dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Friday, December 19, 2008

The 10 Best Pop Singles Of 2008...And Then Some

Following last week's Worst Singles Of 2008 list, D'luv and MoogaBoo have teamed up once again to bring you Chart Rigger's fourth annual roundup of the year's best.

But after sifting through to find the cream of the crop, we discovered we had a few tasty leftovers. Therefore, since it's the season of giving and we're feeling generous, below are the 10 best, plus the best of the rest!

10. Ne-Yo, "Closer" (U.K. #1, U.S. #7, AUS #8)

MoogaBoo says: "Ne-Yo could really do no wrong this year. Well, except for when he ran over that homeless hooker, backed up over her again, cranked the volume on the car stereo which was playing 'Closer,' then sped off with her wig still stuck to the exhaust pipe. That was wrong."
D'luv says: "Mom?"

9. Coldplay, "Viva La Vida" (U.S. #1, U.K. #1, AUS #2)

D'luv says: "This decade's 'Everybody Wants To Rule The World.' No, really...!"
MoogaBoo says: "I prefer the Almighty remake, as recorded by Cinnamon featuring Alisha King, but I can't fault the guy who wrote it. Bravo, Coldplay."

8. Cyndi Lauper, "Into The Nightlife" (U.S. Dance #1)

MoogaBoo says: "America, you mean to tell me you liked Old Gristle Arms' rotten candy more than this synth-y Cyndi anthem? Fuck off, I'm moving to Beliz."
D'luv says: "I'd have actually given up beating off for a week for this to become a hit. I mean, thank God it didn't come to that, but, you know..."

7. Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown, "No Air" (U.S. #3, U.K. #3, AUS #1)

MoogaBoo says: "These two hambones really outdid themselves on a summery, feel-good duet. Even people under 40 liked it."
D'luv says: "I still maintain that three-fourths of Jordin Sparks' album is an underappreciated masterpiece. Eh? Which songs in particular do I mean? Hell if I know what they're called."

6. David Archuleta, "Crush" (U.S. #2, CAN #7)

MoogaBoo says: "Until he turns 21, loses all prospects and is forced to star in the HOT Channel event Tasty's First Teaze, this will do."
D'luv says: "Someday, when you're old enough, Archie, a big male stripper is gonna crush your head like a peanut between his thighs."

5. Katy Perry, "Hot N Cold" (U.S. #3, U.K. #4, AUS #4)

MoogaBoo says: "Yeah, she's annoying; also yeah, this song rocks and the video's a hoot."
D'luv says: "This Max Martin/Dr. Luke jam is the closest thing to Hi-NRG to land in the U.S. Top 5 in years. Okay, not really, but I think I want that phrase on my gravestone."

4. Mariah Carey, "Touch My Body" (U.S. #1, U.K. #5)

D'luv says: "Now that Mariah's utterly insane, I'm just so proud of her."
MoogaBoo says: "I love how shamelessly this goofball moos the word YooouTuuuube."

3. Kylie Minogue, "In My Arms" (GER #8, U.K. #10)

MoogaBoo says: "Calvin Harris' spiky production is as fuckable as he is. Oh, and Kylie's good, too. (Calvin, call me?)"
D'luv says: "See, it's all about wearing the right jacket in the video."

2. Rihanna, "Take A Bow" (U.S. #1, U.K. #1, CAN #1)

D'luv says: "Yeah, yeah...you all expect 'Disturbia' to be on here. But this is the true test-of-time champion out of Rihanna's 37 singles this year."
MoogaBoo says: "At once sassy and yet totally detached (but not as zombie-like as that sounds), Rihanna rode this mid-tempo jam straight to the center of my heart. Bonus points for sprinklers."

1. Chris Brown
, "Forever" (U.S. #2, CAN #2, U.K. #4)

D'luv says: "Wrigley's tie-in? Who gives a shit. Undeniable from the first listen. And that's how good pop should be."
MoogaBoo says: "When Chris Brown revealed the corporate adware behind his uplifting, state-of-the-dancefloor smash, I felt betrayed and raped. But in a good way. (Call me, Chris?)"


