dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Monday, August 30, 2010

It's JoJo's New Jam "In The Dark"

Something about JoJo's brand new jam "In The Dark" reminds me of Annie Lennox's 1992 Diva track "Stay By Me." Maybe it's the haunting vocals and slow drum machine groove mixed with the tinkling piano?



Now this is the type of sexy, mature track you want to hear from a 19-year-old former teen-pop singer transitioning to adulthood—intelligent, sultry and melodic. Not like the verbal porn that amateur ho's like Xtina and Britney have tossed out before.

And speaking of ho's and porn, here's Annie's "Stay By Me":



JoJo's "In The Dark," produced by Jordan Gatsby, is from her upcoming mixtape Can't Take That Away From Me, which will be released exclusively on Rap-Up.com on September 7.

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Kylie Minogue's Unreleased Deadmau5 Track "Change Your Mind" Is Just Okay

Kylie Minogue had mentioned that she recorded several tracks for Aphrodite before hooking up with Stuart Price and completely reshaping the sound of the album. And now nearly two months after the release of her 11th album along comes "Change Your Mind," an unreleased track produced by Deadmau5.

There's no way this dance jam would have fit on Aphrodite. In fact, had the Canadian DJ/producer been active in the biz at the time, "Change Your Mind" might have worked for Light Years.

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Sunday, August 29, 2010

Taio Cruz, Brandon Flowers And Hurts Light Up The Uk Chart Like Its Dynamite

Three quick thoughts on the UK chart this week, then I'm off to bed:

* Kudos to Taio Cruz for landing another #1 with the infectious "Dynamite."

* Similar congrats to Brandon Flowers, whose solo single "Crossfire" debuts at #8 and becomes his highest-charting song since the Killers' "Human" reached #3 two years ago.

* Hoo-ray for Hurts nabbing a respectable #21 debut with "Wonderful Life." High hopes for the album doing well!

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz *new* *1 week*
2. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna
3. "Club Can't Handle Me" - Flo Rida feat. David Guetta
4. "Green Light" - Roll Deep
5. "Katy On A Mission" - Katy B *new*
6. "We No Speak Americano" - Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP
7. "Billionaire" - Travie McCoy feat. Bruno Mars
8. "Crossfire" - Brandon Flowers *new*
9. "Beautiful Monster" - Ne-Yo 
10. "Airplanes" - B.o.B feat. Hayley Williams

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Same Difference's "Shine On Forever" Is Out Today, And You Need The Matt Pop Mix

If you thought British brother-sister duo Same Difference went the way of the vinyl-clad hooker at a bachelor party (i.e. down) after their 2008 debut album Pop, then you clearly didn't read Fizzy Pop's interview with them last year or check out the clip I posted of new SD song "Souled Out."

So now 2007 X Factor alums Sarah and Sean Smith are back with giddy single "Shine On Forever (Photo Frame)," which was released worldwide (yes—including the U.S.) today on iTunes and the Amazon MP3 store.

And let me just cut to the chase—if you don't at least go grab the "Matt Pop Mix," which sounds like Rick Astley grabbing Bananarama's asses while they're playing croquet with Mel & Kim, then you might as well relinquish your pop badge. Now. Hand it over.



Here's a bit more info on the choon, courtesy of Hit Factory Forum:
"As well as the track being recorded at Pete Waterman’s Open Studios, the single has more than its fair share of PWL connections… Produced by John Myers (who also produced [Same Difference's cover of] "Turn It Into Love" with Pete Waterman), was engineered by Pete Waterman Jnr, Mixed by Al Unsworth and mastered by Tom Parker (who also designed the artwork and edited the wonderful 7 minute Extended Mix).

"There is a limited CD single available also via SameDifferenceWorld.com featuring an exclusive b-side written and produced by IAN CURNOW & DAVE FORD."

And here's the music Video for "Shine On Forever (Photo Frame)":



It's never easy being cheesy.

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Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Sex In Ace Of Base 2.0 (aka Ace.Of.Base) And Their "All For You" Music Video

Make no mistake about Ace.Of.Base, the new incarnation of Ye Olde Ace Of Basethese new gals who've replaced departed siblings Jenny and Linn Berggren are here to amp up the party pussy-slip slut factor. They slink around seductively and arch their backs in bra and panties. And while they sing adequately enough, they're providing the much needed Sex Factor that maybe was required for AOB to get another record deal.

