dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Wait...Timbaland Is Straight?!?!?

Pop maestro Timbaland got married last night -- to a woman -- in Aruba. Timbland's wife -- again, a woman -- is Monique Idlett, and the two apparently have a daughter together -- from having man-and-woman-sex -- who was born in November.

Monique and Tim reportedly were hitched ghetto-style while wearing sweatpants at the beginning of the month in Virginia, before having the swank ceremony last night in Aruba.

Sweats are pretty classy, even for Virginia. Trust me, the only way to have a trashier wedding would've been if they threw down in my Pennsylvania hometown, at Burger Hut II, as Maude the hostess took off her wooden leg and officiated the nuptials before pole-dancing on the deep fryer.

*Sniff* Sorry...I always cry at weddings in burger joints.



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