dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Mariah Carey: 38 Going On 13

The regression of Mimi continues with her new Elle cover shoot.

First she marries child-groom Nick Cannon, a stunt the whole world surely thought was a hoax or, at the very least, a grand publicity stunt.

Then she continues cranking out a series of panty-flashing, bikini-writhing videos, each successive one having less and less of a plot other than "Mariah touches her elbows behind her back."

Finally, we get the cover of Elle, where it's Uh-oh! The teen stripper next door can't keep her skirt on!

God bless you, Mimi, but we get it already—your thighs haven't looked this good since "One Sweet Day" and you're excited about that. But don't forget that you're doing your deep, meaningful lyrics a complete disservice by shilling your tits over the art, doll.

Don't forget to vote for the greatest male pop star of the past 25 years!

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3 Comments:

  • At 8:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Mariah is going to be the next Michael Jackson...career loses steam, goes completely batshit, etc. Just wait until she hits 40. She'll lose it.

     
  • At 8:11 PM, Blogger John said…

    I'm hoping this isn't a surprise to anyone. The medication only helps keep the ice cream chick in check. She's still cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, though.

     
  • At 9:59 AM, Blogger D'luv said…

    Anonymous, didn't that already happen about seven years ago? Are you saying there will be a Second Coming of Mimi's Insanity?

    John, I bet she sits on double-scoop cones.

     

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