dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

"Toca's Miracle 2008" And The Boy Who Wouldn't Drop His Pants

Okay, I don't know what the F is up with "Toca's Miracle 2008," but it's #29 on the U.K. singles chart this week, and I feel pretty old.

In May 2000, I bought the "Toca's Miracle" CD single by Fragma. I was kind of seeing this boy who was a tad bit older -- also from Pennsylvania, and also transplanted to L.A. -- who had crystal blue eyes and was a Bhuddist. So, we hung out a lot, but he never wanted to make out. (??) I figured he must either have a major case of former Irish-Catholic guilt, or maybe he was secretly straight. Either way, totally classy.

So, finally, one night we went to dinner, and he came back to my place. My roommate at the time was out with her friend, and this guy and I went to my room, listened to music, then both passed out on my bed. We woke up at like one a.m., then just starting making out for about 10 seconds. That was it -- finally!

Suddenly, he's like, "I have to go!" and he jetted off. The next weekend, we decided to go for this big bike ride from Venice Beach, where he lived, down to Manhattan Beach. He was huffing and acting irritated because I couldn't pedal my bike as fast as him, and he kept having to stop while I caught up.

About 15 minutes into that shit, it hit me like a lightning bolt -- this guy sucked, and I was totally outta there. I put on the brakes, called him over to me, and when he finally rode up, I was like, "Uh, yeah, so this isn't gonna work." He was like, "I can ride slower," and I go, "No, you and me." It felt like a scene out of Felicity!

And, like a good TV show heroine, I'd totally learned a valuable lesson: that summer, I only dated guys who put out. And that's my "Toca's Miracle" story.

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "American Boy" - Estelle Feat. Kanye West *3 weeks*
2. "Low" - Flo Rida Feat. T-Pain
3. "Always There Where I Need To Be" - The Kooks
4. "Black And Gold" - Sam Sparro
5. "Mercy" - Duffy
6. "Touch My Body" - Mariah Carey
7. "Better In Time/Footprints In The Sand" - Leona Lewis
8. "4 Minutes" - Madonna Feat. Justin Timberlake
9. "With You" - Chris Brown
10. "Rockstar" - Nickelback

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  • At 8:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I hope you peddled away casually with your hair blowing in the wind!

  • At 12:04 AM, Blogger gatoinfeliz said…

    D'luv, that was an awesome story. Is it LA that brings out the weird in people or are they just naturally fucked?

    By the way Mariah's cd leaked. As usual it only has around 4 good songs.

  • At 3:03 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    That is totally Felicity! I love it! What a jackass! Who wouldn't want to make out with you... My story for Toca's Miracle ends happier... I had met Dazpants on my birthday in May 2000 and been on a couple of dates over the next two days. We went to a club on the saturday with his friends and were very flirtatious but still hadn't kissed. We were dancing to Toca's Miracle and i was getting annoyed that he hadn't made out with me and his friend Emma asked what was up... Just as the music stopped in one of those classic "shout something inappropriate to be heard, but loud music ceases" moments i yelled "Is he ever going to fucking kiss me?" And he did. Hurrah! I'd like to say that when he kissed me the whole club burst into a round of applause and cheers, but the bastards ruined my perfect film moment by tittering and dancing to Deeper Shadeof Blue. Which i then really wanted to dance to cos i knew the moves, but Darren wouldn't STOP kissing me...! Sheesh!

  • At 9:31 AM, Blogger Adem With An E said…

    My "Toca's Miracle" story isn't so classy as yours or Paul's. Fragma were performing a one-off show in Australia for a nightclub I was working for at the times Members Only Night. And by "Fragma," I mean the bitch that sang that "Embrace Me" single of theirs. Anyway, girl got up on stage with two hilarious back-up dancers, opened with "Magic," which was live, and then mimed her way through "Toca's Miracle." She did this again a further two times through the show.

    After I asked her why she mimed only that song and she insisted it was her singing. So I then spent the rest of the evening calling her Coco (the actual vocalists name) which she - I don't think - quite got.

  • At 11:43 AM, Anonymous numbfromdrugs said…

    Here's what comes to mind when I think of Toca's Miracle:

    -Brazilian boy with plaid trousers
    -fumbling with the credit card machine on the Jubilee Line

    the end!

  • At 11:45 AM, Anonymous numbfromdrugs said…

    I forgot one more thing:

    -acqua di gio

  • At 12:48 PM, Blogger duanemoody.com said…

    No you did not invoke Felicity on me!!! I love that show so very much. Anyway, is this "new version" of that amazing song different? I don't know why they would want to mess with a great song like that, so I hope it isn't so.

  • At 1:32 PM, Blogger Poster Girl said…

    And, like a good TV show heroine, I'd totally learned a valuable lesson: that summer, I only dated guys who put out.

    When I print up the "All I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From ChartRigger" posters, that's so going on there. Life lessons from D'luv.

  • At 6:21 PM, Blogger xolondon said…

    I have never heard this song, although I did have a scene one night where I declined an offer in the most articulate, suave way. But I like the idea of putting on the brakes, literally.

  • At 6:36 PM, Blogger D'luv said…

    Anonymous ...and a bottle of Jack in the hand!

    Gatoinfeliz, thanks. I think all the LA freaks are just lookin for a little D'luvvin', but can't handle the shimmer.

    Paul, so let me get this straight, because I'm having a hard time understanding... you chose a guy over Steps??

    Adem, Coco sucked, and I hope she's now got a career shooting ping pong balls out her wad for sailors in Tijuana.

    NFD, vague never sounded so sexy.

    Duane, I watched every episode of Felicity religiously, and had them all on videotape. Haven't actually heard the new version of "Toca's Miracle."

    PG, stick with me, diva, and life begins to sparkle.

    XO, some day I'll write about the end of the month-long fling the guy who stuffed tubes into televisions at the Pennsylvania Sony plant, where I quoted Kylie's "What Kind Of Fool" in my breakup soliloquy.

  • At 10:22 PM, Anonymous bmmg39 said…

    Some people just aren't interested in doing that sort of kissing. It's rather common and not a big deal.


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