dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Lady GaGa Renders Christina Aguilera Irrelevant (Say Hi To Madonna, Christina!)

That old hag Madonna probably just threw her grizzled assistant through a window. Lady GaGa has landed her second #1 single on Billboard's Hot 100 chart with "Poker Face," making her the first artist to have their first two singles hit the top of the U.S. chart since Christina Aguilera, back in 1999.

So basically Lady just chewed both Madge and Xtina up for breakfast. But then she spit Madonna out because, well, no one really likes the taste of mothball-flavored whore, do they?

After the verbal harshing Aguilera gave to Lady GaGa last fall—a reaction to getting owned during an interview for copping GaGa's style—this feat has to be particularly stinging.

But don't feel bad because you haven't had a huge hit in seven years, Christina. Just watch Lady GaGa's performance from last night's American Idol and see how the much younger girls are doing it these days:



Oh, but I kid. I love like tolerate accept am resigned to have a few Madonna songs on my iPod. And, Christina...the hair's looking great?

Elsewhere on the chart, the Black Eyed Peas...yeah, I can't really even finish that sentence.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Poker Face" - Lady GaGa *1 week*
2. "Right Round" - Flo Rida feat. Kesha
3. "Kiss Me Thru The Phone" - Souljah Boy Tell 'Em feat. Sammie
4. "Dead And Gone" - T.I. feat. Justin Timberlake
5. "Blame It" - Jamie Foxx feat. T-Pain
6. "Gives You Hell" - The All-American Rejects
7. "My Life Would Suck Without You" - Kelly Clarkson
8. "The Climb" - Miley Cyrus
9. "Just Dance" - Lady GaGa feat. Colby O'Donis
10. "Love Sex Magic" - Ciara feat. Justin Timberlake

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35 Comments:

  • At 12:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i love it. i'll be it drives xtina even more crazy since she trashed gaga. madge has had a long run for an aging hooker that can barely hit a middle c note. aguilera has talent, but she is an annoying, ego-driven twat.

    gaga has pulled together an entire show, a theme, into her act, and she writes her own stuff, and can perform.

    sorry x-tina - cry your tears of anger into that bat boy husband's ears. Because to quote your fellow, washed up marmalade counterpart lil kim: "you ain't a star - and your record company KNOW it!"

     
  • At 6:49 PM, Anonymous Stale Candy said…

    "Madonna"? Wasn't that the name of some sort of ancient hag from Greek mythology?

     
  • At 9:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Enough with the Madonna trashing. Lady Gaga wouldn't be anywhere without her.

     
  • At 10:43 PM, Blogger Jump! said…

    No! Madonna is a nasty vinegar and floral smelling douche rag desperately trying to stay relevant. We should continue to hate on her until her next album. Or, until she is eaten by hyenas on an African safari. Whichever happens first.

     
  • At 11:18 PM, Anonymous oPaul said…

    Madonna 2009 is a gross, leathery child snatcher...but CaCa will never touch her legacy. Not even the whole Erotica era mess.

    Xtina will be around in twenty years doing the Barbra thing, and CaCa will be long forgotten.

    I feel like I've said this before, so shame on me...but I can't let delusional little balloons of happiness and admiration for CaCa pass by me unpopped.

    It's a weakness.

     
  • At 1:12 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    Good god. Still Can't Hold Me Down was quite nice.

     
  • At 4:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is just Lady Gagas turn to shine that's all..I like her tenacity, drive and spunk etc..excellent hooks too..One thing I have to point out is that if you have an experienced ear for music you can hear a some of Christina's sound here and their in some of the songs...i like them both..

     
  • At 4:51 AM, Blogger emme said…

    Lady GaGa = Trash

     
  • At 1:24 PM, Anonymous honey said…

    um...actually christina had 3 nr1 in a row...get ur facts straight

     
  • At 1:34 PM, Blogger D'luv said…

    Sorry to burst your bubble, HONEY, but Christina's 3rd single, "I Turn To You," only went to #3. Shoulda been #3 on the Bubbling Under chart.

     
  • At 3:06 PM, Anonymous oPaul said…

    Now tell me who stole their look again?

    http://www.tmz.com/2009/04/03/gaga-and-bunny-ladies/#comments

    (yes, I read trash. I suck)

     
  • At 10:32 PM, Blogger xolondon said…

    Call me when Joanne, or whatever the fuck her name is, sells 50 million records and wins ten Grammys and we'll talk about her being better than Xtuna.

    Gaga is a tabula rasa, pure and simple. And if you have to ask what that means, look it up children...

     
  • At 10:53 PM, Anonymous shanaynay lachild said…

    XO London - you sound like a condescending SNATCH. I'm in love.

     
  • At 7:21 PM, Anonymous I Flop To You said…

    How did "Back to Basics" sell, again, Honey? Oh, and "Keeps Getting Better" went to #1, right? Wake up and smell the WASHED-UP!

