dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Lady GaGa Hammers A Giant Stake Into Madonna's Undead Corpse

And so not a new song cracks the Top 10 of Billboard's Hot 100 chart this week. However, Lady GaGa makes a move to firmly plant her stripper pole on Planet Pop—her second single "Poker Face" moves up to #3 while "Just Dance" is still sitting firmly at #7, and her full-length set The Fame also climbs to a new high of #7 on the album chart.

In a year where, so far, new releases have been pretty lackluster, it's interesting to watch the rise of a bona fide pop star. And for all the stubborn GaGa haters out there, Madonna's gristle-corpse slumped over in the throne long ago. Get over it. Now GaGa's here to shove her stiletto heel through Madge's eye socket and fling the old hag into the trash compactor. Ta da!

That retooled song from Slumdog Millionaire, "Jai Ho!", flies like Clay Aiken with a pack of glitter-soaked firecrackers Scotch-taped to his lesbi-wig up from #100 to #15. The Pussycat Dolls are featured on the commercial single version now. They must've seen the word "Ho" was in the title, and, well...

Down at #37, Jesse McCartney proves with "How Do You Sleep?" that no matter how irrelevant you are, you can still slap a rapper onto your song—in this case, Ludacris–and have it chart.

Oh, I'm just kidding. I'd still give Jesse a pinch in the can. Oh, and look—it seems Darius Rucker is having another hit, with "It Won't Be Like This For Long" (#42). The lesson here would appear to be to never underestimate the magnetic draw of Hootie. Because he'll reinvent himself as a country singer and bang your grandma and your dad.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Right Round" - Flo Rida feat. Ke$ha *3 weeks*
2. "Dead And Gone" - T.I. feat. Justin Timberlake
3. "Poker Face" - Lady GaGa
4. "Kiss Me Thru The Phone" - Souljah Boy Tell 'Em feat. Sammie
5. "Gives You Hell" - The All-American Rejects
6. "Heartless" - Kanye West
7. "Just Dance" - Lady GaGa feat. Colby O'Donis
8. "Crack A Bottle" - Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent
9. "Love Story" - Taylor Swift
10. "My Life Would Suck Without You" - Kelly Clarkson

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  • At 2:01 PM, Blogger Joshua said…

    The charts are not nearly as exciting as this write-up. I'm sweating profusely from the pits after reading this.

  • At 2:08 PM, Blogger Brad said…

    OK, I totally love me some GaGa, and I have been with her since way before day one, and she does have some sick beats, and I love her music, and her delayed and prolonged chart success is well deserved.
    But don't try to kill her Madgesty off as long as she is selling out arenas in mere minutes (even after doubling shows), and has the top grossing tour of the year, somewhere on the order of a quarter of a BILLION fucking dollars. That's a B, as in bitches, so until then, you can suck it.
    Charts don't tell the complete story.
    Based on live performances I've seen Lady G do on various TV shows, she's primed for great stagecraft, but is not quite there yet.

  • At 4:05 PM, Blogger D'luv said…

    Brad, that's quite a passionate novella. I'm delighted that you took the bait, but hope you didn't burst a blood vessel in your forehead when you feverishly tapped this out.

    Joshua, I just had to put my love to the test and express myself.

  • At 5:17 PM, Blogger Brad said…

    This is semi-awkward, seeing another Brad posting.

    Anyway, just wanted to drop in and let you know that your post titles are still supreme. I can't help but chuckle everytime I see a new update.

    And then I die when it's about Gaga.

    <3 always,

  • At 6:01 PM, Blogger xolondon said…

    So that's two separate Brads?

    I was a bit suprised to see Brad (#1) claiming to love Gaga's music, which I have not noticed BradMuu (#2) ever say? Color me confused.

    Don't anoint Gaga that fast, Dluv. Madonna is 25 years into a career and Joanne Grannypants is 10 mos. in. I've said it before, but we have no clue whether Gaga has ANY depth at all. A necessary stardom ingredient. So far I have not seen it.

    BTW Gaga reallllly looks like Xtuna in that pic (although M looks like The Cryptkeeper).

  • At 7:16 PM, Anonymous paul said…

    So is it a man or a woman?

    I know it's not a singer or a dancer.

    I know it's a flash in the pan.

    But is it a man or a woman?

    It will look nice on that pile of dried up also-rans over in the corner....somewhere between Regina and Martika.

    Or should that be the pile with Baltimora and Taco?

  • At 8:44 PM, Blogger John said…

    I don't normally do the defense thing, but Paul, for whatever you think of her musically, it's pretty safe to say that GaGa has already sold more units in the US than Taco, Regina, Baltimora, Corina, Jaya, Cynthia and Alisha combined. Definitely pushing Martika territory, since she's already had more Top 5 hits on one record than Martika had on two.

    I feel dirty now.

  • At 8:59 PM, Blogger xolondon said…

    Just did a post on Rihanna tonight and it occurred to me that she is really who I view right now as the new pop superstar. She is not self made, but there is something deeper going on. I guess, for me, I want stars that can give me more than one feeling through their music.

  • At 10:00 PM, Blogger Mike said…

    Robbie, this post makes me want your D'Luv juice inside me.

    Lady G > Rotting Corpse = Fact!

    I love Lady Gaga. Who knows if she'll be in it for the long haul but she should be given a humanitarian award for making the pop charts (circa 2009) bearable.

  • At 2:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    as the cliche says " the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"

  • At 4:44 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    ooo i love a good gaga debate. I'm with Xo on this one, but i'd quite happily watch you pinch Jesse in the can D'luv, you sassy manvixen!!

