dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Must... Resist... Shitty New... Cascada.. Single...

Like a persistent, nettlesome sewer rat constantly gnawing at my mind, Cascada's derivative new jam "Evacuate The Dancefloor" has been creeping into my soul and forcing me to tolerate it. This week it causes La Roux to evacuate the #1 position on the U.K. chart, taking over Ol' Blighty and become the German dance act's first chart-topper there, and fifth overall Top 10 hit.

Here's the video for the Lady Gaga-copping tune, which was reviewed two weeks back by yours truly and a gaggle of other unruly music bloggers on Pop Trash Addict's Pop Panel:

Elsewhere, keeping up with last week's infiltration of old Michael Jackson songs, no less than 13 of them appear in the new Top 40—including "Man In The Mirror" (#2), "Billie Jean" (#10), "Thriller" (#12), "Smooth Criminal" (#13) and "Beat It" (#19).

On the album chart, five of the positions are owned by the Eeeeh-heeeeee!-squealing singer, and Number Ones is swapped out at the top for The Essential Michael Jackson.

On a final note, Florence And The Machine's "Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)" drops to #18 after initially peaking at #12. Florence seems highly-regarded amongst the music crowd, though as I wrote elsewhere about this broad, I can't help feeling that Tori Amos wants her pussy back.

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "Evacuate The Dancefloor" - Cascada *1 week*
2. "Man In The Mirror" - Michael Jackson
3. "Bulletproof" - La Roux
4. "When Love Takes Over" - David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland
5. "Paparazzi" - Lady Gaga
6. "Boom Boom Pow" - Black Eyed Peas
7. "Release Me" - Agnes
8. "Knock You Down" - Keri Hilson feat. Kanye West & Ne-Yo
9. "Mama Do" - Pixie Lott
10. "Billie Jean" - Michael Jackson

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  • At 3:32 PM, Blogger James said…

    No Cascada! Your music is generic, predictable, tedious and untalented. Michael Jackon on the other hand....


  • At 5:30 PM, Blogger Paul said…

    I still mourning Industry's drop, but i have to say, I tolerate Cascada. It's not quite as earbleeding as it should be. And i don't think some of the songs would have dropped as far this week if it wasn't for the MJ invasion...

  • At 8:34 PM, Blogger Mike said…

    Cascada is usually too trashy - even for me- but I think "Evacuate The Dancefloor" is a lot of fun, even if it ruthlessly steals from "Just Dance".

    As for Flo & The Machine, I can't decide either way. I like "Rabbit Heart" but I find her talent doesn't quite match the hype.

  • At 10:27 PM, Blogger Dan said…

    Re: Evacuate the Dancefloor. As Barbara Mandrell might say, if loving it is wrong, I don't wanna be right. I'm just glad it's not yet ANOTHER high-NRG cover of a song that didn't need to be covered that way.

    And besides it makes me think of that scene in Star Wars when Tarkin say "Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances."

  • At 10:53 PM, Anonymous Everytime We Fuck said…

    You know what the hottest, spiciest, zexiest underrated jam EVER was? "Jellyhead" by Crush.

  • At 3:02 PM, Blogger undisco_me said…

    Jellyhead (the Motiv8 edit) was showing Bananarama how good they could have been in the late 90s.

    Evacuate The Dancefloor doesn't make sense to me. Has her water broke? Has Kelly Llorenna turned up? The verses are stodgy and sound like trapped wind that's ready to blow, but the bottomless chorus brings back 1993 rather than stampede/chaffe over Just Dance. It might give you an STD just listening to it, but 'stop this beat is killing me' understands the torment.

  • At 2:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lady Gaga should not be mentioned in the same breath as this tripe. Cascada is scheizer.

  • At 8:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    if this song played, I WOULD evacuate the dancefloor, so I guess it works at any rate.

  • At 6:05 PM, Anonymous Lady Gaga Tickets said…

    Has anyone purchased Lady Gaga Tickets from the website http://lady-gaga-tickets.doitbigtickets.com/


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