Here's A Nice Photo Of Max Martin And Dr. Luke With Two Bums They Picked Up Off The Streets

I'm off to Austin to visit friends, so have a great weekend! Here's a pic of Adam Lambert and Ke$ha with Max Martin and Dr. Luke, who shared Songwriter Of The Year honors on Wednesday at the ASCAP Pop Music Awards.

Max and Luke won jointly for their work on Katy Perry's "California Gurls" and "Teenage Dream," and also Taio Cruz's "Dynamite." Max was also recognized for Lambert's "Whataya Want From Me" and Usher's "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love Again," while Miley Cyrus' "Party In The U.S.A." and Ke$ha's "Tik Tok" factored into Luke's win.

U.S. Chart Roundup: Beyonce's "Girls" Runs Off Track And Head-On Into A Wall

Following the pattern of her previous single "Firework," Katy Perry's "E.T." returns to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for a fourth non-consecutive week after a brief chart-topping interruption last week by Rihanna and Britney Spears' remix of "S&M."

Adele's "Rolling In The Deep" was performed by American Idol contestant Haley Reinhart last week to rather positive effect; the hopeful crooner managed to survive another week on the show, and Adele's single climbs to a new high of #2, matching its UK peak position. Likewise, Adele's 21 ballad "Turning Tables" debuts at #63 after a performance of it by Gwyneth Paltrow on Glee.

Two other artists from across the pond make slight advances this week on the Hot 100: Tinie Tempah is up one position to #13 with "Written In The Stars" while Jessie J's "Price Tag" also climbs one to #23.

This brings us to Beyonce's depressing (by her standards) debut at #33 with "Run The World (Girls)." The single went on sale at iTunes late last week and sold 77,000 downloads by Sunday evening. By comparison, Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" sold 448,000 downloads between its Friday release day and the following Sunday in February, and it debuted at #1.

Granted, Lady Gaga is the hot new pop broad on the block. But by that token, Britney Spears moved 411,000 copies of "Hold It Against Me" in its first week of release in January. That single also debuted at #1.

Two weeks ago Gaga's second Born This Way single "Judas" entered the chart at #10 after initially selling 162,000 in only two-and-a-half days.

I guess what I'm saying is this: Beyonce, girl, time to get a new weave.

On a related note, Kelly Rowland's Jim Jonsin-produced "Motivation" moves up one to #54, proving that the Real Talent From Destiny's Child is back to reclaim her wig.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "E.T." - Katy Perry feat. Kanye West *4 weeks*
2. "Rolling In The Deep" - Adele
3. "Just Can't Get Enough" - The Black Eyed Peas
4. "S&M" - Rihanna feat. Britney Spears
5. "Down On Me" - Jeremih feat. 50 Cent
6. "The Lazy Song" - Bruno Mars
7. "On The Floor" - Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull
8. "Look At Me Now" - Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes
9. "Blow" -Ke$ha
10. "Fuck You" - Cee Lo Green

The Hot Dudes Of Holy Ghost! Are Replaced By Their Dads In Their "Wait & See" Video

No sooner do I post about my affection for Holy Ghost!'s debut album does the NYC duo go and premiere their music video for my fave track "Wait & See."

In the clip, hot piece of tail Nick Millhiser and Alex Frankel are swapped out for their respective dads, Tim and Bruce. The leather jacket- and hoodie-clad pops tool around — they ride the subway, eat Chinese food, go clubbing with hipster hotties — during what seriously looks like an all-out fun day in the city.

I'm loving this band more and more.

Jennifer Lopez's "I'm Into You" Video Preview: Why Doesn't This Song Suck More?

I think that even if some itchy-fingered fucker put a Luger up to my temple I probably wouldn't admit to having a slight like for Jennifer Lopez's new single "I'm Into You." But at any rate, below is 18 seconds of the song's upcoming music video (full thing out May 2).

It features Cuban actor William Levy, who's thankfully got less clothes on than J.Lo.



See what I mean? Not bad. Shhhh.

Smashing Pumpkins Reissues On The Way + My List Of Their 15 Essential Jams

I'm dying over the news today that the Smashing Pumpkins' albums from 1991 to 2000 are going to be reissued in fully remastered deluxe versions, starting this fall, with bonus material added to each.