That said, neither of these broads (Clara Hagman and Julia Williamson) can suggestively manhandle a microphone as expertly as Base veteran Ulf Ekberg does in the "All For You" music video.

And then there's longstanding Ace linchpin Jonas Berggren, who appears in the new clip as kind of the wise old Europop sage figure. It's like Orson Welles and Joe Cocker birthed a baby who came shooting out with a Moog in one hand and acoustic guitar in the other.

And, hey—the video is in black and white, just like the group's breakthrough smash from many, many moons ago (1993), "All That She Wants." See "the bridge" there? (Wink.)

Here's "All For You."


Ace.Of.Base's album The Golden Ratio is due out by year's end.

[Vid via Fizzy Pop]

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Friday, August 27, 2010

Sneak Peek At Kylie Minogue's "Get Outta My Way" Music Video

Judgment reserved till the full thing premieres, but here's 20 seconds of Kylie's "Get Outta My Way" video. Now we see where the chairs used in her America's Got Talent routine come from.

I will say that it's already looking more sparkly than "All The Lovers."

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Thursday, August 26, 2010

Rihanna Has Been #1 Forever, "Bed Intruder Song" Disappears & Nelly Didn't Cover Cathy Dennis

Folks, first up let's all bow our heads for a moment of silence, as "Bed Intruder Song" dropped out of the Billboard Hot 100 after a lone week on the chart. It was fun while it lasted, Antoine Dodson—hope you went out, rolled deep and had lots of classy sex.

On a far less glamorous note, Eminem and Rihanna's "Love The Way You Lie" has now been #1 for six weeks, giving Ri Ri a total of 11 weeks at the top of the Hot 100 this year if you include "Rude Boy." Meanwhile, it was announced this week that she has yet another single ("Only Girl"—out next month) and another album (her fifth) due for release by year's end.

B.o.B's third single "Magic" cracks the Top 10 this week and features Rivers Cuomo. It's the Weezer frontman's second Top 10 hit after his band's "Beverly Hills" climbed to #10 back in 2005.

Coming in just behind them at #12 is Nelly with "Just A Dream." Alas, pop chyldryn, this is sadly not a Cathy Dennis cover with a slightly shortened title.



"Just A Dream" is now the rapper's first Top 20 hit since that horrific trash "Grillz" somehow hit #1 five years ago. (Clink your glass with Rivers, Nelly.)

On a final note, Adam Lambert's "If I Had You" moves up to #32, thereby finally entering the Top 40.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna *6 weeks*
2. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz
3. "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry
4. "I Like It" - Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull
5. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull
6. "Right Above It" - Lil Wayne feat. Drake *new*
7. "Cooler Than Me" - Mike Posner
8. "California Gurls" - Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg
9. "Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars
10. "Magic" - B.o.B feat. Rivers Cuomo

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Robbie Williams And Gary Barlow Get Lovey-Dovey In The "Shame" Video

I was expecting more of a piano-driven, "Rule The World"-esque composition for "Shame," the new duet by Take That DILFs Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow. Instead, it's got a country vibe that's very charming and totally fits with the theme of regret in the song.

It also fits with the Brokeback Mountain theme we'd been hearing about. Plus, we get to see the two shirtless! Though, gotta love all the shots where Gary is strategically hidden (except at the end where he's sucking it in—yeah, I know all about that trick!).

Whatever—I'll give you a workout, Gaz! I'm glad these two broads finally made up!


"Shame" is out in the UK on October 4 and in the U.S. October 5.

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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

It's Kylie Minogue Performing "Get Outta My Way" On 'America's Got Talent'!

Kylie Minogue slipped into her glittery gold platform shoes and pranced around in front of a screen projecting clips from her past videos while belting out "Get Outta My Way" on America's Got Talent tonight. It was Kylie's first live TV performance here in the States since the release of Aphrodite in July.

Her legs looked great, her ass looked great and she sounded great to boot. And I loved her little squeal at the end when the dancers hoisted her up on the chair.

After Kylie finished singing her current single, host Nick Cannon (aka Mr. Mariah Carey) sidled up to her and asked the crowd to once again "make some noise for the fabulous Kylie Minogue."

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Ace Of Base Offer Up More "All For You" Video Pics And An Extended Mix

This mix—the "Dance Extended Mix" of Ace Of Base's "All For You"—isn't too shabby. As mentioned last week, the Base revealed the names of the 17 contending songs for their upcoming fifth LP The Golden Ratio.

