dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Now That Lady Gaga Killed Off Madonna, Ke$ha's Here To Shove Them Both In A Meat Grinder

Last year bitches were hatin' hard when I called that Lady Gaga would reduce Madonna's last dying ember of relevance to a ground-up pile of slut dust. But those non-believing whorez can kiss my swagger, 'cause now Ke$ha's here to play beer pong with Madge's elbow sockets!

Billboard reported today that Ke$ha's Animal sold enough copies (150,000) to end Scottish sex machine Susan Boyle's six-week run at the top of the album chart. That might seem like a low number (well, okay, it is)—BUT, remember it was only a few years back when both the Dreamgirls and Juno soundtracks each topped the chart after selling something like 14 copies a piece. No, for real—I swear on Ke$ha's last bottle of Zima!

And now with the boozy broad locking down the #1 ("Blah Blah Blah"), #2 ("TiK ToK") and #10 ("Your Love Is My Drug") positions on iTunes—not to mention #32, #59, #102 and #154—I'm predicting Ke$ha is on track to become the most important artist since Bach.

Or at least she'll be the next Lady Gaga.

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13 Comments:

  • At 7:38 PM, Blogger xolondon said…

    You. Are. El. Diablo.

     
  • At 8:01 PM, Anonymous Simon said…

    xo- I love you for saying that ;P

     
  • At 8:30 PM, Blogger Moogaboo said…

    Can we nominate this for a Grammy?

    "Slut dust."

     
  • At 7:15 AM, Blogger rcLoy said…

    *puke*

     
  • At 7:34 AM, Anonymous shaun said…

    Kesha (refuse to incorporate "$") < current Madonna < Gaga

     
  • At 12:03 PM, Anonymous DraylenR said…

    It's hilarious how quickly we herald "something" as the new "something." Don't worry, people will have their fill of Ke$ha, she'll fade sexily into the shadows and Gaga will return (not like she went anywhere), and everything will be sane in this insane and unpredictable industry...or Ke$ha will stick around and I can some party more...!

     
  • At 1:08 PM, Blogger Mr. Will-W. said…

    perfection. scottish sex machine. muahahahah

    will be attending her album launch party sunday. perhaps i shall bring some sanitizer.

     
  • At 6:37 PM, Anonymous cactus said…

    IF Kashier STILL HAS A TOP 10 SINGLE in 2030 please BLOG about it. FEMALE SINGERS COME AND GO... Madonna spans 3 decades. 1984 Borderline 2008 4 Minutes. GO FIGURE...

     
  • At 2:11 PM, Blogger hun*ter said…

    My gut reaction was that Ke$ha is a flash in the pan, but that's also what I thought about Rihanna in 2005 and Katy Perry in 2008.

     
  • At 9:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lady Gaga adores Madonna, she did not kill her off. No one can kill off Madonna. Madonna is the reason all these little tartlets are able to thrive. Oh yeah - there is only one person that will be able to walk in the shoes of her great mom, that is Lourdes, Madonnas beautiful daughter. Give it up...

     
  • At 8:01 PM, Blogger Jennifer said…

    If Ke$ha is the future Christtina Aguilera/Janet Jackson/Kylie Minogue/Britney Spears, Generation Y is DOOMED.

     
  • At 10:05 AM, Anonymous Lady Gaga Tickets said…

    Has anyone purchased Lady Gaga Tickets from the website http://lady-gaga-tickets.doitbigtickets.com/

     
  • At 2:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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