dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Beyoncé Will Never Be As Talented As Britney

Once again Beyoncé has proven to be an immense failure. While Pink and soul legend Britney Spears were able at least to break up the T.I. monopoly at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 Singles chart for a week each, the onetime-successful Destiny's Child defector's latest, "If I Were A Boy," has been a colossal disappointment after only peaking at #3. It's now sliding down into obscurity like a stripper on a greased pole.

It must espcially burn B's hive to see Rihanna having so much luck—five #1s over the course of two years. Sorry, Sasha Fierce; she's just younger and has better hair than you.

And while California has passed Proposition 8, thereby denying gays the right to marry, at least the music-buying public is welcoming transvestites with open arms: Lady GaGa's "Just Dance" finally makes a giant leap into the Top 40 and lands at #27.

On the album chart, Lady SlutBox's The Fame debuts at #17. Doll, with a chart position like that, you'd best lose the shirt and panties if you want the fame.

Pink's Funhouse has a big week and enters at #2, while in its third week, Keane's Perfect Symmetry has fallen to #80.

Anyway, gotta go, now. I'm meeting Beyoncé for brunch. But I'll leave you with Dan, Ralph, Andy and Tom:

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Live Your Life" - T.I. feat. Rihanna *2 weeks* *airplay gainer*
2. "Whatever You Like" - T.I.
3. "So What" - Pink
4. "Hot N Cold" - Katy Perry
5. "If I Were A Boy" - Beyoncé
6. "Womanizer" - Britney Spears
7. "Let It Rock'" - Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne
8. "Miss Independent" - Ne-Yo
9. "Right Now (Na Na Na)" - Akon *sales gainer*
10. "I'm Yours'" - Jason Mraz

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  • At 12:46 PM, Blogger John said…

    Let's not get too carried away with that headline. Britney's got the human equivalent of a cone around her head to keep her from harming herself. Apparently Beyonce can exist without paparazzi on a daily basis. Stunning concept, I know. But that video? Priceless. Painful, but priceless.

  • At 4:21 PM, Blogger Poster Girl said…

    I feel like I should have something to say about Beyoncé's "Halo" by now seeing as everyone seems to adore it so much, but I just don't know. Definitely one of (the?) album standouts, a great song, but I don't feel like it's earth-shatteringly amazing, best-song-of-the-year quality yet. I reserve the right to change my mind on that, though. I haven't listened to it enough yet to know for sure.

    Gah, Proposition 8 (though it passed, no? And was a ban?)--that's the sort of thing that makes me want to go on a rant. I just keep thinking (and hoping) that we'll look back on this era with the same disapproving confusion and inability to understand that we look back on other periods of blatant discrimination with now.

  • At 1:40 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    D-Rat are the hottest new boyband out there!

  • At 5:27 AM, Blogger Peter said…

    Prop 8 passed, amending the constitution of CA to ban gay marriage. No on 8 groups are protesting and will fight it in court. Before Prop 8, gay marriage had been allowed in CA for a few months.

  • At 10:10 AM, Blogger D'luv said…

    John, all said with a bit of tongue in cheek, luv. If you don't know that by now...well, then you need a good spanking. Hmmmm....

    PG, well, it's not earth-shatteringly amazing. The bar has been set so low that a song like "Halo" gets people cranked, just because most of Beyonce's crap is garbage.

    Paul, put your tongue away, dad.

    Peter, yes. Yes. Oh God, yes.

  • At 4:18 AM, Blogger Adem With An E said…

    Sasha Fierce sounds like a tampon range.

  • At 11:50 PM, Anonymous Zechariah said…

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