  • At 7:19 AM, Blogger kaka said…

    are u crazy_????listen madonna is the queen.-she sells tickets in mere minutes.gaga will never do that.no one is better than madonna.no britney,no gaga.madonna last album confessions on a dance floor was a huge sucess.and her tour was even bigger,so dont celebrate cause madonna will do a huge album next time and her tour continues.u must be crazy when u say that.u can say that she is better than britney but better than madonna NEVER!!SHE WILL ALWAYS BE CALLING QUEEN OF POP.and GAGA ONLY DID AN ALBUM!!WHO SAYS THAT HER NEXT ALBUM WILL BE GOOD.MAYBE SHE IS ONE HIT WONDER.MADONAN WAS HUGE WHEN SHE STARTED AND HER TOURS ARE ALWAYS THE BEST THING.THERES NO ONE THAT IS BETTER THAN MADONNA NOW.FACE IT.SHE STILL KICKING ASS.

  • At 7:20 AM, Blogger kaka said…

    madonna 4ever my friend.she is like nbeatles and elvis.face it. gaga is nothing compares to madonna

  • At 9:41 AM, Blogger John said…

    And the genius of a D'luv post shines through, once again.

  • At 10:16 AM, Anonymous Fuckloads Of Diamonds said…

    Madge is a washed-up, dried-out husk that's about as relevant these days as a grease-stained novelty apron.

    She may sell concert tickets, but she couldn't GIVE her sour errr Hard Candy away and only made it, gasping, back on the charts by wrapping her gristly thighzzz around Timberland/lake and sucking 'em dry.

    Gaga=young and fresh forever!! Madonna's not fit to lick Gaga's disco stick, and if you don't agree, you have four minutes to siob a CryptKeeper-esque withered limb and Kabbalah bracelet up your sour and stale digifunky!

  • At 11:54 AM, Blogger Joshua said…

    D, can you PLEASE talk about Mariah in a somewhat non-positive way in your next post? Please??? I'd like to affirm that Mariah still has as rabid of fans

  • At 12:04 PM, Blogger D'luv said…

    The queen is dead, boys...

  • At 3:54 PM, Anonymous Johnny D said…

    To all the Madonna nuts who have come out of the woodwork, I think it's only fair to compare The Gaga first album, to Madonna's first album - both were a bit shallow but were pretty revolutionary for their time. There's no point comparing Gaga to the current Madonna, who although sells out concerts, but is pretty much at the end of her recording career - Hard Candy was pretty dismal, and only had one hit (Madonna straddling Timberlake). And her next album will be another greatest hits. By the time she relseases new material she'll probably be about 60.

    I am ready to give Gaga a shot (I love her attitude) but Madonna's no more that a rotting corpse still grasping the pop throne. I just wish someone would tell her to close her legs and put some pants on.

  • At 10:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lady Ga Ga is utter crap!! Ask that same very question in another 30 years, Madonna is sitting very firmly on her throne thanks, it'll take more tha a Madonna wannabe to remove her, the Spice Girls couldnt do it, Britney, Kylie and Xstina couldnt and neither will wannabe Ga Ga. Madonna's 11th studio album has sold more than her debut! I dont think Madonna will be losing sleep.

  • At 2:09 PM, Blogger chris said…

    i saw lady ga ga play here in san francisco in a small club called trannyshack. ga ga looked like a tranny................ no-body has been able to out do madonna. i don't think any new pop star could. madonna is more than just a pop singer, and no matter how much crap these wannabe's put out they will never measure up to her madgesty. anyone can get on the billboard charts ......shit look at kelly clarkson but only ICONS can stay there for 25 years, and still stay relevant in pop culture. madonna will probably reign unill the day she dies and then lordes will probably take over the throne. would'nt that be funny. i say good luck to "lady ga-ga" but don't quit your day job just yet.

  • At 5:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    LADY GAGA HAS SO MUCH MORE DEPTH THAN MADONNA! her songs are better, her tours are better and she has far more charisma and has pushed the boundaries way more in 2 years than madonna has in 25 years! take the telephone video, tht is a piece of pop art shining out against the crap out there, not seen since thriller by MJ, madonna never pulled anything like tht off! and she is SO NOT a wannabe! she is totally different in tpye of music, has more musical talent and her performances are so exciting! give Gaga 25 years and she will blast madonna right out of the water! cos shes finished, her latest albums were only bestsellers becos of hype b4 hand, lods of people sed tht since the millenium, shes lost tht magic touch and no longer seems inspirational, she shud stop now so people can remember her good days cos i sure as hell dont want another piece of rubbish like hard candy! (tht was just so commercial and cud have been anyone singing)

  • At 11:55 AM, Anonymous Lady Gaga Tickets said…

    Has anyone purchased Lady Gaga Tickets from the website http://lady-gaga-tickets.doitbigtickets.com/

  • At 11:12 PM, Anonymous horoscopo de hoy said…

    The charts are not nearly as exciting as this write-up. I'm sweating profusely from the pits after reading this.

  • At 2:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

  • At 6:28 PM, Anonymous mensajes claro said…

    But don't try to kill her Madgesty off as long as she is selling out arenas in mere minutes (even after doubling shows), and has the top grossing tour of the year, somewhere on the order of a quarter of a BILLION fucking dollars. That's a B, as in bitches, so until then, you can suck it.
    Charts don't tell the complete story.
    Based on live performances I've seen Lady G do on various TV shows, she's primed for great stagecraft, but is not quite there yet.

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