dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

UK Chart Roundup: Cheryl Cole Proves That Amateur Hour Is A Hit With The Kids

After Cheryl Cole triumphantly mimed 90% of her single "Promise This" on the The X Factor last week—an act that was exceptionally classy because at one point the words were still coming over the speakers while she was already using her hands to cover her mouth during an extremely intricate bit of choreography—the High Priestess Of British Soul has debuted at #1 on the UK chart. Spectacular!

This marks Cheryl's second chart topper in her home country. "Fight For This Love" reached #1 at the end of October last year.

Moving on to far classier broads, Joe McElderry's "Ambitions" slips down two positions to #23 in its third week on the singles chart, while the awesome collection of pop choons that is his debut album Wide Awake debuts on the LP roundup at #3. Holiding Joe off from the top of the chart is Kings Of Leon's Come Around Sundown, which is #1 for a second week. At #2 is Michael Buble's Crazy Love—an album that is now over a year old.

Oh, Joe. Can his career be saved from a Leon Jackson-like doom? Guess it all hinges on how far down Wide Awake slips next week.

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "Promise This" - Cheryl Cole * new* *1 week*
2. "Only Girl (In The World)" - Rihanna *new*
3. "Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars 
4. "F**K You" - Cee Lo Green
5. "Cooler Than Me" - Mike Posner
6. "Firework" - Katy Perry
7. "Barbra Streisand" - Duck Sauce
8. "Just A Dream" - Nelly
9. "Heart Vacancy" - The Wanted
10. "Written In The Stars" - Tinie Tempah

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Shayne Ward Gives "No Promises" To Miss World

The Miss World competition went down in Sanya, China yesterday, and some broad from Kentucky named Alexandria Mills won. More importantly, Shayne Ward performed his 2006 hit "No Promises" at the event.

Ah—that's an oldie but a goodie. Let's hope Miss World got to wrap her thong around Shayne's head and ride him like it was the Kentucky Derby.

Ward's new single "Gotta Be Somebody" (watch the video) is out a week from today (November 7), and his third album Obsession follows on November 15.


Saturday, October 30, 2010

Hear Three New Pink Songs: "Fucking Perfect", "Heartbreak Down" + "Whataya Want From Me"

The U.S. version of Pink's upcoming Greatest Hits...So Far!!! will contain two three new songs—her current Top 10 single "Raise Your Glass" and "Fuckin' Perfect", both of which are Max Martin and Shellback productions.

Meanwhile, the international version will also have "Heartbreak Down" [UPDATE: So will U.S. version] and Pink's version of "Whataya Want For Me," Adam Lambert's hit song that Pink co-wrote.

Why do we always get shafted with these things, you might be asking? Because Pink wants you to suffer, chyldryn. And there you go.

"Heartbreak Down" sounds like the standout from all three of these. It actually seems like it could be a better jam than "Raise Your Glass."


Friday, October 29, 2010

The Two Big Reasons Katy Perry's "Firework" Video Makes Total Sense

I didn't really get why Katy Perry's label went with "Firework" as a third single of her latest album at first. Especially given that it was following up "Teenage Dream," a song that, despite my reservations about Katy herself, I'm still quite addicted to.

"Firework" just seemed to be missing something—the sense of urgency "Teenage Dream" possesses. Or the ability to stick around in your head after you've heard it. Or a certain Max Martin-ness.

But now, after seeing the song's music video, it all makes perfect sense. Katy Perry shoots fireworks out of her tits and saves dying children and makes fat girls go swimming and gay boys kiss.

She's like an ambassador of unity. Or at least her cans are. Stunning. And thank god she reminded us she has that pair. Because she doesn't rely on them to compensate for her vocals nearly enough in her career.


Ke$ha's New Song "Sleazy" Shows Off Her Amazing Powerhouse Soul Vocals

A brand new Ke$ha track off upcoming album Cannibal (out November 22) was made available on iTunes overseas, and I'm actually beside myself and in tears at how beautiful and soulful she sounds here. It's like a choir of angels has descended from heaven and is blessing all of our ears with gentle kisses (with tongue, of course).

BEST LINE: "My and all my friends we don't buy bottles, we bring 'em / Take the drinks from the tables when you get up and leave 'em"

Ravish me with your poetry, Lyrical Goddess!!!

Girl, you boughetto.