     
  • At 9:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lady Gaga's performance reaked of BenGay. I was at first into her, but she get's weirder faster than MJ. Now they call her Lady BlahBlah. (emphasis on the BlahBlah)

     
  • At 7:55 AM, Anonymous Storm said…

    i personally like all three and chances are lady gaga probably respects madonna. idk but from what i get she respects pretty much all musicians. thats the reason i like her. she's... a human being, a nice cool chick that you'd want to know. christina is sadly out of touch and her new look was a poor choice. plus those bitchy comments did her no favors. in any case gwen did the platinum blond straight fringe thing YEARS AGO.

    stop bagging and comparing all of these talented musicians. there is always going to be someone else to break previously held records. there will always be someone others think is better. don't imprison yourself with nostalgic memories of whats past. christina might make a comeback? madonna might continue doing what she loves? idk but idc. right now is lady gaga's moment. until someone else comes along. but as i will always love 'like a prayer', and 'genie in a bottle.' i will always love 'just dance.'

     
  • At 3:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    um christina's been around for 10 years. lets see where this lady is in 10 years. christina has how many #1 hits? you cant really compare the two, lady is just starting out and most people, like christina and obviously lady gaga, get lucky with their debut album and faded out afterwards (cyndi lauper). only time will tell whats in store for lady gaga, well just have to wait for her second album and see what happens.

     
  • At 12:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    like she was just singing in a karaoeke bar...nuff said!

     
  • At 4:46 AM, Anonymous OhxBeverly@aim.com said…

    Christina Aquilera has been singing on TV since she was YOUNG. Lady Gaga is a fad just like "D4L" or "Lil' Flip" if you can't remember who they are- they had hit songs too. People talk about Lady Gaga as if she's the next Mariah Carey or something. She's alright, but nothing special.

     
  • At 3:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lady Gag me has a bit of work to do to be in the same sentence as Madonna or Christina. Yes she has had 3 hit songs, however her album has not even gone platinum. Record companies don't like keeping artists that don't make them money. Christina, Madonna, Britney have all sold millions of albums. How can you compare Gag me to artists who have accomplished so much. Once Gag me finally has a hit record and not just hit singles then maybe we can start saying she has made it. Sure she may be different, but people don't seem to want to spend money on her. It means she does not sell well. This means she will be irrelevant once she starts to get older. Even right now she is fugly. Hot body, but that face is one that only a mother could love. Wig, fake eyelas, nose job, painted on makeup. Not a natural person i guess. Without all that stuff that akes her look semi decent, she looks plain. By the way why do you think Justin timberlake and all these other celebrities poke fun at her mediocre and butterface? They all realise that she is a joke. I know it is superficial to judge her based on her looks, but if she is marketing herself as a hot girl, then she needs to look the part. She does not. A guy friend of mine asked me like a month ago if this woman was actually a woman. He wasn't joking. He was genuinely curious. He thought that a drag queen had been given a record contract. He was shocked when I informed him that she indeed was a woman. He said, I guess you just can't tell with all that fake stuff on her

     
  • At 3:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Xtina, Madonna, Gwen stefani, Rihanna, Britney, Beyonce, etc..... All of these stars have one thing in common. Multiple platinum selling records. Ldy Gaga does not even have one super hit album. Madonna had sold over 200 million albums, Britney has sold over 80 million, Xtina over 50. These women have shown what success is. Even if you don't like them nobody can take away their success. Lady Gaga is not in the same category as any of these women . Maybe one day she will be, but right now she is not as bankable as any leading artist. All of these incfredible divas can laugh at this comparing trash, because they all know the truth. Unless Gaga can start making platinum records, her label won't stick with her for long. Look at how many artists are hot one moment and then gone the next. It is a hard industry.
    Xtina irrelevant? I guess all those platinum certifications hanging on her walls mean nothing. Even if that girl does nothing for the rest of her life, at this point she has done a hell of a lot more than Gaga.

     
  • At 4:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sorry I meant Madonna has sold over 100 million albums. Still a crazy amount.

     
  • At 4:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I know this agent in the entertainment industry. He is kind of a man whore who is extremely permiscuous. He met Lady Gaga through mutual contacts. He had heard that she would have sex with anyone who would help her move up in her career, so he told her he would help her make it big. Keep in mind this was a couple of years back when she was trying to land a deal with labels. She jumped at the chance to sleep with this guy. He told me that her body was hot and that it was her unique style that drew him to her. However, when he finally started fooling around with her, he said that her vagina smelt like yeast and that it looked like she had an outbreak of something around her vag. He was so freaked out that he made a lame excuse up and left right there. To this day he thinks it is the funniest thing that all these people think she is so great. If they only knew what was really going on under her panties, then nobody would go near her.The point of this post is that even this guy who is in to as much sex as possible, ran away when he saw what he was in for.

     
  • At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    lol..... Herpess? Yeast infection? Yummy! Sounds like a fun time. I'm just shocked that there is actually a vagina under those panties. I was positive the guy was going to find a dick taped to her leg or something.

     
  • At 6:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I love how the Black Eyed Peas had two Number 1 hits right after you wrote this...

     
  • At 10:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Gaga who? Love Madonna and Britney, but Christina is my favorite and the absolute best. She has the Perfect body, Perfect voice, Perfect charisma! Xtina is the best after Madonna for sure.

     
  • At 3:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    There is nothing special about Lady Gaga. She is just a Xtina-Madge wannabe. We'll see where Gaga is in 10 years.

    I love CHRISTINA and MADONNA - THE BEST!!!

     
  • At 5:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    gaga wishes she was christina or madonna but haha not going to happen shemale

     
  • At 4:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I dislike Lady Gaga but I love Madonna and I LOVE Christina!

     
  • At 4:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lady Gaga = The poor man's Xtina

     
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