dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Lady Gaga Project Blog: When Monsters Drink Too Much Kool-Aid

If there's any doubt that Lady Gaga's Monster Kingdom has (probably more than) a few raving lunatics running around in skag drag, check out fan blog The Lady Gaga Project, where you can catch the below pearls of wisdom from the site's creator, Monster Stephanie.

(NOTE: Gaga's fans are up in arms over the fact that, as I mentioned last week, "Marry The Night" is looking to become the singer's first single to miss out on the Top 10 on the Hot 100.)

* "Hello Little Monsters everywhere. This blog will be dedicated to warshipping Lady Gaga and making lighthearted fun of her competition and her haters. However, the Marry The Night project is most important right now. We must help this song go top ten!! The song takes a huge leap into the top 30 this week, but is slowing down in sales and airplay. It will be a huge blow for Mother Monster if this doesn't make the top ten."

* "Get your wheelchairs ready, Monsters! Madonna will be performing at the Superbowl this coming February. They will release her from the Shady Homes Nursing Center so she can girate her 80 year old thighs and her talentless bubblegum songs."

* "I will give Madonna credit for something—she worked very hard to become a big star. Rihanna—on the other hand—is a product of Affirmative Action in the music industry (and I say this as someone who is half Hispanic)."

* "For the past fifteen years, the music industry has pushed such talentless acts as TLC, Beyonce, Nelly, and Mary J. Blidge in our faces just to make it look like Black people can succeed in the industry."

* "Okay, Little Monsters! Take this with a slice of pizza, a strawberry shake, a chocolate bar, and everything else that has to do with Adele."

* "Besides helping Mother Monster, there is someone else we need to take care of—Perez Hilton. There are rumors saying that his blog is losing page views. He is our biggest Mother Monster advocate. In fact, Perez Hilton was very much responsible for bringing Christina Aguilera down."

And, perhaps, the most shady of them all:

* "Furthermore, we at The Lady Gaga Project have a way of bypassing the [iTunes] one sale [of "Marry The Night"] per account rule, but we must do it at our account. Please make a donation..."

Ah. Now I see where this is going.

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