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Hurts Cover "Confide In Me" As A Tribute To "The Wonderful Kylie Minogue"

First Scissor Sisters did a bluegrass rendition of Kylie's "All The Lovers" earlier this summer, and now Hurts have served up a haunting (well, even more so) cover of Ms. Minogue's 1994 hit "Confide In Me" for The Sun.



Love this so much, and can't wait for the duo's debut Happiness (which, incidentally, will contain the Kylie duet "Devotion").

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Kylie Minogue Doing 'America's Got Talent' Tonight, Performed At Tiny Pub Last Week

First of all, I've been in the throes of packing for a move, so forgive me for being about, oh, five days late on posting this one. Kylie Minogue and a few of her UK label mates (Tinie Tempah, Eliza Doolittle, Morning Parade) rolled up to a small British pub called Ring O' Bells in Somerset county last week and did a secret gig for the folks swilling their ale.

Backed by a mini band and swathed in blue lighting, Kylie perched her classy behind on a stool and belted out "Get Outta My Way," "All The Lovers," "I Should Be So Lucky" and "The Loco-motion" (hot).



As OK! tells it, the pub managers agreed to the show after being approached by Parlophone exec Miles Goodard, who lives in Somerset.

At any rate, you can catch Kylie—who's in Los Angeles this week—on a much grander scale tonight, when she performs on America's Got Talent.

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Monday, August 23, 2010

Here's A Pic From Robbie Williams & Gary Barlow's "Shame" Video

So far we've heard that the video for Robbie Williams-Gary Barlow collaboration "Shame" is a visual affair along the lines of Brokeback Mountain, thematically. And the above still from the clip that was just released shows the reunited Take That pair getting chummy in a bar.

But let's face it—these two had better be jousting each others tonsils with their Brit sticks if they want to hold our interest. Or at least they ought to take turns ramming in tent.
Oh, who am I kidding? I can't wait for this trash. According to a press release, "Shame" will get a single release here in the States on October 5, one week ahead of Robbie's In And Out Of Consciousness—The Greatest Hits 1990 - 2010.

The song and video are set to premiere this Thursday (August 26).

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Sunday, August 22, 2010

INNA Is Trantastic!

The Saturdays' Headlines! mini album, a chunk of which is recycled trash from previous LP Wordshaker, settles for a #3 debut on the British album chart this week as Iron Maiden (hot) enter at #1 and Eminem hangs in at #2.

Over on the singles chart, the Sats drop from last week's debut position of #3 with "Missing You" to #7. Some other garbage slides into the UK chart this week, like Roll Deep's "Green Light" at #1 and Eastern European tranzbot INNA at #14 with her latest hooker jam "Amazing."



Every time this broad sings, she looks like she just sat on a traffic cone. Normally you'd think that would make her smile. But here she just looks pained. Amazing!

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "Green Light" - Roll Deep *new* *1 week*
2. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna
3. "Club Can't Handle Me" - Flo Rida feat. David Guetta
4. "We No Speak Americano" - Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP
5. "Beautiful Monster" - Ne-Yo
6. "Billionaire" - Travie McCoy feat. Bruno Mars
7. "Missing You" - The Saturdays
8. "Airplanes" - B.o.B feat. Hayley Williams
9. "Pack Up" - Eliza Doolittle
10. "All Time Low" - The Wanted

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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Shontelle Actually Recorded A Decent Song

After somewhat flooding the airwaves with her semi-hit "Impossible" this summer, 2008 Chart Rigger Worst Of The Year honoree Shontelle has now recorded an actual good song for a change in the form of "Perfect Nightmare" (not to be confused with Ne-Yo's current flop "Beautiful Monster").

Rodney Jerkins produced this trash, and it seems having a hit with Lady Gaga and Beyonce's "Telephone" has given Darkchild a flare for dance-pop.



Am I ashamed to admit I like a Shontelle jam? Sure. It's kind of like when you get crabs from a priest—you know you did something bad, but Jesus already knew you were a whore in the first place, so it's okay.

Here's hoping "Perfect Nightmare" is another #36 smash for Shontelle on the U.S. chart!

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Thursday, August 19, 2010

Chart Triumph: "Bed Intruder Song" Debuts On The 'Billboard' Hot 100

The greatest chart achievement in the history of recorded music has occurred this week, and we're all alive to witness it! That's right—"Bed Intruder Song" (credited to Antoine Dodson & Gregory Brothers featuring Kelly Dodson) has cracked the Billboard Hot 100, entering at #89.



