dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Jordin Sparks Has Sex With A Tree

Jordin Sparks has a new video for "One Step At A Time," one of the highlights of her album. (It sounds just like Kylie's "All I See.") I'd post it here, but Sony's disabled the embedding capabilities on YouTube and ensured that anyone else who doesn't follow suit will be tasered and thrown onto a pile of broken glass.

But fuck that, I'll just tell you my damn interpretation of this trash.

Jordin walks to the beat of the song in green shoes. Pay attention, because the shoes come off later when her thighs are in the air and she does sexy.

Nothing says glamour like twirling through L.A.'s finest scaffolding.

Actually, I know where this is. I totally drunk-pissed on a poster of Ryan Seacrest on this block a few months back.

Yep. Porn.

This is the part where she flags down a trick by pole dancing on a fig tree.

Scrawled on her hand is "I love you, Winthxhdyfyeriyyeey" or something. I don't know who Winthxhdyfyexxyefi is, but you can bet that hand does.

Sex. These songs don't get played on their own, after all...

New Towleroad column up now!

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