First up will be Gish, Siamese Dream and Pisces Iscariot. Next year it's Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness, the Aeroplane Flies High box set (Jesus—that thing was five discs) and Adore. Then in 2013 it's Machina/The Machines Of God and Machina II: The Friends & Enemies Of Modern Music.

Sorry, Zeitgest. (Save for two songs, that one was pretty much a misfire anyway. There is also a new album on the way in September called Oceania, which is essentially the next 10 tracks from the 44-song work-in-progress that Billy Corgan has been releasing here and there over the past two years.)

I can't begin to explain what an impact the "peak" years for the Pumpkins had on my own life;  being seduced by Siamese Dream as an innocent college sophomore, just as Nirvana completely imploded; adjusting to and navigating the ups and downs of life as an openly gay man, with Mellon Collie as the soundtrack; living in Pittsburgh and free-falling through a turbulent, post-college introspective period with Adore, the year before I moved to Los Angeles.

I miss everything I'll never be. — "Rocket"

I actually didn't buy Gish till way later, and still have never heard Machina the whole way through. I did, however, stand in line at the Sunset Blvd. Virgin Megastore with my friend Mike the night before the latter was released, so he could buy it during the midnight sale. Despite not owning a copy, I firmly believe "Stand Inside Your Love" off that one is a total fucking heart-breaker. Likewise, "Rhinoceros" off Gish is an absolute classic.

My List Of The 15 Essential Guitar-Crunching And/Or Mind-Blowing Smashing Pumpkins Jams, In No Particular Order:

"Here Is No Why"
"Cherub Rock"
"Soma"
"Today"
"Love"
"Rhinoceros"
"Stand Inside Your Love"
"The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning"
"Crestfallen"
"Ava Adore"
"Tonight, Tonight" (*My karaoke standby!*)
"Mayonaise"
"Rocket"
"For Martha"
"Hummer"

Personally, I just can't wait to finally have Siamese Dream with decent sound quality.

It's Kylie Minogue And VERBAL's Japan Charity Single "We Are One"

Good lord — it's been so long since we've heard Kylie Minogue do an actual mid-tempo track (well, okay, it's only been about four years). But here she is sounding sweet and full of uplifting pop joy on the chorus of "We Are One," a benefit single for Japan earthquake relief that's a collaboration with Japanese rapper VERBAL.

I actually spoke with Kylie earlier this month during a teleconference (which I took part in for Idolator), and she said, "“I don’t know how soon I would rush in to doing another pop album. I’m definitely looking into opportunities of collaborations or different performances that will keep fans satisfied, keep my interest up."



On YouTube, Kylie and VERBAL state, "We extend our heartfelt sympathy and condolences to all who have been affect ed by the Tohoku Earthquake and Tsunami, and we truly hope for the recovery as soon as possible. Let's all help rebuild the country together!! This collaboration single "We Are One" was especially written deep from our hearts thinking about everyone in the Tohoku regions. We'd strongly like to continue supporting for the future of Japan."

Link to donate: JAPAN UNICEF

I've Finally Come To Grips With Shayne Ward And Joe McElderry Being Dropped

How depressing that 2009 X Factor winner Joe McElderry put out a fairly rad (if not a little heavy on covers) solo album this past fall and has already been dropped by Simon Cowell's Syco label. Equally depressing: 2005 X Factor winner Shayne Ward put out a surprisingly-defining sophomore album in 2007, though — let's face it — only slightly listenable third LP in November and, like little Joe, has been dumped by Cowell.

(Let's all cheer ourselves up by looking at this completely naked pic of Shayne, shall we?)

A interesting read in the Daily Mail about both out-on-their-ear lads and the way the Syco machine supposedly works was posted on Saturday.

The gist of it: "It almost doesn’t matter if one act fails to sell records, because there is going to be another television show with a raft of new acts to sign. Simon Cowell and his record label are harsh. But that’s showbiz."