Thursday, October 28, 2010

Pink's "Raise Your Glass" Becomes Her 10th U.S. Top 10 Single

Pink has every right to knock one (or three) back herself this week, as her Greatest Hits...So Far!!! single "Raise Your Glass" climbs up one position to #10 on the Billboard Hot 100, and becomes her 10th American Top 10 hit (not counting that abomination that was "We Are The World 25," which I've stated before makes me want to swallow glass).

"Raise Your Glass" is also her highest-charting U.S. hit since "So What" reached #1 back in September 2008. (Stick with Max Martin, girl!) And I have to say, this jam is a total grower. I wasn't completely smitten with it at first, but hearing it on the radio over the past couple of weeks has proven to be a pleasant surprise each time. Good on ya, Pink. Looking forward to the greatest hits (out November 15) finding a permanent home in my car next month.

Elsewhere, Yolanda Be Cool and DCUP's international dance hit "We No Speak Americano" climbs up to #29, Shakira's "Loca" jumps up 52 spots to #32 (thus giving British rapper Dizzee Rascal his first American hit) and Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair" debuts at #78.

On a final note, Natasha Bedingfield goes in at #95 with new single "Strip Me." Jesus. This song, "Babies"—what is it with these repressed religious girls?

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Like A G6" - Far*East Movement *2 weeks*
2. "Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars" 
3. "Only Girl (In The World)" - Rihanna
4. "Just A Dream" - Nelly
5. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull
6. "Bottoms Up" - Trey Songz feat. Nicki Minaj
7. "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry
8. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz
9. "Club Can't Handle Me" - Flo Rida feat. David Guetta
10. "Raise Your Glass" - Pink

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Ke$ha's 'Cannibal' Album Cover Tastes Like Glitter

It also comes served with a side of cheap trash, and leaves a strong aftertaste of reycled garbage. LOVE IT.

Ke$ha's Cannibal (and the Animal + Cannibal re-release) is out November 22. First single "We R Who We R" is currently #1 on iTunes.
Here's the official Cannibal tracklist, as posted on MTV today:

1. "Cannibal"
2. "We R Who We R"
3. "Sleazy"
4. "Blow"
5. "The Harold Song"
6. "Crazy Beautiful Life"
7. "Grow a Pear"
8. "C U Next Tuesday"
9. "Animal (Billboard remix)"


It's Shayne Ward's "Gotta Be Somebody" Video

I think I've made it abundantly clear that I'm not happy Shayne Ward has been made to release a Nickelback cover, "Gotta Be Somebody," as the first single off his long-overdue third LP Obsession. But that said, I'm glad the video isn't a black and white affair, as the preview clip seemed to indicate.

And the director was right in having Shayne appear shirtless throughout, to distract from the fact that the song is just kind of mundane. Sorry, but I think we all got spoiled with Breathless, his second album, which seemed to be much more upbeat.

Looking forward to hearing more energetic material from Obsession. My biggest gripe is that the fantastic "The Way You Are," which leaked earlier this year, didn't make the cut.

Anyway, here's "Gotta Be Somebody."


Your Sex Drive Will Go Down The Tubes After Watching Robyn's "Indestructible" Video

Robyn's video for new single "Indestructible" starts off kind of sexy as we see a couple getting hot and heavy in bed. Then Robyn herself appears, with a bunch of tubes wrapped around her.

As multiple partners begin to enter the picture, a bunch of different colors shoot through the water jacket until the liquid is all running black in the end. All I really know this clip makes me want to never have sex again.

Thanks, Robyn!

Robyn's final Body Talk album, which contains 15 songs, is out November 29.


Kylie Minogue Does The 'Tonight Show' Backed By Rickey Minor's Live Band

Kylie Minogue went from her appearance on Dancing With The Stars on Tuesday to the Tonight Show With Jay Leno last night. The difference was that this time she actually performed "Get Outta My Way" with a live band, led by Tonight Show (and American Idol) musical director Rickey Minor.

The slick, overproduced (and overloaded with lyrics) chorus still required the help of backing vocalists and a backup track. Nonetheless, Kylie looked like she was having a ball.

If only Cheryl Cole was even one-third as talented.


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

NOW That's What I Call Depressing

Here—you look at the tracklisting for the upcoming NOW That's What I Call The 1990s: The Alternative Pop Collection. I'll be over in the corner mainlining Geritol and fastening a noose out of the drapes.

