dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Harp-Playing Slut Joanna Newsom Trashes Lady Gaga, Calls Madonna "A Dumb-Ass"

Obnoxious-voiced hag Joanna Newsom is the latest artist (read: slut with a flop album and a harp) to trash Lady Gaga in the Guardian. (Did you catch Grace Jones' barbed comments last month?) But in the process, she also calls Madonna "a dumb-ass" and cheapens the legacy of soul legends the Spice Girls.

Witness the blasphemy, pop chyldren:
"I'm mystified by the laziness of people looking at how [Lady Gaga] presents herself, and somehow assuming that implies there's a high level of intelligence in the songwriting. Her approach to image is really interesting, but you listen to the music, and you just hear glow sticks. Smart outlets for musical journalism give her all this credit, like she's the new Madonna …" She breaks off and laughs. "Although I'm coming from a perspective of also thinking Madonna is not great at all. I'm like, fair enough: she is the new Madonna, but Madonna's a dumb-ass!"

Later, she emails to clarify what she describes as her "late-afternoon dopiness" on this subject: "I may have contradicted myself. My problem isn't actually with Lady Gaga. But there's not much in her music to distinguish it from other glossy, formulaic pop. She just happens to wear slightly weirder outfits than Britney Spears. But they're not that weird – they're mostly just skimpy. She's fully marketing her body/sexuality; she's just doing it while wearing, like, a 'fierce' telephone hair-hat. Her sexuality has no scuzziness, no frank raunchiness, in the way that, say, Peaches, or even Grace Jones, have – she's Arty Spice! And, meanwhile, she seems to take herself so oddly seriously, the way she talks about her music in the third person, like she's Brecht or something. She just makes me miss Cyndi Lauper." And on the subject of Madonna: "I shouldn't have called Madonna a dumb-ass. Her music and she have just gotten so boring to me, this last decade. I think maybe she doesn't hold her money very gracefully, the way some people can't hold their drink. But one thing she is surely not is dumb."
Mind you, this all from the broad who's fucking the guy who sings "I'm On A Boat." Also, bitch—nobody trashes Madonna but me.

Hey—speaking of which...

ALSO SEE:
* Madonna's New Single Is A Hit Somewhere!
* Lady Gaga Again Spanks Madonna
* Madonna: Banterview With The Vampyre
* Lady Gaga: 4, Madonna: 0
* Madonna: Truth In Advertising
* Lady Gaga Renders Xtina Irrelevant (Say Hi To Madonna, Christina!) 
* Lady Gaga Hammers A Giant Stake Into Madonna's Undead Corpse

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14 Comments:

  • At 1:04 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    oh dear lord. she was certainly vocal wasn't she? Still I do enjoy it when "stars" slag each other off, whether I agree or not. Makes work so much more entertaining... (I get to steal their quotes!)

     
  • At 3:10 AM, Blogger Mike said…

    Even though I love the Lady GaGa, all of a sudden I have the distinct urge to buy every snigle record Joanna has ever released. She's my new icon!

     
  • At 5:26 AM, Blogger wade.l said…

    I'm on your side Joanna. Madonna did have good songs WAY back but never had the voice. Now she is just a piece of frizzled botox that can't keep her legs closed. She could have aged gracefully and be a bigger icon today than she ever was. As for La GaGa, she does have the vocal ability so I will reserve my opinion and see how she pans out

     
  • At 12:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    OMG, "wade.l". Yuri is having a heart attack right now!

     
  • At 9:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    'Arty Spice'.... rofl XD

     
  • At 4:36 AM, Anonymous Rob said…

    This article reads: bitchy bitchy bitchy rehash.

    I pick Newsom.

     
  • At 3:25 PM, Anonymous Christina G. said…

    In Joanna's defense, she is both correct and amazing :)

     
  • At 6:18 PM, Anonymous Esteban said…

    Joanna Newsom all the way. What moron wrote this article? haha.

     
  • At 3:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Newsom is such a disgusting, talentless whore.

     
  • At 5:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Joanna Newsom is a really talented musician. Lady Gaga is a big-nosed slut with no real talent, plus Newsom's tits win, Gaga's are like dog's ears.

     
  • At 5:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Totally with Newsom, she said everything I was thinking perfectly!! It is so amazingly true! I'm sick of the people who all think the same ways and all listen to the same gay music like GaGa along with whatever else is on the radio at the moment!
    i dont see the genius in the lyrics "P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
    (Mum mum mum mah)
    P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
    (Mum mum mum mah)"

     
  • At 8:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You and your blog are pointless garbage. Just another sour little nobody venting their piss n' shit on the information highway.

    Big up Joanna Newsom.

     
  • At 9:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm not making a joke in any way when I say that the guy who wrote this article must be a homosexual. I'm not taking either side.....just sayin.

     
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