dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Madonna's New Single Is A Hit Somewhere!

Well, after an annoying week+ without my poor laptop—an iBook G4 I've had since 2004, which finally kicked the bucket—I finally bit the bullet and picked up a brand new MacBook Pro yesterday. This means less erratic posting on the fly from myself.

Anyway, not too much going on with the U.K. chart this week. If you're a Taio Cruz fan, of course, you've got cause to jam a pack of firecrackers down your pants and blast off.

Also, Madonna's "Celebration" is finally a hit somewhere! It goes in at #3. And here's a pic I took around the corner from Chez D'luv, outside a printing company:

I walked in and requested that they replace that image with something a little less traffic-stopping. You know, like Lady GaGa.

Shakira's "She Wolf," which has grown to be my second biggest guilty pleasure in recent months—behind Miley Cyrus' "Party In The U.S.A."—cracks the Top 10 at #5. And hoo-ray for Mini Viva for sticking around another week in the upper reaches with the über-D'luvvly "Left My Heart In Tokyo." Konichiwa, bitches.

Meanwhile, still no official word on what the F is going on with the latest in the tumultuous Sugababes saga. Their latest, "Get Sexy," drops to #10.

Finally, Paloma Faith, the latest low-grade Amy Winehouse knockoff to wander out of the hooker coop, debuts at #21 with her dirge, "New York."

I think Paloma really needs to just lighten up and stick two Barbie doll legs up her ham bucket. Life in plastic, after all...

P.S. Boo-hoo to Bananarama not even charting in the Top 75 albums with Viva.

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "Break Your Heart" - Taio Cruz *1 week*
2. "Sexy Bitch" - David Guetta feat. Akon
3. "Celebration" - Madonna *new*
4. "Run This Town" - Jay-Z feat. Rihanna & Kanye West
5. "She Wolf" - Shakira *new*
6. "Boys & Girls" - Pixie Lot
7. "I Gotta Feeling" - The Black Eyed Peas
8. "Holiday" - Dizzee Rascal
9. "Left My Heart In Tokyo" - Mini Viva
10. "Get Sexy" - Sugababes

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  • At 3:13 PM, Anonymous Christophe said…

    Sorry to dissapoint you...but CELEBRATION is a hit in many more countries ( Netherlands, Germany , Italy...). The only country where it is not a Hit, is actually the USA!! Oh what a surprise...Actually this is not quite true, as she smashed with CELEBRATON her own records, in the DANCE CHARTS and CLUB PLAY CHARTS. But you never mentioned this !!!..or did I miss this ?

  • At 3:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm sure Robbie is "dissapointed" [sic]

  • At 3:21 PM, Anonymous shanaynay lachild said…

    maybe Madge's deal with the devil expires country by cunt-ry. much like her 80s case of crabs, it will start here and SPREAD.

  • At 5:54 PM, Blogger Kenneth Walsh said…

    Meow, Todd! (How do I get a tennis brother to stick up for me once in a while?!!!)

  • At 6:04 PM, Anonymous Pranav said…

    "Break your heart" by Taio Cruz is my latest guilty pleasure so I am thrilled that it topped the UK singles charts.

  • At 7:05 PM, Blogger xolondon said…

    One time at band camp I stuck a D'luv doll up my ham bucket.

  • At 9:49 PM, Blogger D'luv said…

    Christophe, look, don't get me wrong. I like "Celebration," and even wrote this in the Madonna banterview last month (which I'm hurt you didn't comment on: "I feel like "Celebration"—trite as it is, lyrically—is a true return to The Real Madonna." But did I mention her smashing records on the club charts? No, I don't believe so. But I did mention she looks like a microwaved corpse. Does that count?

    TN, cue up Electronic! I wonder if he MEANT to spell it like "diss"?

    Shanaynay, oh, crabs...that gets me nostalgic for college.

    KW, get your own bloggyguard!

    Pranav, you wicked little tart!

    XO, ...and never again 'twas to return.

  • At 10:10 PM, Blogger Poster Girl said…

    I LOVE "Break Your Heart." Apparently so much that I'm commenting about it everywhere. Bonus points for the UK for Mini Viva still sticking around and for that David Guetta song being a hit there (plus a few added points for "She Wolf" and "I Gotta Feeling," but we've got those here, too).

  • At 11:29 PM, Anonymous Microwaved Corpse said…

    Shakira's America's Got Talent performance of "She-Wolf" killed my love of that song...although the fact that I even saw it, sober, means I should jam a copy of Hard Candy up my vagina.

    Speaking of The Creature, everyone knows that the Dance/Club Play charts are written in glowstick on an OD'd twink's ass.

    And that, my dearz, doesn't translate into true "hit." Just ask Kristine W! You can find her pulling a double-shift at your local carwash.

  • At 11:36 PM, Blogger D'luv said…

    The previous comment is why I get out of bed each day.

