It never fails—each year brings a new bucketful of rotten singles, causing trusty Chart Rigger
and I put on the rubber gloves and fling them into the trash bin where they belong every December. And 2010 was certainly no exception! Below are the 10 biggest culprits of noise pollution we found lurking around the airwaves over the past 12 months.
10. Christina Aguilera
, "Not Myself Tonight"
"The public deflation Xtina's bloated sense of entitlement was one of the more entertaining disasters of the year. Lucky for her, the ball-gag muffled any potential screaming tantrums."
"I will proudly admit that this song was one of my guilty pleasures in 2010. But I can also appreciate the sheer magnitude of flopdom is represents for Xtina's career. Plus, it wasn't the ultimate
guilty pleasure. So here we are."
PREVIOUS TRIUMPH: Christina soared to #6 on our Worst list in 2006 with "Ain't No Other Man."
9. Robbie Williams & Gary Barlow
"I realize this is supposed to be the 'full-circle' portion of the Robbie Williams redemption story, but I find him tiresome and his continued attempts at relevance more pathetic with each passing year. Next."
PREVIOUS TRIUMPH: Robbie proudly reached #4 on our Worst list in 2006 with "Rudebox."
8. B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams
"Maybe if this song wasn't rammed up my ass every time I turned on the radio over the past six months, it wouldn't be here on this list. Alas..."
7. Cheryl Cole
, "Promise This"
"If Cheryl used her mouth for something other than lip-syncing crap trash like this every time she got on a stage, she'd probably be able to keep a man."
6. Nadine Coyle
"How cute—she thought she had a career other than the pole."
"Someone needed to pull this doll aside and say, 'No. Just no.' Sadly, they didn't, and that's how Estelle went from Grammy winner to dumpster barnacle in one short year."
"Wow—this really was a colossal flop on every level. Of course, if I paid a producer tens of thousands of dollars and this was the dreck they came up with for me, there would most definitely be a homicide."
4. Mike Posner
, "Cooler Than Me"
"Finally, an anthem for insecure dildos."
3. The Black Eyed Peas
, "The Time (Dirty Bit)"
"Good ol' Black Eyed Peas—always there to remind us that shit sells."
"So true. This completely wipes out any good will they may have accrued with 'Meet Me Half Way' and reminds me that they're the same bozos who did 'My Humps'."
PREVIOUS TRIUMPH: The Peas easily sailed to #5 on our Worst list in 2009 with "Boom Boom Pow", while Fergie received accolades when we dubbed "London Bridge" the #1 worst single of 2006.
2. Travie McCoy featuring Bruno Mars
"I wanna be a billionaire, too, so I can buy a city block and drop it on Travie McCoy's head."
"Deserves a punch in the face for the porkpie hat and suspenders alone."
1. Artists For Haiti
, "We Are The World 25 For Haiti"
"This doomed flotilla of Z-listers (and Streisand) capsized quickly, but I like to think their semi-sincere efforts did some good. Otherwise, we endured Jamie Foxx
's obnoxious Ray Charles
impression again for nothing."
"Apparently it takes 80 or so people to fuck up a classic, stage the biggest non-event of the year, give Vince Vaughn
a reason to sing and then, ultimately, flop. But, hey, man—Bieber."
* The Worst Singles Of 2009
* The Worst Singles Of 2008
* The Worst Singles Of 2007
* The Worst Singles Of 2006
Labels: B.o.B, Black Eyed Peas, Bruno Mars, Cheryl Cole, Christina Aguilera, Estelle, Gary Barlow, Hayley Williams, list, Mike Posner, Nadine Coyle, Robbie Williams, Travie McCoy, We Are The World