Best Remix That Didn't Make Us Want To Hang The DJ:
Alphabeat, "Boyfriend (Pete Hammond Mix)"

Best Diamond In A Sea Of Wank:
Santogold, "Lights Out"

Best Residuals Check In Vince Clarke's Pocket:
The Saturdays, "If This Is Love"

Best Excuse To Pretend You're Indie For Three Minutes, 49 Seconds:
MGMT, "Electric Feel"

Best Single To End An Artist's Career On:
Annie, "I Know Your Girlfriend Hates Me"

Best Follow-Up To A Subpar First Single Off An Album:
Britney Spears, "Circus"

Best Miley Cyrus-Adjacent Non-Miley Cyrus Jam:
Metro Station, "Shake It"

* Chart Rigger's Best Singles Of 2007
* Chart Rigger's Best Singles Of 2006
* Chart Rigger's Best Singles Of 2005

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  • At 5:51 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    Now that's what i call a countdown. Kylie. Yay. Chris Brown. Yay. No Air. Yay. I'm even starting to really really love that Coldplay song! It's immense. I'm just 5 months behind everyone else. And while i can't condone your KatyPerryness, I think your tombstone entry tops my preferred choice of "Stiff at last"

  • At 6:32 AM, Blogger Mike said…

    I love how you've listed Aus chart positions as if anyone gives a damn about our shithole of a country!

    And I'm so excited that Kylie made your list. "In My Arms" is fucking amazing!

    So when are you and the ball & chain going to venture down under? I swear I'll meet you at the airport with a banner!

    PS. Moogaboo is fierce!!


  • At 11:53 AM, Blogger John said…

    Top-notch list. The Mariah track had a short shelf life, though. I liked it for about a week, and then all downhill from there. Actually, I would have thought that her marriage would have had a similar shelf life.

  • At 1:31 PM, Blogger Jeffrey Bryan said…

    Everybody Wants To Rule The World? Are you f'ing me? Coldplay's La Vida Loca doesn't come close to touching that kind of glory.

  • At 5:10 PM, Blogger D'luv said…

    Jeffrey, if I was 'f'ing you,' you wouldn't need to ask. (Ba-da-boom-TSCH!!)

  • At 6:53 PM, Blogger Poster Girl said…

    Love it. You can always count on you two for a great countdown that's fun to read as well. I'm glad you gave some love to tracks I love but that probably won't end up making my list as well as some that will. "Take A Bow" did drive me crazy by the end of the year, but short of that, this would make for a pretty amazing run on the iPod.

    I don't know that Santogold track, but your description and the rest of the songs on this list are making me think I should check it out.

  • At 6:22 AM, Anonymous t-boxx said…

    great countdown, though I would like to tar and feather coldplay. that band, much like that song, suck herpe ass.

  • At 6:52 PM, Blogger Yuяi said…

    I think you best be sleeping with one eye open these days, D'luvz. Slighting Ye Olde Vampyre like that cannot be good for your health!

  • At 2:37 AM, Blogger Adem With An E said…

    Your last couple of '08 related posts are exactly what I needed after my week from hell. Thank you very much D'luv and Moogaboo!


  • At 5:14 PM, Blogger Dave said…

    Here's my favourite top 10 of 2009:

    10. Ace Of Base, "Wheel Of Fortune 2009" (#10 Sweden) ... a nice techno remake makes me ready for some new songs!

    9. Cyndi Lauper, "Into The Nightlife" (#1 US Dance) ... I didn't really like it at first but the chorus is killer and makes the verses forgivable.

    8. Girls Aloud, "The Loving Kind" ... I know it isn't officially released until January but I'm counting it this year because it is fabulous!

    7. Magnus Carlsson, "Crazy Summer Nights" (#4 Sweden) ... so he quit Alcazar, but this could be an Alcazar song.

    6. Sugababes, "Girls" (#3 UK) ... it had to grow on me and I like it ... but not as good as some previous singles.

    5. Alcazar, "Inhibitions" (#10 Sweden) ... a fabulous song and pity no video was made.

    4. The B-52s "Funplex" (#14 US Dance) ... it was good to have them back, if ever so briefly. Next time less guitars would be nice. Overall, a very fun song.

    3. Robyn, "Be Mine" (#10 UK) ... brillant pop! Robyn rocks.

    2. Kylie Minogue, "Wow" (#5 UK) ... very fun. Her best single from "X".

    1. Alcazar, "We Keep On Rockin'" (#4 Sweden) ... bloody brilliant song. Unapologetic pop with a campy dance routine. And, they name check themselves.

  • At 2:36 PM, Blogger Joshua said…

    OMG your commentary had me rolling down the aisles! ESPECIALLY the Archie ones!

    I'm surprised you included Touch My Body on there - to me, it was merely an okay song. No Air WAS a fantastic song though, even if Chris Brown's singing leaves so much to be desired :|

  • At 5:43 PM, Blogger Jess Nukem said…

    I bet you guys feel ridic about Chris Brown after what happened now.


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