At any rate Shayne tweeted the following over the past week: 

"To all my Fans I am great! Remember Business is business! 1 door closed, A Thousand more will open. :-)"

"I'm looking forward to what lies ahead over summer! Exciting times. Fix up look sharp.- #newchapter"

Good for him. With abs pecs an ass positivity like that, he'll land on his feet. Though, if he landed on his back in bed on the set of some porn production in the meantime, well...

UK Chart Roundup: Beyonce's "Run The World (Girls)" Is A Disastrous Flop

Beyonce's return with new material is off to a disastrous, Christina Aguilera/"Not Myself Tonight"-esque start. Indeed, House Of Dereon's Main Wig's single "Run The World (Girls)" has decidedly landed with a loud thud akin to a drunk hooker falling into a decrepit chicken coop and sending feathers in the air.

The wreck of a song flopped out of the iTunes Top 10 here in the U.S. a mere two days after its release, and now the single has limped into the UK chart at #18. Time will tell whether or not "Run The World" has any legs—but my guess is that some trash ballad or more mainstream pop jam will be rushed out ASAP (a la the tactic used when it became apparent from the get-go that Xtina's Bionic was going to tank harder than the Titanic last year), and Camp Beyonce will try to pretend that this flimsy dud never happened.

Elsewhere, 23 years after first peaking at #5 across the pond, Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" appears on the chart at #4 following Michael Collings' audition on Britain's Got Talent.



Is this gonna be some thing where the show's producers try to market this guy as another Susan Boyle? Because he doesn't have even a quarter of SuBo's sex appeal.

Over on the UK album chart, Adele's 21 returns to the top, after its initial 11-week run at #1 was interrupted last week by Foo Fighters.

The UK Top 10:

1. "Party Rock Anthem" - LMFAO *2 weeks*
2. "Unorthadox" - Wretch 32 feat. Example *new*
3. "On The Floor" - Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull
4. "Fast Car" - Tracy Chapman *new*
5. "Beautiful People" - Chris Brown feat. Benny Benassi
6. "Sweat" - Snoop Dogg
7. "E.T." - Katy Perry feat. Kanye West
8. "Just Can't Get Enough" - The Black Eyed Peas
9. "Judas'" - Lady Gaga
10. "Buzzin'" - Mann feat. 50 Cent

The Holy Ghost! Album Is Pretty Good

I had been interested in checking out Holy Ghost!'s eponymous debut album (out on James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem's DFA label) for a few minutes now, and after seeing the NYC duo open for Cut Copy (they're expanded to a quartet while on the road) this past week, I finally took the plunge and downloaded it for $7.99 off iTunes.

As a whole, it's pretty good Friday and Saturday night cruising-around-town, retro-leaning Italo disco stuff.

My fave: current single "Wait & See"

The pair opted not to include their 2009 jam "I Will Come Back" on the LP, the video for which is remake of New Order's "Confusion."



But that's okay, because singer Nick Millhiser (top pic, right) is totally bangable.

Defining Pop Goddess "Weird Al" Yankovic Teases 'Alpocalypse' With Sexy New Video

Screw that amateur Beyonce! This trash is out June 21, and I'm downloading it at least seven times (maybe even once legally) for this teaser video alone.



Lady Gaga's camp finally got the wad out of their thongs and allowed "Weird Al" to include "Born This Way" parody "Perform This Way" on Alpocalypse.

U.S. Chart Roundup: Rihanna & Britney Spears Are #1, Kelly Rowland Shows Beyonce How It's Done

Rihanna and Britney Spears scissor their way to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 with the remix of Ri Ri's "S&M" that The Chanting Wig's angelic voice appears on. This gives Ri her 10th chart-topping single in the U.S., and Weaveney her fifth.

Billboard points out that Rihanna achieves the shortest span between a solo artist's first and 10th #1 singles in Hot 100 history—a stretch of four years, 11 months and two weeks that began with "SOS". Meanwhile, The Chanting Wig's  "Till The World Ends" slips from its peak position of #8 to #9.

And then there's Lady Gaga's "Judas," which leaked on Friday (four days ahead of its scheduled release) and debuts at #10 on the strength of 162,000 downloads sold by Sunday. This marks that broad's ninth Top 10 single. It's a shame "Judas" seems like less of an event, because I actually think that once the dust settles on this era for Gaga, it will be regarded as a better song than "Born This Way."