Please, God, let Antoine Dodson win at least six Grammys for this. And MTV, if you want to be real classy, get him to perform at the VMAs next month!

Meanwhile if you've never seen this gem before it was rendered into a smash hit remix via Auto Tune, here's the original news broadcast about the Huntsville rapist:



Miracles, chyldryn—THEY HAPPEN! Speaking of which, Ke$ha scores her fourth Top 20 hit off Animal as "Take It Off" climbs like a stripper chasing a two dollar bill up a pole to #20. (Or should I say climbs in your window, and snatches your people up?)

And speaking of strippers, Adam Lambert's "If I Had You" inches ever closer to the Top 40, this week settling for #42.

The U.S. Top 10:


1. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna *5 weeks*
2. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz
3. "California Gurls" - Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg
4. "I Like It" - Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull
5. "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry
6. "Cooler Than Me" - Mike Posner
7. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull
8. "Mine" - Taylor Swift
9. "Airplanes" - B.o.B feat. Hayley Williams
10. "Ridin' Solo" - Jason Derulo

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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Ace Of Base Meet Kiefer Sutherland, Name Fifth Album 'The Golden Ratio'

Any Jack Bauer fans in the house? This pic of Ulf Ekberg and the new Ace Of Base broads with Kiefer Sutherland in Gothenburg, Sweden, was posted today on the band's Facebook. Why? Well—why the hell not, right?

The Base have been shooting their video for new single "All For You" this week (maybe Kiefer will make a cameo?), and Jonas Berggren tweeted on Monday that while they've secured a Canadian deal, they're still working on getting distribution in the States:
"Nice that also Canada is within the deal with Universal. No deal yet with the USA but we have something coming there I think- Jonas"
The band's fifth album will be called The Golden Ratio. Below are the tracks that Jonas confirmed yesterday are candidates to be on it:

1. All 4 you
2. Mr. Replay
3. Let It Play (BlaBlaBla)
4. Golden Ratio
5. One Day
6. California
7. All Night Long
8. Hold Me, Doreen
9. Precious
10. Black Sea
11. Who Am I
12. Vision In Blue
13. Told My Ma
14. Juliet
15. New Year's Day
16. The Piper
17. Paradise

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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

It's Armin Van Buuren And Sophie Ellis-Bextor's "Not Giving Up On Love" Video

I don't care if Sophie Ellis-Bextor's last three singles have flopped harder than Madonna's 700-year-old tits after being chewed on by half of Los Angeles, all of Manhattan and at least 12 people in Londre—I still love this broad, and her new jam with Armin Van Buuren is already a #1 smash in my mind!

"Not Giving Up On Love" is the latest single to be lifted of Bex's yet-to-be-released fourth album Straight To The Heart (supposedly out in October). It'll also appear on Van Buuren's Mirage (out next month).



Heavenly. And am I the only one who thinks those lines about life not always being on your side and stuff weighing heavy on your mind can sort of mirror Sophie's own thoughts about her chart success?

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Throwback: This Used To Be My Playground

Since today marks Madonna's 62nd birthday, I couldn't let the occasion slip by without a particular tale of when I was under Ye Olde Vampyre's sway. Yes, chyldryn, we must go back into the mists of time as we did once before in Chart Rigger's Throwback series for Madge. And you'll like this one—it involves teenage boy drama.

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First off, here's my confession on a dance floor: the first Madonna album I ever owned was The Immaculate Collection. It was a Christmas gift from a friend of mine named Mandy, and we used to hang out in her bedroom playing it over and over. She was 14 and I was 16. We'd also alternate with INXS' X, Deee-Lite's World Clique, Pet Shop Boys' Behavior and Morrissey's Bona Drag, but usually it all came back to Madonna. We had a stupid dance we'd do to "Material Girl."

I actually used to defend the Vampyre a lot in those days. My mom once complained that her music sounded "mechanical," and I let her have it. (It was ironic to me, since she bought my dad Madonna's first two albums upon their release.) Anyway, that was then...

****
A year-and-a-half later I graduated from high school. A friend invited me and some other broad on her family vacation to Ocean City, Maryland. It was summer 1992, and everything was "Baby Got Back," The Simpsons, Beverly Hills 90210 and Kriss Kross will make you jump, jump.

