... i listened to this album here: http://lavamus.com/Album/2455463/Sara_Bareilles/Little_Voice__Special_Edition_/mp3/

  • At 9:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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