dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Which American Idol David Will Become A Hooker And Which Will Make Your Fries?

Oh, it's so exciting, isn't it? Which of these two Davids -- "Baby Queen" Archuleta or Cook -- will be the next to issue a tepid, cookie cutter dirge of a first single that radio won't touch with a 300 foot crane? Going by tradition, probably both.

But which to promote more heavily, Clive Davis, and which to give the ol' Blake Lewis treatment? David A. sure has a pretty....voice. But David Cook's fingers probably know their way around a guitar string better. (And around Baby Queen!)

Really, we should be wishing them both well. But let's be honest -- this is probably already a heavily-brokered, done deal before the finale tape starts rolling. Just imagine being a fly on the wall:

Baby Queen: If you win, I'll let you f*** me. But If I win, you have to f*** me.

Oh, I kid. You know Daddy Archuleta wouldn't allow that to happen...without a contract. But seriously, I'm putting my money on Paula Abdul. After her amazing comeback smash "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow" charted at the soaring heights of #62, no wonder it seemed like she was crunked like there's no tomorrow this whole season!

The Party Gods say you're forever their girl, Paula! Now put that dog down before it chokes on a bottle cap.

Labels: , , , , , ,


  • At 1:52 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    sigh. little archie really should have won. His tuesday performances were far superior to Mr Cook. Sadly if Archie were in england, simon would have cheesed him up Same Difference style and we would be looking forward some disco pop anthems rather than the MOR dirge that will be foisted upon the public.

  • At 10:29 AM, Blogger D'luv said…

    I'm glad I keep myself in an Idol-free bubble. I caught one episode this season.

  • At 11:01 PM, Blogger John said…

    If Josh Groban could have the best-selling CD of 2007, then Archuleta could probably shit CD's, and the public would buy them.

    I actually am a Cook fan, and was glad for the result. The American public (or at least the crazed cougars voting for Cook) kept this show relevant for another season.

  • At 6:36 AM, Anonymous Arnold said…

    Quite effective information, thank you for your post.
    blank bill of sale | Niagara falls facts | Aruba map


Post a Comment

<< Home