1. New Radicals, "You Get What You Give"
2. Spin Doctors, "Two Princes"
3. Barenaked Ladies, "One Week
4. Meredith Brooks, "Bitch"
5. Sheryl Crow, "If It Makes You Happy"
6. Joan Osborne, "One Of Us"
7. Lisa Loeb, "Stay (I Missed You)"
8. Des’Ree, "You Gotta Be"
9. Duran Duran, "Ordinary World"
10. Shawn Mullins, "Lullabye"
11. Edwin McCain, "I’ll Be"
12. Tonic, "If You Could Only See"
13. Vertical Horizon, "Everything You Want"
14. Everclear, "Father Of Mine"
15. Live, "I Alone", "Shine"
17. Blind Melon, "No Rain"
18. Sublime, "What I Got"

P.S. Where the hell's that "wanna put my tender heart in a blender" song?


Kylie Minogue Does 'Dancing With The Stars'

Kylie Minogue is back on American soil, and coincidentally it happens to be the week "Get Outta My Way" topped the Billboard Dance/Club Play chart.

Last night she hit up Dancing With The Stars to perform the jam. Nothing much new with the routine except that she seems to be looking better than she ever while performing the song.

Tonight Kylie does the Tonight Show With Jay Leno. (Sigh. I remember getting line at about 6 a.m. back in February 2002 to snag audience tickets to see her on there.)

* My Kylie Minogue Interview: Part 1
* My Kylie Minogue Interview: Part 2


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

My Interview With Corinne Bailey Rae

My interview UK soul songstress Corinne Bailey Rae is up over at Idolator. She talks about her upcoming release The Love EP, which contains cover versions of songs by Belly, Paul McCartney, Bob Marley, Prince and Doris Day.

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Take That Take A Hot Pic

Take That announced their 20-date 2011 European tour, which kicks off next summer, ahead of the release of their single "The Flood" and album Progress. Looking good, gents. Don't be surprised if there's some extra special D'luv-liness in the audience at the Milan show in July.


Monday, October 25, 2010

Cheryl Cole's Sloppy Performance Of "Promise This" On 'The X Factor'

It never ceases to amaze me how these reality TV "talent" shows put kids through a grueling competition while Simon Cowell chastises them week after week, yet have talentless "singers" like Cheryl Cole hit the stage and lip sync.

The Rapidly Aging Divorcee put on some low-end call girl outfit and mimed through her latest single "Promise This." Check out the part at the 1:00 mark where she says "be the last to kiss my lips," but already has the mic pulled away and her hand over her mouth by the time the word "lips" is uttered.

A true talent!

Remind me again what qualifies Cheryl Cole to be a judge of anything?

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Sunday, October 24, 2010

UK Chart Roundup: Joe McElderry's "Ambitions" Is Already Starting To Fade

What is it about the poor gents who've won The X Factor? Shayne Ward has gone a painfully long three years without releasing an album (and the previous one only got two singles issued off it, despite each one charting in the Top 10). Leon Jackson was pretty much dead on arrival. Steve Brookstein...WHO? And now there's Joe McElderry.

Last week "Ambitions," Joe's lead single off his rather amazing Wide Awake album (out tomorrow), debuted at #6 on the UK chart. That's quite a disappointing position, given that last year's X Factor runner-up/nudist Olly Murs found himself at #1 in September with "Please Don't Let Me Go."

Compounding Joe's problems is the fat that "Ambitions" has now dropped all the way to #21. Sigh. At least boy band The Wanted manage a decent entry this week with second single "Heart Vacancy," which goes in at #2. This follows their #1 hit "All Time Low," and like McElderry, the quintet's self-titled debut LP is out tomorrow in the UK.

Elsewhere, Katy Perry still hasn't worn out her welcome (though she'll never top "Teenage Dream" in my eyes) and debuts at #5 with "Firework," which she performed on The X Factor last week. And then there's Jay Sean and Nicki Minaj's utterly useless "2012 (It Ain't Over)," which goes in at #9.

I'm off to have a cry for poor Joe by listening to Wide Awake. Pick it up tomorrow—it's better than you might think!