That was the first vacation I'd ever gone on with friends, sans my parents. We stopped in Baltimore on the way there, and that was the first time I ever heard a car alarm. It was also the first time I developed a crush on a guy.

The three of us hung out on the beach all week, and I played my Madonna "This Used To Be My Playground" and Elton John "The One" cassette singles a lot. One of the girls met this other boy named Jason on the beach who was our age and was vacationing with his mother and younger brother. The four of us hit it off instantly.

Of course, I think the reason for that is that the three of us Pennsylvanians were equally smitten with the athletic blond guy from Maryland. One night Anji's (the girl who invited us on the trip) parents went out, and we had Jason over. The girls made dinner and we all got drunk in the rented condo. There's a tragic picture of Jason and I singing along to Mariah Carey's cover of Jackson 5's "I'll Be There" to each other, holding remote controls up as microphones. I had on a black Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt and denim jean shorts (Christ!). On the TV in the background, the very first episode of Melrose Place was airing.

The four of us were inseparable that week. We spent days on the beach and nights on the heavily-populated, touristy boardwalk. One evening we debated over whether to see Unlawful Entry or Cool World at the movies. (Unlawful Entry won out—unfortunately. I've still never seen Cool World.) In retrospect, it feels silly to note that Jason seemed like a big kid, because, really, we were all kids (I was 18 and the three of them were 17). But there was something very childlike about him.



Me, I was all broody and listening to "The One" on my walkman over and over:

I saw you dancing out the ocean
Running fast along the sand
A spirit born of earth and water
Fire flying from your hands

In the instant that you love someone
In the second that the hammer hits
Reality runs up your spine
And the pieces finally fit 


****
On our last night together in Ocean City, the four of us went to the amusement park at the end of the boardwalk and rode all the rides. We made the most of it, but there was that nagging melancholy that we'd all connected for a brief moment in time that was about to end. Another year of high school beckoned for the three of them. As did lives in different states. And I had the uncertainty of a freshman year of college looming.

Us three vacationers walked to the hotel Jason and his family were staying at on the morning we left and we said our goodbyes. I'd stayed up the night before writing a long (and probably impossibly embarrassing) letter to him that said something along the lines of the fact that I'd never met another guy like him before. I guess in hindsight, those scribbled words were probably a thinly-veiled acknowledgment of me having a total guy crush for the first time. We all gave Jason a hug and I slipped him the letter.

On the five-hour car ride back to Western Pennsylvania, I kept rewinding and listening to "This Used To Be My Playground" on my headphones. I recall looking away from the rest of them, out the window, and quietly tearing up for a minute.

And looking back, I didn't cry so much over some guy we'd all just met a few days earlier. I think I was simply beginning to realize that a younger fraction of myself got left behind on that beach—the innocent part that still believed in the magic and possibilities that one week at the ocean could offer.

Well, the ocean...and, of course, Madonna.



THIS PIECE FOLLOWS:
* Mix Tapes, CD Singles And Being Boring—Tales Of A Lonely Teenage Nobody

IT PRECEDES:
* These Are Days You'll Remember
* Pet Shop Boys' 'Very' At 15: How Can I Even Try To Explain?
* Coffee, Drugs, Death And Ace Of Base
* Return To Innocence
* Threesomes, Term Papers, Erasure And The Book-End of Gen X
* Someone Who Won't Leave Me Feeling...
* You Can Depend On Me

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Sunday, August 15, 2010

Hurts Cite Gary Barlow Influence, Do 'GMTV' And Reveal Album Clips

Hurts' debut LP Happiness (out September 6 in the UK) is a few weeks from release, and you can now hear clips of all the songs over at Amazon Germany. (Alas, Kylie Minogue's part is not audible on the duet "Devotion.")

The duo appeared on London morning show GMTV on Friday, where they performed single "Wonderful Life" (out next Monday) and cited Take That DILF Gary Barlow and Johnny Cash as big influences.



Meanwhile, a short interview with the band ran in the Japan Times on Friday (they recently performed at Summer Sonic). Below is a bit of it.
"We met Jackie Chan in Roppongi and we talked to him about — you won't believe this — Joy Division. His favorite song is 'Transmission'."

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The Saturdays Are On A Somewhat Boring Roll

It's a shame that, for all their UK Top 10 hits (seven total now), The Saturdays have yet to hit #1. Granted, most of the dross on Wordshaker was utterly derivative. But when all is said and done, folks will probably come to find they have quite a tidy greatest hits collection when the singles are played consecutively.

