dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

For Every Good, There Is Pure Suck... Hence, The Black Eyed Peas

There are moments when thoughts of relentless violence flood my mind. Thoughts of rage paired with waves of fist-clenching anger. Glass- smashing, skin-ripping mania and gore.

Most of the time this is brought on by a dumb-as-fuck Black Eyed Peas song. (Not to be confused with all the deep, meaningful Black Eyed Peas songs.)

In fact, someone should take that ugly fucker from The Fray, duct tape his face to Will.I.Am's crotch and his hands to Fergie's hump bucket, then kick the three of them into a swimming pool full of Pirhana.

But only when she's singing "Boom Boom Pow." If Fergie's singing "Glamorous," she can live. 'Cause that's a damn fine jam.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Boom Boom Pow" - The Black Eyed Peas *1 week*
2. "Poker Face" - Lady GaGa
3. "Right Round" - Flo Rida feat. Kesha
4. "Kiss Me Thru The Phone" - Souljah Boy Tell 'Em feat. Sammie
5. "Blame It" - Jamie Foxx feat. T-Pain
6. "Dead And Gone" - T.I. feat. Justin Timberlake
7. "Day 'N' Nite" - Kid Cudi
8. "Gives You Hell" - The All-American Rejects
9. "You Found Me" - The Fray
10. "The Climb" - Miley Cyrus

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  • At 12:34 PM, Blogger John said…

    Can we swap Miley for Isaac? You'd be taking out both Miley AND Hannah in one shot.

  • At 12:58 PM, Blogger D'luv said…


  • At 3:36 PM, Anonymous Two Thousand And Late said…

    All hail The Duchess! Move over Madge and Gaga--the true queen of pop has returned! FERGILICIOUS, y'all!

  • At 4:58 PM, Blogger Joshua said…

    This is a horrid song... the BEP is better than this :(

  • At 2:11 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    happy easter! At least it would be happier if the black eyed peas hadn't returned :( Oh well. I suppose if Jesus can come back so can they :P

  • At 10:59 AM, Blogger Dame James Henry said…

    Wow, are those really the Top 10 songs in America? That is absolutely dreadful. "Poker Face" is the only good song of the bunch and that's by a long mile. No wonder all I'm listening to these days is British pop music.

    I'm normally a fan of the Black Eyed Peas but that new one has no musicality; it sounds like someone just threw up random vocals and beats and decided to call it a day.

  • At 10:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It would not matter if the BEP's sang outta their ass. It would still be better than that trash Industry you wrote about. Get a grip dude Industry are total rubbish and that singer sounds like a squashed bagpipe with a frog in his throat. Anymore auto tuner and his ass would be doing the singing. What happened to the band he was in a few months ago with Kyle Mark and Ben? Too many egos for Lee Hutton I think. Being the lesser singer in that line up would not have went down well with Lee Hutton's ego.
    Nuff said.

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