Elsewhere, Jessie J's mediocre Dr. Luke trash "Price Tag" scrapes its way to #24, while her debut LP Who You Are enters the Top 200 album chart at #11. And then there's The Script, whose single "For The First Time" is so boring I'd completely forgotten it existed. But, no—there it is this week at #36.

Destiny's Child's real success story, Kelly Rowland, sees her latest jam "Motivation" debut at #55. This marks her highest placement on the Hot 100 since "Like This" reached the stunning heights of #30 four years ago.

House Of Dereon's Lucky Hack Beyonce should sit her tired wig down and be studying Ms. Kelendria's every move!

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "S&M" - Rihanna feat. Britney Spears *1 week*
2. "E.T." - Katy Perry feat. Kanye West
3. "Just Can't Get Enough" - The Black Eyed Peas
4. "Down On Me" - Jeremih feat. 50 Cent
5. "Fuck You" - Cee Lo Green
6. "Rolling In The Deep" - Adele
7. "Look At Me Now" - Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes
8. "On The Floor" - Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull
9. "Till The World Ends" - Britney Spears
10. "Judas" - Lady Gaga *new*

Beyonce Fails Again With "Run The World (Girls)" Single Cover And Teaser Video

House Of Dereon's Main Wig has unveiled her "Run The World (Girls)" single cover art, and apparently this is a theme for cheap hookers in dim lighting wearing basement knockoff couture and dollar store weaves.

In the ridiculous trailer for the single, House Of Dereon's Main Wig straddles a big white horse like a pro, while some stock footage of some boring nature shit is edited in. Gays, this is where you're supposed to implode into a cloud of sparkle dust.



In a press release issued this afternoon, it was noted that “Run The World (Girls)” was produced by Switch with additional production by House Of Dereon's Main Wig (yeah, right) and Shea Taylor. The song was written by Terius Nash (The Dream) and House Of Dereon's Main Wig (suuuuuuure).

NEXT.

"Weird Al" Yankovic Goofs On Lady Gaga's "Born This Way"

Lady Gaga is on the cover of the new issue of NME, where she's cupping one of her jugs and unzipping her kid spitter. Class. She also says hotness like this in the accompanying interview:

“Let me tell you something. If you fucking rip my hairbow and my wig off my fucking head, my shoes, my bra, every single thing on my body, and you throw me on a piano with a microphone, I will fucking make you cry."

She said "wig." Gaga has also found her #1 hit "Born This Way" parodied by music goofball "Weird Al" Yankcovic. To be honest, his version is one of his weaker attempts, though I do like this part:

Don't be offended when you see
My latest pop monstrosity
I'm strange, weird, odd, shocking and bizarre
I'm Frankenstein, I'm Avatar



"Weird Al" apparently has a bee in his panties over some drama about LG not letting him release "Perform This Way," and he wrote a whole blog post about it called "The Gaga Saga."' Meanwhile, TMZ is reporting that Gaga hasn't even heard "Perform This Way" yet, and therefore hasn't rejected the song being released.

Jesus, some people have real fucking problems.

Beyonce Aims Low With Ultra Boring "Girls (Who Run The World)"

Not quite sure who's been lying to Beyonce's ass while she's been recording tracks for her upcoming album, but she needs to fire their weaves pronto.

The new single from House Of Deron's Main Wig, called "Girls (Who Run The World)," has surfaced online this evening, and it's more like "Girl, Wake Me Up When You Move On From 2003, Cuz This Shit is TIRED." And I don't care if it samples Major Lazer. It still sucks.



Sorry, baby, but Heidi Montag moaned more exciting trash on Superficial just by showing up to the studio hung over, standing in front of a mic for 13 minutes and sitting on a popsicle. 

Christina Aguilera Is A Free Woman

Awww, remember the good old days of Xtina and Jordan Bratman's touching, monumental relationship? Weren't they just like the Liz Taylor and Richard Burton of our times? Yeah, right.

Their classy marriage finally came to an end just before the weekend, as their divorce was finalized. Now Christina is free to boink that Matthew Rutler guy all she wants (not that being married was actually stopping her). Or she can just scissor Linda Perry till the cows come home.