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars *2 weeks*
2. "Heart Vacancy" - The Wanted *new*
3. "Barbra Streisand" - Duck Sauce 
4. "F**K You" - Cee Lo Green
5. "Firework" - Katy Perry *new*
6. "Cooler Than Me" - Mike Posner
7. "Miami 2 Ibiza" - Swedish House Mafia vs. Tinie Tempah
8. "Written In The Stars" - Tinie Tempah
9. "2012 (It Ain't The End)" - Jay Sean feat. Nicki Minaj *new*
10. "Best Behaviour" - N-Dubz *new*

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Saturday, October 23, 2010

Shayne Ward Previews His Stripped-Down (Literally) "Gotta Be Somebody" Video

Wow. Shayne Ward is really using his well-sculpted body to sell "Gotta Be Somebody," the first single off his upcoming third LP Obsesssion. Check out the below preview of the video:

You've got my attention, Shayne. I'm almost ready to overlook the fact that this is a Nickelback (vomit) cover. And bravo for blurring the line between porn and pop even further! I'm guessing the part we have yet to see is where the pants come off, too?

"Gotta Be Somebody" is officially released in the UK on November 7, with Obsession following the week after.


My Interview With Mark Salling Of 'Glee'

I interviewed Mark Salling, who plays full-lipped, mohawked jock Puck on Glee and has a new album called Pipe Dreams coming out on Monday. The one-on-one is up now over at Idolator.

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Friday, October 22, 2010

Is Pet Shop Boys' New Single "Together" Their Most Disturbing Song Yet?

The Pet Shop Boys' singles off their greatest hits collections have traditionally been upbeat, positive jams. Think buoyant declaration of pride "Was It Worth It" from Discography and the metaphorical, starry-eyed "Miracles" on PopArt.

And now we've got "Together," the brand new single on the Boys' third hits compilation Ultimate. With the song's optimistic refrain "together we'll go all the way," it would seem we have yet another affirmative choon about love and the fearlessness it instills.

But scratch the surface a bit—or, rather, give it a few more listens—and suddenly we start to realize there's something darker lurking in the subtext of Neil Tennant's lyrics than we originally were aware of.

Particularly disturbing is the second half of the chorus:

Together I'll cry with you,
Together I'll die with you,
Together we'll go all the way

On "More Than A Dream," a song from the last Pet Shop Boys album Yes, there's that whole middle part that contains the following lyrics:

Driving through the night
Just you and me
Faster than the pale moonlight
Something is calling, calling us away
Do you believe heaven is a better place
We'll be there in a heartbeat

This always struck me as a veiled reference to suicide—or a suicide pact between two lovers. And "Together," with all of its desperation, seems to be a continuation of that theme.

Now my heart is beating fast
Time is short, the die is cast

The narrator seems to be bent on complete devotion and self-destruction, no matter what the cost: "Anything you want I'll do, I'm gonna need to follow through / Everything I have is yours, I pray you understand because whatever you want to do I'm gonna be with you."

It plays like a more sinister version of Donna Summer's devotional pop anthem "This Time I Know It's For Real," or Sonia's strangely icky stalker fest "You'll Never Stop Me Loving You." The true tip-off that the two people in "Together" are doomed comes with the song's middle eight:

Everything's easy in this state of mind,
The world starts to fade as we leave it behind

And indeed, as "Together" swirls into its climax, a ghostly array of synths build like a spectral chorus, carrying our two characters off to the next world.

I think it's funny that there was the misconception before "Together" surfaced that this was possibly a song about Neil's professional relationship (or the ending of it) with Chris Lowe. To me it's so clear that, lyrically, this is about two people in love who are willing to end their lives for each other.

Is it just coincidence that, musically, "Together" resembles an Adamski (featuring a young Seal) song called "Killer"?

It's creepy. And it's poppy. In other words, it's so very Pet Shop Boys. I mean, come on—if you doubt that "Together" is anything more than a love song, take a look at the single's cover art, which depicts a pair of restraints.

This ain't no "Love Comes Quickly," folks. Or, if it is, it's the Romeo And Juliet brand of amore. Now pass the poison.


Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Black Eyed Peas Get Really Lazy With Brand New Single "The Time (The Dirty Bit)"

Will.i.am posted the brand new Black Eyed Peas single "The Time (The Dirty Bit)"—the first issued off upcoming album The Beginning—today on his Dipdive blog. Above you see the 8 bit watch-featuring cover art.

