dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Maybe Jordin Sparks' New Album Would Sell If She Chucked Her Purity Ring For A Thong?

While on one hand Jordin Sparks can celebrate the fact that her long-languishing single “Battlefield” has at last charged into the Top 10 of Billboard’s Hot 100 like a pissed-off hooker breaking into her pimp’s house and raiding all the loot from under the mattress, her full LP also dropped last week, and lands on the album chart at a disappointing #7, with only 48,000 copies sold.

But it’s not all despair for the ladies of pop. While Mariah Carey’s “Obsessed” slid down from #11 to #20 on last week’s Hot 100, this week the song claws its way back up to #17. Never let it be said that a shit Mimi single goes quietly into the night. There’s at least usually some howling, growling and a whole lot of butterfly-octave screeching going on.

Another groovy track making miniscule gains is Green Day’s “21 Guns,” which moves up one to #26. To be honest, “21 Guns” is basically “Boulevard Of Broken Dreams—Part 2,” but that’s not really a bad thing in my classy book.

And then we have the Ting Tings, who finally eke their way into the Top 40 with “That’s Not My Name” (at #39) after a full year of hanging around, bubbling under and bobbing up and down like Clive Davis at a frat party wearing Whitney’s wig.

Don’t call me Susan.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "I Gotta Feeling" - The Black Eyed Peas *5 weeks*
2. "Best I Ever Had" - Drake
3. "Knock You Down" - Keri Hilson feat. Kanye West & Ne-Yo
4. "You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift
5. "Use Somebody" Kings Of Leon
6. "Fire Burning" - Sean Kingston
7. "Boom Boom Pow" - The Black Eyed Peas
8. "LoveGame”" - Lady Gaga
9. "Waking Up In Vegas" - Katy Perry
10. "Battlefield" - Jordin Sparks

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  • At 5:57 PM, Blogger Pure J.Me said…

    Jordin's BATTLEFIELD album is my favorite so far this year. It's filled with so many tasty pop songs. Her cover of Fefe Dobson's "Don't Let It Go To Your Head" is balls to the wall killer, and "S.O.S. (Let The Music Play)", while a rip off of Rihanna's similarly titled jam, is maddeningly catchy.

  • At 10:47 PM, Anonymous The Wicked Truth said…

    Jordin Sparks's album, career and existence is a DOA POS.

    "Battlefie---" BANG

  • At 3:22 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    i chucked my (mormon) purity ring away, and look at me now world :P

  • At 10:59 AM, Blogger Mike said…

    Yay for BEP, Taylor and Katy. The other cunts can fuck right off!

  • At 11:12 AM, Anonymous shanaynay lachild said…

    jordin sparks is proof that black people can be boring.

  • At 3:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Perfect headline on Jordon. Not to be a gusher, but I saw Malina Moye in concert with Robin Thicke and she blew me away (female prince). Now that's NOT a boring black woman. found a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojC8Re59TzA

    good blog, I'll be back.

  • At 8:43 AM, Blogger Moogaboo said…

    "(...)bobbing up and down like Clive Davis at a frat party wearing Whitney’s wig."

    Oh dear. I need to take the rest of the week off to recover from that imagery...


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