dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Westlife Splitting: Best News I've Heard All Week

Amateur hour has finally come to a end, as lobotomized elevator music favorites Westlife have announced they're calling it quits. The quartet, who have been flop central since the far classier Take That reunited five years, posted the following on their official site:
"After 14 years, 26 top ten hits including 14 number one singles, 11 top 5 albums, 7 of which hit the top spot and have collectively sold over 44 million copies around the world, 10 sell out tours and countless memories that we will forever cherish, we today announce our plan to go our separate ways after a greatest hits collection this Christmas and a farewell tour next year. The decision is entirely amicable and after spending all of our adult life together so far, we want to have a well-earned break and look at new ventures. We see the greatest hits collection and the farewell tour as the perfect way to celebrate our incredible career along with our fans. We are really looking forward to getting out on the tour and seeing our fans one last time."
Almost brings a tear to the eye — a tear of joy, that is.

Clearly, now that Steps have gotten back together and are set to annihilate every other pop band in their sight, Shelflife realized that the writing was on the wall, and they've now scurried away with their tails between their legs.

Good call, lads — you stayed far too long at your own boring party. 



  • At 5:20 PM, Anonymous Mark said…

    Keep in mind, Westlife sold more records, and stayed together longer than Steps, or any of your pole-riding hoochies......they'll be back.....


  • At 1:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Can you please explain why you would be a fan of Steps - and not Westlfe?

    They share many things in common - penchant for lazily covering other peoples songs, cheesy dance moves and videos...

    Well, I guess the comparisons end there. Westlife have been far more successful than Steps, the, err, definitely not biggest selling Brit band after The Beatles (well, maybe if you aint heard of The Rolling Stones, Spice Gils, Take That...)

  • At 12:24 PM, Blogger Todd said…

    Hilarious post.

    Westlife were always boring and took themselves too seriously. And I love how they announce they're splitting THEN a greatest hits, THEN a tour. Can't they just go away now? God awful.

  • At 11:20 AM, Anonymous Pranav said…

    it's about bloody time these guys split. "If I let you go" was the only song that may have come somewhat close to being half decent. Everything else was worse than elevator music. How did these guys sell so many albums? Their disappearance from the music scene is long overdue.

  • At 12:25 PM, Blogger Joshua said…

    Not gonna lie, based off that photo, I would still participate in a 5-way Wales fest with these blokes... and I'll swear THAT again!

  • At 7:32 PM, Anonymous Shaun said…

    So, I don't actually believe this will have effect.
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