dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Mariah Carey Claws Her Way To The Middle As Miley Cyrus Fails To F-Up The Peas' Mojo

Damn you, Miley Cyrus! We were all counting on you to wrap your teen thighs around the Black Eyed Peas and drag them down from the top of the chart this week—or, at the very least, wrap your thighs around Fergie's head and claw her boobs off. Glamorous!

Alas, in light of Hannah Montana's failure, BEP have now spent a total of 20 consecutive weeks at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100—between the 12-week reign of "Boom Boom Pow"and the eight-week one of "I Gotta Feeling"—which is some new kind of record too horrendous to even fathom or continue writing about here. Miley's "Party In The U.S.A." debuts at #2.

Rihanna is featured on Jay-Z's "Run This Town, which is up to #3. This now gives that broad a total of 11 singles that have made the Top 10.

Elsewhere, Mariah Carey finally manages to drag "Obsessed" back up to #11, where it previously debuted and peaked at six weeks ago. Just...one...more...position...to go...Mimi!

Going way down (no doubt a specialty of this next artist) the chart, Natalie Horler and German dance outfit Cascada enter at #80 with their European hit "Evacuate The Dancefloor." It's Cascada's third appearance on the Hot 100, following "Everytime We Touch" (#10) and "What Hurts The Most" (#52). Incidentally, it's about the thirty-third single to rip off Lady GaGa this year.

And finally, in at #90, comes Britney Spears' "Radar." Who thought releasing this as a single was a good idea, over Circus fan favorites like "Unusual You" or "Shattered Glass"? "Radar" was originally on BriXXXney's 2007 album Blackout, for God's sake, then tacked onto Circus as a bonus track. In other words, it's been banged hard and thrown in a dumpster already—much like Britney herself.

Oh, okay, that was mean. Britney was probably at least thrown into the recycle bin after she was poked.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "I Gotta Feeling" - The Black Eyed Peas *8 weeks*
2. "Party In The U.S.A." - Miley Cyrus *new*
3. "Run This Town" - Jay-Z feat. Rihanna and Kanye West
4. "You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift
5. "Use Somebody" - Kings Of Leon
6. "Best I Ever Had" - Drake
7. "Down" - Jay Sean feat. Lil Wayne
8. "Knock You Down" - Keri Hilson feat. Kanye West & Ne-Yo
9. "Good Girls Go Bad" - Cobra Starship feat. Leighton Meester
10. "Hotel Room Service" - Pitbull

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