dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

UK Chart Roundup: Pixie Lott, The Saturdays And Leona Lewis Really Fucked It All Up, Didn't They?

This is clearly the point in Pixie Lott, The Saturdays and Leona Lewis' careers when they figure they coast along and toss any three-minute garbage into the market. How else to explain the complete piles of shit that are, respectively, "All About Tonight" (#1 this week on the UK chart), "All Fired Up" (#3) and "Collide" (#4)?

Pixie I'm not surprised by, since her very first #1 hit "Mama Do" made Chart Rigger's 10 Worst Singles Of 2009 list. (Said yours D'luvvly at the time: "Just what the world needed—Duffy in a thong.")

Leona, okay — on the surface, it seemed as if I was dismissing her when she arrived on American soil three-and-a-half years ago. But really, I was just ticked off at Oprah Winfrey (who gave the UK X Factor winner her big break stateside, at the time) for endorsing Barack Obama over Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary race. At any rate, I do think "Better In Time" was a total jam. "Collide," on the other hand — well, keep that pole greased, luv. It's gonna come in handy about two more flop singles from now.

That brings me to The Sats. I don't know what's been going on with these strippers since the first album came and went, but it appears as if they've been spending more time at the tit factory getting new double D cups screwed on than recording anything resembling a listenable tune. And that's a shame, since Xenomania + The Saturdays, by all rights, should = total awesomeness, right?

I mean, Alex Gardner is huge now... And Florrie... and... [*shotgun blast*]

The UK Top 10:

1. "All About Tonight" - Pixie Lott *new* *1 week*
2. "Moves Like Jagger" - Maroon 5 feat. Christina Aguilera
3. "All Fired Up" - The Saturdays *new*
4. "Collide" - Leona Lewis & Avicii *new*
5. "Stay Awake" - Example
6. "Heart Skips A Beat" - Olly Murs feat. Rizzle Kicks
7. "Feel So Close" - Calvin Harris
8. "Jar Of Hearts" - Christina Perri
9. "Party All Night (Sleep All Day)" - Sean Kingston
10. "You Need Me, I Don't Need You" - Ed Sheeran

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  • At 8:50 PM, Anonymous MW09 said…

    I love Leona's new song. I thought it should've gone to #1. Hopefully it races up the chart next week.

  • At 9:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I personally love the new Saturdays song and Pixie's too! You have to appreciate Pixie and the Sat's new song for what they are- pure pop! Now Leona on the other hand that's a decline that she will never come back from!

  • At 7:43 AM, Blogger xolondon said…

    Talk no shit about Florrie, or I will cut ya!

  • At 11:27 AM, Blogger Patrick said…

    Totally agree about Saturdays, but truth told, I'm kind of loving the Pixie Lott single.

  • At 11:37 AM, Anonymous shaun said…

    What a relief....I recalled you writing off "Better in Time" as unbearably bland a couple years ago, and I questioned your taste...that song was so much better than Bleeding Love!

  • At 4:21 PM, Blogger Jump! said…

    Actually I liked both Pixie's single and the new Saturdays track. I would have liked to see those chart positions reversed as I would like the Sats to have a #1 - maybe next week but I doubt it.

    Leona Lewis' new song is awful and honestly the only time I felt anything for her was when a guy punched her in the head at a book signing.


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