dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Career Advice For Natasha Bedingfield: Ditch NKOTB And Start Banging Coldplay

Here's a pic of Natasha Bedingfield where you can almost see her jugs and her pocketful of sunshine. You could argue that NB and Coldplay are pretty much the most successful U.K. pop acts in America today.

Whilst at Best Buy today, I caught that Coldplay's Viva La Vida Or Death And therkek dldkdd kdk 3e we*$% &$*&km ykdila ipj eki ek72 was on sale for $9.99. And since I'm miles away from my iTunes account this week, I decided to buy it in the archaic form of the Compact Disc! (And whilst "whilst" sounds like douchefuckery whenever an American says/types it, it felt appropriate whilst one is discussing Coldplay.)

The album seemed decent after one spin -- and by that I mean it's goin' in my CD cabinet with all those other "decent" Coldplay CDs and never getting listened to again. But it's confounding why Natasha, who's racked up five Billboard chart hits over the past three years, is slumming as an opening act for out-of-tune warbling dunces New Kids On The Block this fall.

She's probably in one of those odd situations where her albums don't sell well enough to justify a full tour of her own, but why not pair her up with Coldplay? Natasha sings deep and meaningful songs about the times we live in, and Chris Martin and Co. do throw-away, trivial pop, so they'd balance each other out perfectly.

Plus, she could totally try to make out with Guy Berryman (below, second from left), or grab his naked butt after slipping him rhohypnol.

Oh well, maybe the Jonas Brothers will be in need of a coatcheck girl or a stripper for their next tour, and NB can finally take it to the next level.

New Towleroad column up now!

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7 Comments:

  • At 3:15 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    sigh. guy berryman. he almost makes coldplay worthwhile doesn't he?! Totally agree with you regarding nats...

     
  • At 11:24 AM, Anonymous Pocketful of Orangutan said…

    Ooh maybe they'll have to flip the headliner and give Natasha top billing over NKOTB. That would be just desserts for the Blockheads as they did the same damn thing to Tiffany all those years ago!

     
  • At 1:09 PM, Blogger duanemoody.com said…

    I LOLed when you referred to her nooney as her pocket full of sunshine. You kill me.

    As for banging Coldplay, I am TOTALLY down for Will Champion. He gives me the vapors.

     
  • At 1:16 PM, Anonymous Seanti said…

    And if Tash hopped on the Coldplay tour bus, they could duet on 'The Scientist,' reprising her somnolent Radio 1 version...

     
  • At 1:47 PM, Anonymous Vitto said…

    my coldplay hotness chart:
    1. guy berryman
    2. guy berryman
    3. guy berryman
    4. the almost bald one
    5. guy berryman

     
  • At 4:47 PM, Blogger D'luv said…

    Too late for this dream pairing! It was announced today that Santogold is opening for Coldplay on their tour...

     
  • At 4:56 PM, Anonymous successwithusana said…

    It won't really have effect, I think this way.

     

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