dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

It's A Ke$ha World Now, And Rihanna And Adam Lambert Are Just Passing Through

Never underestimate the power of a broad with a six-pack of Coors, my friends. For you see, Ke$ha not only holds down the #1 position on Billboard's Hot 100 chart for a fourth week—the first solo female to do stick around at the top that long since Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" racked up four weeks, as well—she also debuts at #7 with "Blah Blah Blah," #27 with "Your Love Is My Drug" and #85 with "Take It Off."

This is, of course, in addition to Ke$ha's album Animal pouring stale beer all over Susan Boyle's parade, and bumping her down to #2 after six weeks. It's about time we had sophisticated, thought-provoking pop by a stunning talent dominating the musical landscape for a change, I say. Hoo-ray for 2010!

What else is going on? Rihanna's unlistenable "Hard" somehow scrapes into the Top 10 this week, matching the peek of her other flop dirge "Russian Roulette" at #9. You will not hear this song on radio four months from now.

Adam Lambert's Pink/Max Martin/Shellback decent "Whataya Want From Me"—a far better track than that "Time For Miracles" trash Glambo was trying to foist onto us—climbs up to #65. I'm surprised Pink didn't keep this jam for herself, actually. It'll probably shoot up higher once the video premieres tomorrow.

And that brings us to our weekly check-in on The Script, whose "Breakeven" now moves from #84 to #73. Come on, boys—you can do it. Think of all the hot tail you land if you have a hit in America!

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "TiK ToK" - Ke$ha *4 weeks*
2. "Bad Romance" - Lady Gaga
3. "Empire State Of Mind" - Jay-Z feat. Alica Keys
4. "Replay" - Iyaz
5. "Fireflies" - Owl City
6. "Sexy Chick" - David Guetta feat. Akon
7. "Blah Blah Blah" - Ke$ha feat. 3OH!3 *new*
8. "Bedrock" - Young Money feat. Lloyd
9. "Hard" - Rihanna feat. Jeezy
10. "Down" - Jay Sean feat. Lil Wayne

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  • At 10:17 AM, Anonymous shanaynay la-oh-hell-no said…

    ke$ha = poor man's gilette (don't want no short dick man) aka phony white bitch.

    lambert = poor man's kd lang, but less butch.

  • At 11:06 AM, Anonymous DraylenR said…

    This is delicious. It took me, for what seemed like, forever to fall in love with this girl. I still don't get her drunk-girl shtick (as if there's anything to get), but she's wholeheartedly infectious!

    Also, she made me spend $6.99, so she's a Saint in that right.

    And RihaAdam Lambertna are flopping all kinds of suck. They're just a glittery-domestic-abuse-issues-having circle jerk of fail (I doubt that made sense). Why do they still have careers...at least in Lambert's case...???

  • At 9:21 PM, Blogger D'luv said…

    SL, GILETTE!!!!!!!!! God, that's so true...

    DraylenR, "circle jerk of fail"... I imagine Gilette knows all about that.

  • At 7:19 AM, Anonymous Norman said…

    It won't truly have success, I believe this way.
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