dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Back When Those Two Guys From allSTARS* Had Really Hot Mouths

The U.K. chart is a bit too Dizzee Rascal for my tastes this week, so let's instead take a moment to remember the stellar talents of completely manufactured British boy/girl group, allSTARS*!

Most known for a.) being S Club 7 knockoffs with their own kiddie TV series from 2001 to 2002 called STARstreet, b.) their fair-to-middling cover of Duran Duran's "Is There Something I Should Know" and c.) landing their cover of Bucks Fizz's pop masterpiece "Land Of Make Believe" in the U.K. Top 10, this teen fivepiece band actually had two damn fine jams on their lone, self-titled album.

First up was their fourth nail-in-the-coffin single, "Back When." Penned by Cathy Dennis and produced by the guys from Metro, "Back When" only scraped its way to #19 in spring '02, and sealed the fate of the soon-to-be disbanded group.

But while I always found the idea of these youngsters rubbing and fondling themselves like adolescent porn stars in the vid kinda creepy, "Back When" was nevertheless their standout single.



And short-cropped Ashley Taylor Dawson grew up and turned into this...

...so now I feel completely justified for having all those naughty thoughts over his 19-year-old self seven years ago.

Anyway, the other rad track off the allSTARS* album was "Love Is," also written and produced by Metro. I maintain all these years later that it's one of this past decade's "should have been a single" pop songs.

Who knows—were it given a chance to be foisted on the public, "Love Is" might have garnered allSTARS* a stay of execution, at least for one more album.

Well, then again, maybe only if it were released in the land of make believe.

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "Holiday" - Dizzee Rascal *1 week*
2. "Sexy Bitch" - David Guetta feat. Akon
3. "I Gotta Feeling" - The Black Eyed Peas
4. "Ready For The Weekend" - Calvin Harris
5. "Never Leave You" - Tinchy Stryder feat. Amelle
6. "Remedy" - Little Boots
7. "Sweet Dreams" - Beyonce
8. "Outta Here" - Esmee Denters
9. "Supernova" - Mr Hudson feat. Kanye West
10. "That Golden Rule" - Biffy Clyro

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