Says Will, "We secretly shot our first video in L.A. last week before we left on our South American tour...The Beginning is our departure to the new...always pushing new sounds and technology..."

Interesting that he says "new," since "The Time" uses the utterly tired technique of not only building its chorus around the melody of an '80s pop hit—in this case, Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes' Dirty Dancing duet "(I've Had) The Time Of My Life"—it actually just uses that song's entire chorus as its own.

LAZY. I would have been more down with this potential jam had they done something way more original. I do like the tick-tock synth intro. But relying on a known song once again for a hook is tacky. (They already copped from Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" for "Meet Me Halfway," after all.)

Let's hope that, like The E.N.D. post-"Boom Boom Pow," The Beginning has better singles lying in wait. David Guetta, DJ Ammo and Will served as producers on the LP, which contains 12 tracks and is scheduled for a November 30 release.

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U.S. Chart Roundup: Far East Movement Fly Like A G6 To The Top Of The Hot 100

And so club-crawling booze enthusiasts Far East Movement (and thus, the "featuring" Cataracs and Dev) climb to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 this week with their "Booty Bounce"-sampling "Like A G6." You just knew that was inevitable.

"Like A G6" sort of won me over in the way that, if I hear it on the radio, I won't switch it off just yet. At first I wanted to ram a screwdriver in my ear upon hearing it. And now—well, I'd never pay to download this trash, but I don't mind it at a respectable volume in the background.

Moving on, Pink jumps from #51 to #11 with her new Max Martin/Shellback-produced jam "Raise Your Glass." The song is already #1 in Australia, a country that I feel appreciates the radness of Pink far more than America does. If this single doesn't at least go Top 10, I'll be crafting a voodoo doll in the likeness of Clear Channel chairman Lowry Mays. And I have really long pins.

This brings us to the Mike Posner, a total douche an artist I expressed my apprehension about last week. This week his latest synth-drenched single "Please Don't Go" climbs 20 positions to #34.

And as I hinted at back in July when Yolanda Be Cool And DCUP's "We No Speak Americano" topped the UK chart, it hasn't taken long for us Yanks to embrace this novelty hit. The monotonous Aussie dance jam cracks the Top 40 this week and moves up to #36.


The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Like A G6" - Far*East Movement *1 week*
2. "Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars" 
3. "Just A Dream" - Nelly
4. "Only Girl (In The World)" - Rihanna
5. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull
6. "Back To December" - Taylor Swift *new*
7. "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry
8. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz
9. "Club Can't Handle Me" - Flo Rida feat. David Guetta
10. "Bottoms Up" - Trey Songz feat. Nicki Minaj

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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Absolute Horror: Jedward Cover "Teenage Dream"

Of course, they still somehow manage to sound better than Katy Perry. That note at 2:58 is the stuff dreams are made of.

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It's Robyn's Final 'Body Talk' Album Cover

Oh, Robyn—you crazy broad. Here's the cover for the "full" Body Talk album, the third in the series that will contain new single "Indestructible." It looks like she's getting manhandled by Post It notes.

Robyn wrote the following on her official site today, regarding the three-part Body Talk series:
"Even though it was never a conceptual idea, but a practical solution to the problem of getting bored with just doing one thing at a time, it has influenced not only the music, but all the visual content for the album as well. And the way I’ve communicated with press and listeners. It’s been amazing to share the process with you. As soon as I have had an idea of what I’m doing so have the fans and that interaction has been super interesting and fun to me. As I’m writing this, I am still mixing the third album."
This third one will contain five jams from part one, five from the second and five new ones.

1. Fembot
2. Don´t Fucking Tell Me What To Do
3. Dancing On My Own
4. Indestructible
5. Time Machine
6. Love Kills
7. Hang With Me
8. Call Your Girlfriend
9. None of Dem
10. We Dance To The Beat
11. U Should Know Better
12. Dance Hall Queen
13. Get Myself Together
14. In My Eyes
15. Stars 4-Ever

She also seemed to indicate on her site that new music will be coming in 2011, as well: “I’m going to keep mixing up my tours with studio time and am hoping to stick to this new way of releasing music next year."

Last month Body Talk Pt. 2 became Robyn's highest-charting album in the U.S. when it reached #41 on the Billboard Top 200.