And who knows—maybe she'll even record a good album for once? At this point her fans will just have to settle for watching her on The Voice, which starts next week and is either going to be the biggest snoozefest or lamest rip-off on TV. I'm guessing a little bit of both.

If and when that tanks, it's next stop: Xtina's shower cam site.

Hurts & Suede At Coachella

Two reasons I'm ticked off about missing Coachella this year: Hurts and Suede, who performed at the California desert fest on Friday and Saturday, respectively. Oh, well—I've actually missed Coachella every year, come to think of it.

Idolator has a full gallery of pics of Hurts' performance up. (Anyone see any actual video around?)

And here's Suede doing "The Drowners" off their debut album. Shame about the guy with the camera singing along.

UK Chart Roundup: "Judas" Is Lady Gaga's Virtue

Following the rush release of Lady Gaga's "Judas" to iTunes on Friday, the song has crashed the UK chart at #14 today. Curiously, while the Catholic church-condemned dance jam has been dominating the U.S. iTunes store, it's only at #4 in the UK, the country the previously found Gaga topping the main singles chart four times. Even "Born This Way," which pretty much hit #1 around the globe, only managed to peak at #3 there. Are the Brits losing interest in the Lady already?

The top download on UK iTunes—and the new #1 single on the UK chart—is "Party Rock Anthem," from Gaga's low-brow Cherrytree/Interscope labelmates LMFAO.



Of course, "Party Rock Anthem" is kind of a jam. If anything, its interesting to just sit back for a minute and process just how swiftly popular music has shifted from R&B to dance-pop in sound over the past three years. (Granted, "Party Rock Anthem" has yet to even dent the Billboard Hot 100.)

 Over on the UK album chart, Adele's 11-week reign at the top with 21 is finally ended by Foo Fighters' Wasting Light.

The UK Top 10:

1. "Party Rock Anthem" - LMFAO *1 week*
2. "On The Floor" - Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull
3. "E.T." - Katy Perry feat. Kanye West
4. "Sweat" - Snoop Dogg
5. "Just Can't Get Enough" - The Black Eyed Peas
6. "Someone Like You" - Adele
7. "S&M" - Rihanna
8. "Beautiful People" - Chris Brown feat. Benny Benassi
9. "Buzzin'" - Mann feat. 50 Cent
10. "Don't Hold Your Breath" - Nicole Scherzinger

Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' Album Cover Has Some Nice Flesh Tone

Well, since "Judas" leaked yesterday, was subsequently rushed onto iTunes four days early by Interscope and is now the top download at the digital store, Lady Gaga decided to throw her Born This Way album cover online, to boot. It was designed by her "Born This Way" video director Nick Knight and Haus Of Gaga.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and be one of these people who claims Gaga steals ideas left and right from other artists...but do you think she was all, "Well, since nobody bought Kelis' last album..."

Full-time tweeter XOLondon tried to tell me it all started with David Bowie's Diamond Dogs album cover. But I'm choosing to believe that Gaga was all, "No, bitch—this is how you do it," after seeing Kelis' Flesh Tone art. Hell, Gaga was probably saying it to Kelis and David Bowie.

Anyway, even thought "Judas" will have only been on sale for two-and-a-half days before chart data is added up, Billboard is projecting that the single could sell between 350,000 and 400,000 downloads before Sunday night's cut-off, thus making it a contender for next week's #1 single on the Hot 100.

Even thought that trash is basically a "Bad Romance" retread, it's kinda growing on me. Kinda...

It's Lady Gaga's New Single "Judas"

Lady Gaga's second Born This Way single has surfaced online a little earlier than its Tuesday (April 19) premiere date, albeit in super low quality form.

It's very metal meets dance-pop, and the melody of the chorus lifts heavily from Gaga's own smash "Bad Romance." UPDATE: the full version was, of course, yanked down. Let's see how long this shorter clip lasts.



Meanwhile, is anyone else getting a Bananarama "Look On The Floor (Hypnotic Tango)" vibe from this?