And so this week the ho pack's eighth single "Missing You"—the first release off the Headlines! mini album—pops into the Brit chart at #3. The point of Headlines!, which contains previously-released singles "Ego" and "Forever Is Over" plus a remix of Wordshaker track "One Shot, is a mystery. Still, "Karma" is kind of nice for one or two listens before you eventually end up deleting the entire thing off your iTunes.

Funny how the Sats have yet to release anything as exciting as their first two single "If This Is Love" and "Up," the former of which came out two years ago now. At this point, that seems like a lifetime.

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "Club Can't Handle Me" - Flo Rida feat. David Guetta - Ne-Yo *1 week*
2. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna
3. "Missing You" - The Saturdays *new*
4. "We No Speak Americano" - Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP
5. "Beautiful Monster" - Ne-Yo
6. "Billionaire" - Travie McCoy feat. Bruno Mars
7. "Airplanes" - B.o.B feat. Hayley Williams
8. "All Time Low" - The Wanted
9. "Pack Up" - Eliza Doolittle
10. "In My System" - Tinchy Stryder *new*

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Saturday, August 14, 2010

America's Reigning Queen Of Soul Ke$ha Stuns With An Angelic 'Today Show' Performance

Forgive me, pop chyldryn, for I was traveling yesterday and missed the heavenly miracle that was Ke$ha performing live on NBC's Today Show...until now. And as I sit here and marvel at Her presence, I feel as if I'm watching Jesus being born all over again and swathed in drag from a Baby Gap that's been flooded by holy water.
l now know that, like the sacred work of Michael Jackson, Ke$ha is doing this all for the children. After all, what greater joy is there than watching a 10-year-old chant the lyrics "where they go hardcore and there's glitter on the floor"? That's right—none.
Here's Ke$ha performing new single "Take It Off," which this week rammed itself up to #27 on the Billboard Hot 100.

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Thursday, August 12, 2010

Better Late Than Never: Here's The Saint Etienne Remix Of The Drums' "Forever And Ever Amen"

Last September I wrote of The Drums, "Every fall I snap myself into being in the market for discovering some new indie pop, and this Florida band pretty much fits the bill."

Well, since it's summer and not fall, I pretty much slept on the fact that Saint Etienne recently swizzed up a remix of the band's "Forever And Ever Amen."



Grab it for free at RCRD LBL. And pretend this is brand new, like I am.

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Taylor Swift Is Probably Having Sex With Her Grammys Because "Mine" Debuted At #3

Yes, children of America, YES! Download Taylor Swift's new single "Mine" that sounds like every other Taylor Swift single ever released, and then download it AGAIN (because that way you can pretend it's her NEXT single, which will undoubtedly sound like this and the previous ones anyway)! She deserves it! You deserve it! Shove your dollar twenty-nine in the G-string that is Taylor's bank account so she can ride her Grammys three at a time in appreciation!

So anyway, Taylor's "Mine" debuts at #3 on the Billboard Hot 100 this week, and has achieved something ridiculous like the eighth highest opening for a digital single, saleswise (with 297,000 paid downloads) in just four days (it went on sale last Thursday).

A sigle that deserves to do better than "Mine" is "Take It Off" by the New Queen Of Soul Ke$ha. The music video alone would make Cecil B. Demille and Alfred Hitchcock weep. In fact, I think I hear Hitchcock hurling up a vomit geyser of failure in his coffin in the wake of the "Take It Off" video right now! (Think of The Birds, Hitch.) At any rate, the song jumps from #52 to #27, becoming her fourth Top 40 hit off Animal.

This brings us to The Script and their UK hit "The Man Who Can't Be Moved," which was released in July 2008 and peaked at #2 across the pond. Over here the song has been kicking around for about a year and finally cracks the Hot 100 at #96. And, who knows—maybe, just maybe, it'll soar to the upper reaches of the chart, giving them a second American smash, and the Irish trio will at least avoid becoming the next BBMak.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna *4 weeks*
2. "Dynamite" - Taio Cruz
3. "Mine" - Taylor Swift *new*
4. "California Gurls" - Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg
5. "I Like It" - Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull
6. "Airplanes" - B.o.B feat. Hayley Williams
7. "Cooler Than Me" - Mike Posner
8. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull
9. "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry
10. "Ridin' Solo" - Jason Derulo

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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

It's Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" Video

Much like the song itself, I have to admit that I love Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" music video. As I noted on Idolator, it feels like a cross between teen flicks such as Dazed And Confused and our own whitewashed adolescent nostalgia. Chalk it up to director Yoann Lemoine's use of filtered sunlight and haze.