Take That Reveal 'Progress' Tracklist, New Photo

Here's a brand new pic of Q magazine cover gents Take That from their Progress album photo shoot—presumably one that might be appearing in the CD booklet—courtesy of Manchester Evening News. And, really, I think this photo is pretty telling of where the guys are at now.

To me this pic conveys that Robbie and Howard are happy to be banging each other for the first time in 15 years, while Gary has clearly taken the more subservient role in his relationship with Mark. Poor Jason, however, is left to watch. (He must not have gotten the package with the keys to my place yet.)

Anyway, the That revealed the tracklist for their upcoming fifth album Progress on their official site. Is #8 supposed to be a wink at Adam Lambert?

1. The Flood
2. SOS
3. Wait
4. Kidz
5. Pretty Things
6. Happy Now
7. Underground Machine
8. What Do You Want From Me?
9. Affirmation
10. Eight Letters

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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Ke$ha Offers New Single "We R Who We R" For Free Until Tomorrow

New Queen Of Soul Ke$ha is offering new single "We R Who We R" as a free download when you sign up for her newsletter. The only catch is that the jam will only be available sans price tag until noon tomorrow. Don't ask me which time zone, though. Just think like Ke$ha herself does and realize that, hey—it's six o'clock somewhere. Paaaaaaaaaarrrrrty!


Take That Cover 'Q' Magazine, Talk Trash

UK man band Take That have the cover story in December's issue of Q magazine. It's the first time all five members have appeared on the cover of a publication together in 15 years, and the images were shot by none other than Bryan Adams. Yes, "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" Bryan Adams. And "Heaven" Bryan Adams. And "Please Forgive Me" Bryan Adams. What the fuck am I talking about?

Oh, right—so in their article, it seems like Gary Barlow has to run through the same old song-and-dance about the low point he hit when he was dropped by his label in the late '90s while Robbie Williams' career was taking off:
"The thing I've learned from having Rob back in my life is that it wasn't being envious of him, it was more that I love being in the industry. I love days like today, doing a photo shoot, being driven here in a nice car. It's a nice life. And it's fucking temporary, unless you're incredibly lucky. He was getting all the stuff I wanted. I hated it when he had a pop at me, but it didn't keep me awake at night. I was just longing to get back into the industry. It was snatched away from me overnight."
Class. At least he wasn't missing something frivolous, like making music.

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Take That's 'Progress' Album Cover Is Evolutionary

There are so many things you know I could say about Take That's Progress album cover, but instead I'll just note that at least they haven't lost their senses of humor. Or their exploitation of homo-eroticism.

On an intellectual level—cough—guess this shows the evolution of Take That (although, really, they've kind of come full circle at this point).

Progress is out November 22. Watch the video for first single "The Flood" here.

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Monday, October 18, 2010

It's Pet Shop Boys' "Together" Single Art

Here's the single art for Pet Shop Boys upcoming single "Together" (listen to a clip). The jam will be added to UK iTunes on Sunday (October 24), and the artwork was designed by Farrow.

Ultimate is out in the UK on November 1, and is rumored to be out in the U.S. in early 2011. Says the PSBs' official site, "A video for 'Together' is being shot in Eastern Europe the week after next."


Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair" Video Vs. 'Sesame Street' "I Love My Hair": Which Is Better?

The music video for Willow Smith's absolutely obnoxious, painfully repetitive (read: I'll be loving it after three more listens...maybe) viral hit "Whip My Hair" leaked premiered today, but I can't help finding new Sesame Street jam "I Love My Hair" so much more charming.

Granted, I teared up over Willow's vid, too—but that was more of an "I weep for the future" affair. The Sesame Street one has gone totally viral over the past week, and deserves every view it gets.


The Ting Tings Shout Out Chart Rigger While Introducing New Single "Hands"

Katie White and Jules De Martino of duo The Ting Tings did a special shout out for Chart Rigger readers for their new Calvin Harris-produced single "Hands."

I was in Austin over the weekend and literally danced on a sofa to this jam at Malverde, while spilling my drink all over everyone within a two-yard radius. Yeah—they loved it.

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UK Chart Roundup: Joe McElderry Seems To Have Low Ambitions

Hey all. Was out of town for the weekend. Back to normal on Monday.

