dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Lady GaGa: 4, Madonna: 0

Lady GaGa covers Rolling Stone's new issue, and the mag labels her "the defining pop star of the year." In other words, rejoice, children—we'll never have to worry about seeing Madonna's rotting carcass on the cover of that rag again!

Now, in case you're wondering about the scoring in the title this post, I'm going by Lady GaGa's three major hits this year. Her latest, "LoveGame," climbs up five positions to #22 this week on Billboard's Hot 100 chart. I'm also throwing in the magazine cover.

There's a bunch of other garbage going on, like a combo of nine tracks debuting between American Idol's Kris Allen and Adam Lambert—including Kris' official winner's song "No Boundaries" at #11. Shit song, hot mouth.

Cathy Dennis co-wrote that atrocity, which gives her two American hits in the past year, including Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl."

And speaking of the latter broad, her latest "Waking Up In Vegas" moves up to #10, giving her a third U.S. Top 10 single. Meanwhile, Rob Thomas debuts waaay down at #42 with brand new song "Her Diamonds."

Close, but no cigar, dude. But give Madge a kiss for us!

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Boom Boom Pow" - The Black Eyed Peas *8 weeks*
2. "Poker Face" - Lady GaGa
3. "Blame It" - Jamie Foxx feat. T-Pain
4. "Don't Stop Believin'" - Glee Cast *new*
5. "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)" - Pitbull
6. "New Divide" - Linkin Park *new*
7. "Day 'N' Nite" - Kid Cudi
8. "Halo" - Beyonce
9. "Birthday Sex" - Jeremih
10. "Waking Up In Vegas" - Katy Perry

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29 Comments:

  • At 5:22 PM, Blogger xolondon said…

    Bette Midler needs to cover her saggy titties.

     
  • At 8:18 PM, Blogger Ronan said…

    Dear Beyonce,

    Please strangle yourself with that Halo you keep screeching about.

    Hearts and stars,
    Ronan

    P.S. Lady Gaga, I want your disco stick

     
  • At 9:25 PM, Blogger Justin said…

    I'm not going to freak out on your anti-Madge comments like some other people have, but seriously, do you really think she's a rotting carcass? Yes, her recent albums pale in comparison to her golden years, but...are you forgetting who you're talking about? Respect your elders (and Queens of Pop), that's all I'm saying. I just don't get the hatred...

     
  • At 9:53 PM, Blogger JimmyD said…

    xolondon: What does Bette Midler have to do with this post?
    Ronan: Same question except replace Bette Midler with Beyonce...
    Justin: Maybe if she had spent the last 30 years learning to sing rather than figuring out how to be Queen of the Media Whores she wouldn't be under constant fire. She once said she wanted to be more famous than God. Fame comes with a price. Especially if that fame is attached to a talent free trollop. And she is a rotting carcass... check out her arms and face in any/all of the unPhotoshopped pics that litter the internet. She's 50, playing at being 20. She's had so much work done that she's on her way to being the new Michael Jackson.
    AND! I hope Chart Rigger continues to bash her. I find it entertaining. You can sing her praises on YOUR BLOG!
    Just sayin'...

     
  • At 12:06 AM, Blogger daavid said…

    I don't think Madonna has ever looked as bad as the Gaga looks in that photo.

     
  • At 12:46 AM, OpenID solray9 said…

    Oh, God. That picture- why?? She is hideous. I keep trying to tell myself she's not that unattractive- there are different kinds of beauty; I can appreciate a strong nose, etc., but shit! She looks like my 88-year-old incapacitated grandmother before she died and after she'd lost most of her teeth. I'd rather look at a picture of Madonna in 10 years than...this. They're both Italian too, so it's a shame.

     
  • At 1:34 AM, Anonymous Dennis said…

    Your anti-madonna comments stop being funny when EVERY post has one.
    And she looks terrible in that cover, like she just had a stroke.

     
  • At 3:07 AM, Blogger Catty said…

    Hey, lookit that! Dale Bozzio finally made the cover of Rolling Stone. Well done Dale.

     
  • At 6:32 AM, Blogger paulb said…

    Have to say Robbie; I'm also tiring of your incessant attacks on Madonna. I do find your writing witty and amusing, but I wonder if there is some reason for your constant attacks on Madge - Did she run over your foot or something at a signing? I've noticed she often has appeared in your LastFM current tracks list; even stuff from Hard Candy which I wasn't so keen on - So you seem to like the music. And while that doesn't mean you have to like the person.....maybe you could give the attacks a break from time to time. Cheers, Paul (UK)

     
  • At 8:33 AM, Blogger D'luv said…

    I have seen the err of my ways, and shall not mention Madonna again...in May.

