dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Madonna: "We're Looking For A Woman Girl Female Child"

Typically delusional Madonna stans are convulsing and sitting on their cone bras over the news — so far only confirmed by Just Jared, not Ye Olde Vampyre's camp of walking dead slaves — that her first single from her upcoming studio album will be a Martin Solveig production called "Give Me All Your Love".

She's allegedly going to perform this Syren call, meant to lure unsuspecting humans with a pulse into her jaws of horror, at the Super Bowl. Even more disturbing — M.I.A., who makes me want to smash glass and swallow it while ramming a screwdriver into my ear drums, is said to appear on the song, along with rent-a-rapstress Nicki Minaj.

Boy Culture also has some alleged confirmation on Vampyre's album: it's produced by Solveig, William Orbit (thank Christ) and Benny Benassi, and the lead single is said to have some kind of "cheer" in it — all the better to get clueless Madge stans traipsing into her honey trap of death while in cheerleader drag!

Towleroad posted the following promo video for Vampyre and Chylde's line of human slave garments, Material Girl. It's really good — you know, in the way that Swept Away and Body Of Evidence are good.

All you really hear is: "Blah blah blah irony blah blah," and then the ultimate message of evil: "We're looking for a woman girl female child!"

Fucking hell — lock your doors! RUN!!!!

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8 Comments:

  • At 2:34 PM, Anonymous Rob said…

    The whole "cheer" thing makes me think she heard Nicola Roberts' "Beat of My Drum" this summer (and read the rave reviews).
    When a 20-something like Nicola works a cheer into a pop song, it can work. Buy I'm terrified at what 53-year-old Madonna is going to look like.

     
  • At 10:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i love that madge is seething as lourdes is eating. you know that old bat is thinking 'i haven't had solid food since '89 - enjoy it now while you can CHILD!"

     
  • At 7:47 PM, Blogger Project Mobius said…

    Let me start by saying that Martin Solveig's sound is quite incredible, and I loved "Hello" back in 2010. Benny Benassi has had past success with "Satisfaction", but is surprisingly coming back into the spotlight on his own, most notably on "Cinema" and with Chris Brown on "Beautiful People". How these two will work together - and with William Orbit, who hopefully will be able to allow the other two to change Madonna's sound quite a bit for 2011 - will be quite interesting to hear when the new single comes out!

     
  • At 3:45 AM, Anonymous HeBop said…

    Wow so much hatered from someone who worships the crap that is Steps. Sometime I don't think you would know good music if it slapped you in the face! I gernerally like your blog but don't get the Madonna hate. She has done so much for our community and has made some amazing music along the way. Get over yourself and show some respect for an amaziinly talented and strong wonan.

     
  • At 2:36 PM, Blogger Todd said…

    HeBop:
    U mad bro?

     
  • At 5:11 PM, Anonymous Pranav said…

    I've had issues with most of what this lady has put out over the past decade to "Hard Candy" had some promising moments (I might be the only one to say that!). She still goes down as my favorite female artist of all time and I welcome anything new she has to put out - even though I might not necessarily like it.

     
  • At 12:19 PM, Blogger Joshua said…

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees through MIA's cacophonous din and want to slap the taste out of her mouth

     
  • At 11:03 PM, Anonymous Samuel said…

    To each his own, but I am certainly very excited. I am not blinded as to who Madonna can be, but I have to agree with those above: praise is given where praise is due. And Madonna certainly stands as the greatest female artist of all time; whether we consider her selling achievements, or her musical stamp, or the good things she has done on the side.

    I will not judge until I hear the track.

    Whether or not one likes them, I think she, alongside Mariah, has a weird connection with the current music worlds, whenever that may be, and they somehow make it work, so I am excited.

    The MIA and Nicki thing makes me doubt, but I am sure it will be catchy and colorful.

     

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