Just a quick note: Joe McElderry's #6 debut with "Ambitions" either means that he's going to go the way of Leon Jackson right quick, or we're going to be seeing a lot more of him naked.

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "F**K You" - Cee Lo Green *2 weeks*
2. "Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars
3. "Barbra Streisand" - Duck Sauce *new*
4. "Miami 2 Ibiza" - Swedish House Mafia vs. Tinie Tempah
5. "Written In The Stars" - Tinie Tempah
6. "Ambitions" - Joe McElderry *new*
7. "Shame" - Robbie Williams & Gary Barlow
8. "Let The Sun Shine" - Labrinth
9. "Cooler Than Me" - Mike Posner
10. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher

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Friday, October 15, 2010

The Best Thing About Take That's "The Flood" Video Is Howard Donald's Sex Faces

Take That hop in a Sculling boat and have what looks like a majorly strenuous row in their video for new single "The Flood."

Then about halfway through, during the whole "there's progress now where there once was none" bit, to prove how strained they are there's an intense montage of the guys all showing their exertion via exaggerated faces. To me it just looks like they're having sex.

Particularly Howard Donald.

Oh, wait—that's probably what they want you to think so you'll buy their music. OK, I'm off to have a shower now. And where'd I put my wallet?

Damn you, Take That!

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Thursday, October 14, 2010

It's Ke$ha's New Single "We R Who We R"

New Queen Of Soul Ke$ha has finally graced us all with music off her upcoming mini album Cannibal. Check out her brand new single "We R Who We R," which she told Entertainment Weekly that she wrote in the wake of the recent gay teen suicides that have been alarming the country.

“I wanted to inspire people,” she told the mag, “to be themselves. It’s a celebration of any sort of quirks or eccentricities.” What a revelation! KE$HA FOR PRESIDENT IN '12!

And, oh—I'm inspired, Ke$ha. Inspired to play this trash like 40 times in a row. Below is her recent video for the It Gets Better campaign.

Haters kiss her glitter trench!


Here's My Problem With Mike Posner And His "Please Don't Go" Video...

Oh, Mike Posner. I wanted to like 31 Minutes To Takeoff so much. Singer-songwriter with slight b'boy edge making hooky electro-pop in his dorm room? That almost had me overlooking the sketchy chin strap facial hair.

But while Mike's album tracks like "Bow Chicka Wow Wow" and "Do U Wanna?" seem to border on overly-confident swagger and sexual arrogance (guess he is only 22, after all), it's actually tunes like "Gone In September"—where Posner proclaims, "I said I loved you in the summer, but will I love you in the fall? / I thought I wasn't like the others, guess I'm an asshole after all"—and "Cheated" ("I should have cheated on you, nobody told me I was dating a whore") that make me want to ram a massive stack of his unsold CDs down his scrawny throat.

But my particular dilemma with "Please Don't Go," his second single off the album, is twofold:

1. It's not a faithful cover of KWS's surprise 1992 American hit "Please Don't Go" (itself a KC And The Sunshine Band cover and a strategic ripoff of Double You's version).

2. I actually really like Posner's "Please Don't Go." I just can't stand how he comes off as such a douche in the lyrics for the bulk of his songs. Sorry, Mike—I probably think your song is cooler than you.

It's sorta like how a majority of people won't deny that Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" is a bona fide jam, even though they want to strangle her. That said, I think Mike is actually pretty talented. He just needs to grow up and apply his musical ability to a less annoying persona.

P.S. Goddamn, I've been looking for an excuse to post that KWS video for a long time.


It's Robyn's Single Version Of "Indestructible"

As we know, Robyn's new version of acoustic Body Talk Pt. 2 track "Indestructible" will serve as the lead single off Body Talk Pt. 3 (out November 29).

The dancey, swizzed-up version of the jam was put online today, and my first thought is that it's just not as immediate and addictive as previous singles "Dancing On My Own" and "Hang With Me." Maybe if those two hadn't preceded this one...?

All that said, I'd still rather listen to "Indestructible" over the bulk of what's currently on the Billboard Hot 100.


U.S. Chart Roundup: Can Pink's "Raise Your Glass" Please Just Go To #1 Already?

It's pretty bad when a mediocre song by Taylor Swift that sounds exactly like "You Belong With Me" is one of the only noteworthy things about the Billboard Hot 100 this week. The country-pop broad's upcoming album title track "Speak Now" debuts at #8 after being the top download on iTunes for the better part of last week.

