dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

No, 50 Cent, You Can Just Kiss Kelly Clarkson's Butt Right Now!

Goddammit! The other day I had to go and mention how around this time back in 2005, 50 Cent's "Candy Shop" was #1 on Billboard's Hot 100 for nine weeks, and subsequently kept far greater pop singles like Green Day's "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams" and Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone" stuck at #2.

Well, the curse of 50 Cent has struck again, as his latest treacle with Eminem and Dr. Dre, "Crack A Bottle," has unseated Kelly's two-week reign at the top of the chart with "My Life Would Suck Without You."

This set some kind of record for first-week digital sales or something, but get in line, playahz—records are set every week, and you three knuckleheads can just kiss Kelly Clarkson's ample rump!

Lady GaGa's second single "Poker Face" is the week's Sales Gainer, and jumps from #23 to #12...and rightly so! There seems to be a lot of GaGa haters in the pop blogosphere, but, really, kids, this is a single worth touting.

Sure, the Lady in question might not have pretty fake tits like those slutbags in Girls Aloud, and she doesn't sing with marbles in her mouth (and up her squid pocket) like Lily Allen, but "Poker Face" is a more than decent jam.

One band who's probably thinking they could have it so much better is none other than Franz Ferdinand; their third LP Tonight: Franz Ferdinand drops like a wet stripper on a greased pole from #9 to #59 on the album chart. Sadly, even in the U.K. the Scottish group saw Tonight fall from #2 to #21 this past week.

Meanwhile, here in the States, The Fray's self-titled second album debuts at #1. It really is a cruel world sometimes.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Crack A Bottle" - Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent *1 week*
2. "Heartless" - Kanye West
3. "Just Dance" - Lady GaGa feat. Colby O'Donis
4. "My Life Would Suck Without You" - Kelly Clarkson
5. "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" - Beyonce
6. "Gives You Hell" - The All-American Rejects
7. "Love Story" - Taylor Swift
8. "You Found Me" - The Fray
9. "Dead And Gone" - T.I. feat. Justin Timberlake
10. "I'm Yours" - Jason Mraz

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  • At 1:04 PM, Blogger Andrew said…

    Poker Face is pretty much amazing but to me it is the only solid track on her album minus the "Disco stick" line from Love Game. However, i do prefer the "Slutbag's" (as you called them) track, The Loving Kind! ;)

    *Great blog by the way.*

  • At 5:17 PM, Blogger Moogaboo said…

    I can't believe Crack Bottles is at number one, but whatevz, Poker Face is rad and I can't wait to hear the PSB remix of her next-next single, "Eh Eh".

  • At 6:42 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    i refuse to be drawn in by your Lady loving and Lily bashing :) I will however mourn for poor Franz :(

    word verification is felesio which sounds filthy. i like/.

  • At 9:13 AM, Anonymous RadioCremeBrulee said…

    The "Jody Den Broeder Radio Edit" of "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga is WAY better than the original. Check it out if you get a chance.

  • At 11:13 AM, Blogger D'luv said…

    Andrew, I was the same way till I listened to The Fame a few times, and now I pretty much like every track. Ones to take a second listen to: "Starstruck" and "Boys Boys Boys." Trust me....

    MoogaB, "Crack Buttonz" is indeed lame, but hopefully the last gasp of self-indulgent materialistic rap before that shit all goes by the wayside in the wake of the recession.

    Classiest line: "Now wheres the rubbers? Whose got the rubbers?
    I noticed there’s so many of them
    and there’s really not that many of us/ Ladies love us and my posses kicking up dust/ Its on till the break of dawn and were starting this party from dusk."

    Paul, I think the word verification is based on each individual slut leaving the comment.

    Radio, thanks! I'll do that right now...

  • At 3:45 PM, Blogger will said…

    Wet stripper down a pole. Too funny! I am so sick of "Poker Face". I really hate this delayed reaction success of Gaga. I seriously was over "Poker Face" in 1999 already.

    Somebody needs to leak that new Kelly album like a heavy flow.

  • At 5:57 AM, Anonymous herbalwellspring said…

    It can't work in reality, that's exactly what I think.


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