And the party scene at the end with its flares, dancing, skateboarding, lezzing, bubblegumming and sexing is pure bliss. (As is Josh Kloss, formerly of The O.C., who plays Perry's love interest here.)



Bonus points to you, Katy Perry—you've never seemed so sweet.

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A Pet Shop Boys Cover I Never Knew About: Inga Humpe, "Do I Have To"

We have Moogaboo to thank for digging this one up. If you've ever heard Pet Shop Boys' "Always On My Mind" b-side "Do I Have To"—aka the greatest ballad they ever recorded—then you'll understand my need to go all fanboy over this 1991 cover by German songstress Inga Humpe that I have never heard before. (And if you've not heard "Do I Have To," then pick up Alternative and educate thyself.)

Andy Richards, who did some programming on the Boys' second album Actually produced Inga's version. As I mentioned to Moogaboo, she kind of looks like comedienne Julie Brown trapped in the Tom Petty "Don't Come Around Here No More" video in this clip.



How the original was relegated to a B-side is beyond comprehension. I think the best part of Inga's cover is the video itself.

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Monday, August 09, 2010

It's Alphabeat's "Heat Wave" Video

The video for Alphabeat's fourth The Spell/The Beat Is... single "Heat Wave" is an affair culled together from live bits of footage that have been creatively sped up, slowed down and slapped together for general amusement. Harmless enough, but I'm just wondering why the hell the 'beat (or their label) went with this as single number four, rather than the criminally passed over "The Right Thing"?

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Sunday, August 08, 2010

Now That Ne-Yo Knocked The Wanted Down To #5, I Have A Better Chance At Having Sex With Them

The Wanted's stay at #1 in the UK with debut single "All Time Low" was short lived, as Ne-Yo's fancy loafers came along and booted them down to #5 this week. I'm still not decided on "Beautiful Monster," either; much like Ne-Yo's 2008 hit "Closer," I kind of appreciate it—but it's just not grabbing me like his older jams "Because Of You" and "Sexy Love" did right away. Both he and Stargate can do better, I'm afraid.

At any rate, we really do seem to be in the doldrums of the pre-fall releases now. Katy Perry is putting a damn single out a week and Eminem and Rihanna's "Love The Way You Lie" is so overplayed that I'm thinking of putting a cork screw through my eardrum next time I hear it on the radio. (So, basically, I'll just have to go flip it on and start stabbing.)



Here's hoping The Saturdays' semi-decent "Missing You," which is now out, shakes things up a bit next week. After all, it's been so long since we've had a nice pack of strippers sliding down the pole that is the UK chart in an upside-down split on a Sunday.

Hail Jesus!!!!

The U.K. Top 10:

1. "Beautiful Monster" - Ne-Yo *new* *1 week*
2. "Club Can't Handle Me" - Flo Rida feat. David Guetta
3. "We No Speak Americano" - Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP
4. "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem feat. Rihanna
5. "All Time Low" - The Wanted
6. "Billionaire" - Travie McCoy feat. Bruno Mars
7. "Airplanes" - B.o.B feat. Hayley Williams
8. "Pack Up" - Eliza Doolittle
9. "One (Your Name)" - Swedish House Mafia feat. Pharrell
10. "California Gurls" - Katy Perry

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Katy Perry's 'Guardian' Interview Made Me Laugh (But The Pics Are Nice)

Here's some hotness from Katy Perry's interview with The Guardian, the key part being the last sentence:
"When she described herself as a 'fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a thinner version of Lily Allen', Allen came out blasting, 'It's like, you're not English and you don't write your own songs, shut up!'

"In fact, she writes her own lyrics; a producer helps flesh them out into songs."
As we know, I find the crux of that sentence a little hard to believe. Especially since, looking at it, it's vague enough that it could mean Katy writes something like "I like Gummi Bears and cock" on a paper towel and it eventually gets "fleshed out" into "Teenage Dream."

That said, I'm still not sick of "Teenage Dream." And I grew tired of "California Gurls" after about listen number three. .

Anyway, below are more pics from the Guardian piece.

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