dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Monday, November 23, 2009

America Loves Lady Gaga's Burning Thighs!

Lady Gaga may not have won any statues at the American Music Awards tonight, but she gained something much more—she won the hearts and minds of America itself!

Yes, chyldren, flee to the city, wedge a thong up your candy and start stripping in grimy gay dives, and one day you, too, can writhe around on stage and bang on a flaming piano while Hollywood screams for your boobs!

Here's Lady Gaga performing "Bad Romance" and "Speechless" at the AMAs tonight:

Did anyone else even perform? Doesn't matter...

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