Like with her previous album Fearless, Taylor's label is tossing out a single each week leading up to the release of Speak Now. So expect this latest to drop like four-dollar hooker at the wave of a fiver on Big Daddy's yacht at sundown by next week.

At least we also have the #51 debut of Pink's "Raise Your Glass" to keep this from being a total snoozefest. The new single off her upcoming Greatest Hits...So Far!!! was made available at digital retailers this week, and is currently #5 on iTunes. So hopefully airplay kicks in and this becomes another Top 10 hit for pop's hottest pistol.

Over on the album chart, David Archuleta's second album proper (not counting last year's holiday offering) The Other Side Of Down debuts at #13. Two years ago, his first album went into the Top 200 chart at #2. Awwww.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars" *4 weeks*
2. "Like A G6" - Far*East Movement
3. "Just A Dream" - Nelly
4. "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry 
5. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull
6. "Only Girl (In The World)" - Rihanna
7. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz
8. "Speak Now" - Taylor Swift *new*
9. "Club Can't Handle Me" - Flo Rida feat. David Guetta
10. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna

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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Ke$ha's Eight-Song 'Cannibal' On The Way

There's no stopping New Queen Of Soul Ke$ha! The classiest gal on Planet Pop not only covers the  November issue of Seventeen, she was also nominated for three American Music Awards yesterday and is readying an eight-song mini album titled Cannibal (out November 22).

And thank God, too—it's about time we get to hear some real music this year! The broad's first single off the set will be "We R Who We R," and it's being issued to radio (i.e. it'll be leaking all over the place like Ke$ha's thong when she sees a keg of Schlitz in the distance) tomorrow!

Says MTV News, the eight new songs will be produced by Max Martin, Benny Blanco and Bangladesh, and there'll be a remix included on Cannibal. (Odd that the site doesn't mention Dr. Luke, who we already know is involved after his Billboard interview last month).

It will also be offered up in a deluxe repackaging of Animal titled Animal + Cannibal. That's Ke$ha for you—such an clever smarty pants.

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Rihanna's "Only Girl (In The World)" Video Hits All The Right Red Buttons

Let's face it—Rihanna's had some dud singles and music videos. "Unfaithful," "Shut Up And Drive" and "Hard" all come to mind.

But something seems so right with the campaign for Loud, the Barbadian singer's upcoming fifth album (out November 16)—from the album cover to energetic Top 10 lead single "Only Girl (In The World)" and now said tune's video.

In fact, the only thing that's kind of tragic is that red hair. But we can overlook it, since this vid is so many shades of hotness.

I'm no Ri Ri loyalist by a long stretch. And far be it from me to rave about some dance-pop diva's latest four-minute visual strut fest. (Unless, of course, it's by the New Queen Of Soul Ke$ha.) But the Anthony Mandler-directed video for this jam is pretty effing rad. Maybe I'm just a sucker for a hot broad rolling around in flowers.

Consider me team "Only Girl (In The World)." Hope it becomes her 347th #1!


Hurts Crank Up The Angst In Their "Stay" Video

Hurts' video for new single "Stay" is as dramatic as their previous clips for "Better Than Love" and "Wonderful Life," only this time the Manchester duo have swapped out the raven-haired dancing girls from the latter for a pack of twirling blonde babes.

I love how soaked with angst and urgency everything these two do is. "Wonderful Life" peaked at #21 on the UK chart but hung around within the Top 40 for awhile. And now that they have a hit album (which reached #4) on their debonair hands, hopefully ballad "Stay" (officially out as a single November 15) will be the smash that truly breaks them through to the mainstream.

Must say, can't help feeling there's something very "Europa And The Pirate Twins" about this video.


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Robyn Will Be Indestructible With 'Body Talk Pt. 3'

Robyn plans to swizz up her Body Talk Pt. 2 acoustic track "Indestructible" as the single issued off her upcoming Body Talk Pt. 3 (due out November 29). She pulled the same hat trick to great effect with Pt. 1 jam "Hang With Me."

Digital Spy reported this morning that Body Talk Pt. 3 will contain five tracks from the first volume, five from the second and five new tracks. As far as music-related stocking stuffers go this year, this is looking like an pretty rad one.