     
  • At 8:57 AM, Blogger xolondon said…

    D'luv is baiting you (versus, you know, bating you). Fall for it or not.

    JimmyD, petal, if I have to explain my Bette Midler comment, then you are too young or clueless to get it. Maybe you ought to update your blog? I think D'luv can defend himself...

     
  • At 8:58 AM, Anonymous mobius said…

    I wonder if there's a strategy behind the design of the Pop Idol winner's sleeves. The cover of the German winner looks very much alike.
    Daniel's (the German winner) sleeve incidentally reminds me of the pics Brian Aris did for several Bucks Fizz sleeves.

    http://twitpic.com/64t25

     
  • At 11:33 AM, Blogger JimmyD said…

    xolondon: I merely asked because Bette was not a part of the post in which you commented on. As for my age? I was there when Madonna was fun and kind of new (she was never truly new). I was cheering Bette years before the wind was beneath her wings (a song that makes me gag).
    Your Midler comment seemed to come out of nowhere and serve no purpose.
    I may be mistaken. It's been YEARS since Bette played the hussy role. When was the last time Bette flaunted her fun bags?

     
  • At 11:44 AM, Anonymous Ronan said…

    JimmyD: I loathe that song, and I noticed it's still lingering in the top 10...hence the comment. Never understood her appeal.

     
  • At 11:58 AM, Blogger JimmyD said…

    'Wind' was when Bette was owned by Disney. Years of stuff like that. It was also around then when she toned herself down, partly because of the Disney contract, partly because of her daughter.
    People can like her or not but she's never put herself out front in the media by pulling stunts. I use to LOVE Bette. I haven't bought an album of hers in years. If you want to see what makes Midler a star, check out 'The Rose.'
    She also will be the first to poke fun at herself!

     
  • At 12:49 PM, Blogger Shane Lear said…

    Lady Gaga's great and all, but she's nowhere near close to matching Madonna in any way shape or form. That ugly-ass puss on her is going to really stand in her way. She's not the prettiest pig in the pen.

     
  • At 1:08 PM, Blogger Paul said…

    oh xo, your comment and subsequent comment made me laugh so much :) DLuv you surely must know by now that gaga repulses me. Please stop showing off her airbrushed "23" year old body :) And mark my words in ten years time you will have a post saying "Lourdes 4, lady gaga 0"...

     
  • At 3:00 PM, Blogger Joshua said…

    To ruin the joke:

    Lady Gaga looks like Bette Midler in the Rolling Stones cover.

    See how unfunny that became??? :(

     
  • At 5:56 PM, Blogger xolondon said…

    These women (Bette, Madonna, Bowie...) have spent years and years showing us who they are and, in the process, who WE are. Miss Joanne has a long way to go. Maybe she'll do it, maybe she won't.

     
  • At 12:53 PM, Anonymous oPaul said…

    It's actually funnier when you get the joke and you don't explain it to the person who doesn't. Even if it's everyone else.

     
  • At 8:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I better not hear anyone else knock Beyonce. She easily has one of the best voices in entertainment. Booyah.

     
  • At 7:50 PM, Anonymous Reality said…

    Who's Beyonce? What's a Madge?

    VIVA LA GAGA!!!!

     
  • At 3:44 AM, Anonymous Christophe, France said…

    Glad to see other people reading this blog failed to see the sense of humour in constantly slagging off Madonna. Funny also never a bad comment or a joke about Mariah Carey , who was this week in teh Cannes Film Festival in France with a STEP Watcher telling her STEP each time she went up or down some stairs to avoid her from looking down.
    So That 's truely DIVA like behaviour, for someone who only managed to get hits in the United States for the last 10 years, but flops anywhere else!!! Oh yeah , but I forgot America has better taste than Europe for example , where we all still give MAdonna numbers 1s. .....Do you see the joke???? LOL ....NUFF SAID

     
  • At 9:25 PM, Blogger will said…

    Screw "Don't Stop Believin'" .. I want the competing Glee Club's version of "Rehab"! hahaha

     
  • At 8:57 PM, Blogger roxy said…

    MADONNA WILL BE THE QUEEN OF POP EVEN AFTER DEATH (and rotting-retirement).

     
  • At 9:57 AM, Anonymous Lady Gaga Tickets said…

    Has anyone purchased Lady Gaga Tickets from the website http://lady-gaga-tickets.doitbigtickets.com/

     
  • At 1:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

  • At 1:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

  • At 1:15 PM, Blogger shle896 said…

    Gaga reminds me of KISS and their ridiculous stupid-ass makeup and outfits. It's nothing but a very temporary and dated novelty.

    One number one album and two years of blatantly blatantly copying Madonna, does not a new Madonna make.

     

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