dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Madonna: "We're Looking For A Woman Girl Female Child"

Typically delusional Madonna stans are convulsing and sitting on their cone bras over the news — so far only confirmed by Just Jared, not Ye Olde Vampyre's camp of walking dead slaves — that her first single from her upcoming studio album will be a Martin Solveig production called "Give Me All Your Love".

She's allegedly going to perform this Syren call, meant to lure unsuspecting humans with a pulse into her jaws of horror, at the Super Bowl. Even more disturbing — M.I.A., who makes me want to smash glass and swallow it while ramming a screwdriver into my ear drums, is said to appear on the song, along with rent-a-rapstress Nicki Minaj.

Boy Culture also has some alleged confirmation on Vampyre's album: it's produced by Solveig, William Orbit (thank Christ) and Benny Benassi, and the lead single is said to have some kind of "cheer" in it — all the better to get clueless Madge stans traipsing into her honey trap of death while in cheerleader drag!

Towleroad posted the following promo video for Vampyre and Chylde's line of human slave garments, Material Girl. It's really good — you know, in the way that Swept Away and Body Of Evidence are good.

All you really hear is: "Blah blah blah irony blah blah," and then the ultimate message of evil: "We're looking for a woman girl female child!"

Fucking hell — lock your doors! RUN!!!!

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