U.S. Chart Roundup: Britney Spears Weaves Back Into The Top 10

After previously reaching #9 on the Billboard Hot 100 then falling down the chart a bit, The Chanting Wig's second Femme Fatale single "Till The World Ends" gets a major boost following its music video premiere, and hops from #13 to #8.

To date, The Chanting Wig has never had a single peak at #8 on the Hot 100, so we'll just have to wait and see if "Till The World Ends" becomes the first. For this week at least, her appearance on a new remix of Rihanna's current #2 single "S&M" seems to be stealing all the thunder.

The Chanting Wig should just be thankful that "Till The World Ends" is actually climbing the chart, as opposed to "Hold It Against Me," which debuted at #1 then steadily plummeted after a lone week on top.

Over on the Top 200, Rolling Stone cover girl Adele returns to #1 with 21 for a fourth non-consecutive week as it becomes the first album to sell one million copies this year.  This pushes The Chanting Wig's Femme Fatale down to #2.

Other than that, it's a fairly lackluster week. So my wig is off to chant in the shower.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "E.T." - Katy Perry feat. Kanye West *3 weeks*
2. "S&M" - Rihanna
3. "Just Can't Get Enough" - The Black Eyed Peas
4. "Fuck You" - Cee Lo Green
5. "Born This Way" - Lady Gaga
6. "Down On Me" - Jeremih feat. 50 Cent
7. "Look At Me Now" - Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes
8. "Till The World Ends" - Britney Spears
9. "On The Floor" - Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull
10. "Rolling In The Deep" - Adele

Adele Covers 'Rolling Stone,' Leaves Her Tits And Ass Wrapped Up

Not to be outdone by Lady Gaga's hot quote about her vagina clenching and spitting out Hollywood or whatever the hell she said in Harper's Bazaar, Adele graces the cover of the upcoming issue of Rolling Stone and gives the music mag some sassy anecdotes of her own.

"My life is full of drama and I won't have time to worry about something as petty as what I look like. I don't like going to the gym. I like eating fine foods and drinking nice wine. Even if I had a really good figure, I don't think I'd get my tits and ass out for no one."

Me, I get them out for anyone with at least three limbs and a fiver.

Lady Gaga & Her Vagina Do 'Harper's Bazaar'

Lady Gaga hops from Vogue to Harper's Bazaar, and makes some classy assertions in the process. By far, the hottest quote from the upcoming "Hot Fashion Issue":

“I had all these number-one records, and I had sold all these albums, and it was sort of this turning point: Am I going to try and embrace Hollywood and assimilate to that culture? I put my toe in that water, and it was a Kegel-exercise vaginal reaction where I clenched and had to retract immediately. I ran furiously back to New York, to my old apartment, and I hung out with my friends, and I went to the same bars.”

Odd, I felt the same thing when I heard Beyonce was putting out a new record.

Pet Shop Boys' "Together" Single Finally Getting U.S. Release Tomorrow

After stirring things up a bit last October by posing the question "Is Pet Shop Boys New Single 'Together' Their Most Disturbing Song Yet?" then writing up A Different Point Of View: The 19 Most Essential Pet Shop Boys Non-Singles, I admit I became a bad PSB stan who never even commented on their Most Incredible Thing score, which was released last month.

Anyway, "Together," which was initially included on the overseas hits collection Ultimate, will be on U.S. iTunes tomorrow, and includes the following:

Digital One-track Video

One-track digital single:
Together (Ultimate Mix) (3:29)

Two-track digital single:
Together (Radio mix) (3:29)
West End Girls (Grum Remix) (5:32)

Three-track digital single:
Together (Pepptalk Mix) (6:43)
Together (Ultrabeat Remix) (3:38)
West End Girls (Grum Dub Mix) (5:31)

Four-track digital single:
Together (Ultimate Mix) (3:29)
Together (Extended Mix) (6:53)
Glad All Over (3:24)
I Cried For Us (3:46)

In my opinion, the most bang for your buck is the awesome video. But here's the previously-unreleased Pepptalk Mix...

I'll Say This One Thing About Rihanna & Britney Spears' "S&M" Remix...

While Britney Spears mostly sounds like an over-processed robot getting a jumper cable clamped to its vajazzle basket and shocked with 200 volts of Whore on Femme Fatale, vocally, she actually chirps through Rihanna's new "S&M" remix sounding like her old 5-year-old-with-a-runny-nose self for the most part.