  • At 11:37 PM, Blogger Mike said…

    I actually think #3 is pretty poor for Madonna in the UK. New singles from a new album are usually a certain #1 and this position basically sums up how bored everyone is with her latest Dannii rip off. Time for the old cunt to ditch the chicken cutlets and beg Stuart Price to take her back.

  • At 4:14 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    Ah i love it when the commonpotaters come out to defend their idols. So entertaining. Basically, I don't think Taio Cruz is a number one song, although it's quite nice. Party In The USA is brilliant however - why I keep forgetting it exists is beyond me!!

    I wonder if Mini Viva would be charting so high if there were a new Girls Aloud record on the horizon? It's not that I don't like MV - i do, a lot - but everytime it comes on, I do think it's a Girls Aloud album track!

  • At 9:31 AM, Blogger Shane Lear said…

    What a joke that "Celebration" can't even get played (except in dance clubs of course)in the states. Over here if it isn't rap or hip-hop, fat chance it will ever get played on the radio. I keep my car stereo well stocked with cd's for fear my ears will bleed out if I dare to turn the radio on. Ridiculous!

  • At 10:54 AM, Anonymous shaun said…

    I am seriously starting to wonder re "Party in the USA"...what am I missing here? Every time I hear it, all I can think is "is this a novelty record or the theme song of a Nick Jr. show"? I'm not even a Miley-hater...I secretly dig "The Climb"...

  • At 10:34 PM, Blogger Moogaboo said…

    Nothing cheers me up like a good run through the CR comments...

    Re: the club charts: to quote something D'Luv said the last time I saw him, "How does Kristina W. EAT?"

  • At 3:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The charity 'Raising Malawi' (PR firm) founded by Madonna AND TWO OTHERS over three years ago held fund raisers for over two years before finally getting registered as a non-profit. In other words, Madonna and the others were free to squander the lion's share of that funding any way they saw fit for those first two years. In fact, they still havn't accounted for the 3.7 million raised from a single event in the fall of '07' (The opening of a Gucci flagship store in Manhattan.). She also pleaded with her fans worldwide for donations along the way. In the meantime, she toured the world to promote her latest CD and raked in another $280,000,000 gross in just over 12 months. To date, the basic financial info for 'Rasing Malawi' still hasn't been posted on the website or anywhere else. The 'progress' page only tells of the collective works by over 20 seperate charities. Each of which have their own sources of funding and may have recieved some sort of promotion or support from 'Raising Malawi' in order to be considered 'partners'. But no indication is made how much of their funding came from 'Raising Malawi' or how much of their progress if any could be directly attributed to 'Raising Malawi'. The fans/donors have no clue how many millions of dollars were raised in that first two years, no clue how much Madonna herself chipped in, and no clue how the money was spent before they finally registered as a non-profit. No clue what fraction of funding or works listed on that 'progress' page could be directly attributed to 'Raising Malawi'. Nothing to go on but the vague word of Madonna. The vague and very misleading word of Madonna. For example: She states in her latest promotional video that she will match any contributions made to her charity (PR firm) "dollar for dollar". However, there is a disclaimer posted on the website for 'Raising Malawi' that Madonna's total contribution will not exceed $100,000. Thats not per donation. Thats a maximum of $100,000 TOTAL. Less than a single days pay for Madonna. Also much less then she will surely rake in by promoting her own CDs, DVDs, and 'for profit' merchandise through this massive worldwide publicity stunt. So I called the office of 'Raising Malawi' in an attempt to verify some sort of efficient financial operation (310) 867-2881 or (888) 72-DONOR). These details are ALWAYS made available by legitimate charities to their potential donors. But not in this case. I got nothing but recorded messages and hangups. So I did some research on my own. 'Rasing Malawi' still hasn't been given any kind of rating by ANY independent charity watchdog like Charitywatch.org. The vast overwhelming majority of 'celebrity' foundations never are. In general, they are inneficient and riddled with corruption. Like the promotion of CDs, world tours, commercial websites, entire lines of jewelry (not just the single piece from which proceeds are donated), and high end fashion retail flagship stores. Celebrity foundations are also notorious for squandering much of their funding on private jet rides and super high end accomodations for their managers, PR crews, and celebrity figure heads. Its legal even for a nonprofit but not noble or efficient by any stretch of the imagination. In general, 'celebrity' foundations are a twisted inefficient mutant of charity, self-promotion, exotic travel, and PR crap. Still, they compete for funding with more efficient legitimate charities who do more work with less money. The celebrity figure heads often disregard the primary donors, co-founders, and managers, take personal credit for any collective work done, and seek maximum publicity shortly before or after the release of their own commercial projects. Its a sham. So if its not rated, then don't support it. Instead, support a top rated charity like any of those given high ratings at Charitywatch.org.

  • At 4:49 PM, Blogger Shane Lear said…

    Well, looks like Shaun is in Madonna's business circle and knows all.


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