dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Kelly Clarkson's New Album Is Not 'Masquerade,' It's 'All I Ever Wanted'

The other day I posted that Kelly Clarkson's upcoming fourth studio album would be called Masquerade. Yeah, well, that's the last time I ever post on rumor, hearsay or utter poppycock!

Well, maybe I'll still do poppycock.

Kelly's album is called All I Ever Wanted. She revealed the art on her official website. Like, she got on there herself and did it, because she has absolutely nothing better to do than write posts for her site.

Actually, this is Kelly Clarkson writing this now. You never knew it was actually me behind these hazel eyes, did you? Do you like my hair extensions on my new album cover?

Alright, it's not really Kelly. Suckers. I finally heard a clip of "My Life Would Suck Without You," and while I had initially balked at the "Since U Been Gone" comparisons, I gotta say, it's pretty exuberant.

It kinda makes me want to run off a cliff with a daffodil in my mouth. I'm glad Max Martin and Dr. Luke held back their best jam in years from Pink, Britney and Katy Perry for Kelly.

Because now we can just assume Clive Davis fucks for tracks.

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  • At 12:29 PM, Blogger Paul said…

    and thank god. If the best max martin track in years had been given to katy perry, i think i would've wept.

    Poppycock also relates to a story from college which is far too filthy to tell here. Mind you, this is chartrigger, so.... :P

  • At 12:36 PM, Blogger hun*ter said…

    Ditto on the Katy Perry comment. That's the most colorful un-Kelly Clarkson looking cover of all time.

  • At 2:35 PM, Blogger Trailer Trashlee said…

    I don't like how, after My December fliz-opped like Clive Davis into a gaggle of WeHo rent boys, La Clarkson is getting this awkwardly fitting Katy Perryian makeover.

    She just looks uncomfortable, all puffy and painted up. Now Clay...there's an AI diva who would be right at home gussied up like Appalachian prom night!

  • At 3:57 PM, Anonymous Matthew Finn said…

    The single cover is better- trashy lolita always wins - and a sparkly lollipop? Twizzles..

  • At 8:36 PM, Blogger J.Me said…

    Is it just me, or does the way she sings "...maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye..." part sound eerily like the first line of New Order's "Regret"?

  • At 9:57 AM, Blogger D'luv said…

    J.Me, long time no hear! You're so right! Maybe I've forgotten, the name and the address... I NEVER thought of that...well, hey, Max/Luke admitted they swiped much from the Strokes for "Since U Been Gone," so, who knows.

    MF, TOTAL sparkly Lollipop. Maybe she didn't want to go the full Madonna route with the album cover, though. You know, shoving a fire hydrant up her swamp and all...

    TT, Clay would be perfect for that heart-shaped lollipop pose. As for Kelly, I don't care what the whore looks like, just bring on the good songs! Although, I did like her better with the short hair...and drunk at the Metal Skool show.

    Hun*ter, Kelly eats Katy for breakfast. Actually she probably would like to.

    Paul, I'm still waiting for this damn story, and it's already been two days. Spill it.

  • At 4:26 PM, Anonymous donuteyes said…

    i'm glad i'm not the only one who noticed the new order regret similarity. there's bound to be a mash-up on it's way...

    peter hook is gonna wanna fight kelly clarkson.

  • At 1:00 AM, Anonymous Randal said…

  • At 3:41 AM, Anonymous site said…

    Well, I don't actually think this is likely to have effect.


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