dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

3OH!3 Kinda S-U-C-K

Why do all these post-emo kids sing like they need punched in the mouth or their tongues ripped out with rusty pliers?

The latest charming twosome to incite the ire D'luv is 3OH!3, with their hit "Don't Trust Me." It's playing everywhere, folks; the car driving past you and splashing muddy water on your new vinyl miniskirt. The alley behind K-Mart where little Johnny's playing doctor with his sister...again. At Target, while you're picking up the pill at the pharmacy.

It came on the other day when a friend and I were at Java Detour (free wireless, y'all!), and I was all, "I don't like this song," and he was all, "Did they just say, 'Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips'?" And I was all, "Yeah," and he was like, "Classy."

These two look like the type to shove your toothbrush up their asses as a practical joke. But, they'd leave it up their a few seconds too long, because, well, sometimes fluoride just feels nice.

Resistance is apparently futile, however, as these Boulder-based dorks have jumped into the Top 10 of Billboard's Hot 100 this week with "Don't Trust Me," at #9. Chalk them up to being the new Hellogoodbye. And whatever happened to them?

Well, I'll tell you, dammit! Last year their keyboardist and their drummer left the band. Not good. More like good-bye. As in hello, goodbye. Get it? Because their name is, like...

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Boom Boom Pow" - The Black Eyed Peas *5 weeks*
2. "Blame It" - Jamie Foxx feat. T-Pain
3. "Poker Face" - Lady GaGa
4. "Day 'N' Nite" - Kid Cudi
5 "Sugar" - Flo Rida feat. Wynter
6. "Right Round" - Flo Rida feat. Kesha
7. "Kiss Me Thru The Phone" - Souljah Boy Tell 'Em feat. Sammie
8. "Halo" - Beyonce
9. "Don't Trust Me" - 3OH!3
10. "Dead And Gone" - T.I. feat. Justin Timberlake

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