Not sure if The Chanting Wig has ever truly featured on another artist's track (?), but this is the next good step for Operation: Britney Redemption, following the "Till The World Ends" video.



Makes me wanna stop typing for seven seconds and vibe to Duchovny.

U.K. Singles Chart: Jennifer Lopez's See-Through Thong

The UK Top 10:

1. "On The Floor" - Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull *2 weeks*
2. "Party Rock Anthem" - LMFAO
3. "Someone Like You" - Adele
4. "Just Can't Get Enough" - The Black Eyed Peas
5. "E.T." - Katy Perry feat. Kanye West
6. "Buzzin'" - Mann feat. 50 Cent
7. "Don't Hold Your Breath" - Nicole Scherzinger
8. "Black And Yellow" - Wiz Khalifa
9. "Sweat" - Snoop Dogg
10. "Price Tag" - Jessie J feat. B.o.B

Avril Lavigne Lines Up Another Max Martin Song For Her Next Single

Avril Lavigne's lead Goodbye Lullaby single "What The Hell" failed to crack the Top 10 on the Hot 100—and it got so close, scraping its way to #11 like a one-legged whore reaching for a nickel with her toes—but at least the song has sold steadily since its January release.

But now that the album has been out for over four weeks, it's time for another single. Two weeks ago on Twitter, Avril asked her flock of Gucci-punk worshipers if they preferred "Smile" or "Push" for her second release off Goodbye Lullaby. And according to Digital Spy, it looks like "Smile" won out.

In case you're not quite sick of Max Martin's Katy Perry, Britney Spears and Pink songs currently dominating the world right now, here's his Shellback co-production "Smile":

U.S. Chart Roundup: Katy Perry And Britney Spears Are On Top

Katy Perry's "E.T." now has a second week on top of the Billboard Hot 100, thus giving her four consecutive singles that have spent at least two or more weeks at #1. (Songs that have spent a lone week on top of the chart over the past year include Wiz Khalifa's "Black And Yellow," Britney Spears' "Hold It Against Me," Rihanna's "Only Girl (In The World)," Pink's "Raise Your Glass," Ke$ha's "We R Who We R" and Eminem's "Not Afraid.")

Further down, Adele's "Rolling In The Deep" climbs to #10 and marks not only her first U.S. Top 10 hit single, but the first song by a UK artist to crack the Top 10 in 2011.

That brings us to the other big news of the week, which is Britney's Femme Fatale debuting at #1 on the Top 200 album chart. It's her sixth album to reach the top, but at 276,000 copies moved, it's also her lowest first-week showing since her debut ...Baby One More Time sold 121,000 out of the gate in 1999.

Still, at 29, The Weave Warrior is the youngest artist to have six #1 albums spanning across three decades. Back on the Hot 100, "Till The World Ends" climbs from #22 to #13 in its fifth week on the chart while "I Wanna Go" debuts at #73. This seems like a special enough occasion for her to pull out the pink wig from her shaved head period, no? God, I really miss that thing...

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "E.T." - Katy Perry feat. Kanye West *2 weeks*
2. "S&M" - Rihanna
3. "Just Can't Get Enough" - The Black Eyed Peas
4. "Fuck You" - Cee Lo Green
5. "Born This Way" - Lady Gaga
6. "Look At Me Now" - Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes
7. "Down On Me" - Jeremih feat. 50 Cent
8. "On The Floor" - Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull
9. "Fuckin' Perfect" - Pink
10. "Rolling In The Deep" - Adele

It's Britney Spears' "Till The World Ends" Video

I will say this for Britney Spears' music video for "Till The World Ends"—it seems as if her camp took notes from the hefty amount of criticism lobbed on her last vid, "Hold It Against Me," and decided this one—directed by Ray Kay—ought to have a more straight-forward plot.

So basically it's The Wig Warrior with a bunch of grungy young things, dancing till...well, you know. Brit actually looks like she's having fun in this one.

This, by far, is my favorite shot:

She's lucky a steamroller didn't come along and flatten her weave.

Here's the vid.

Kylie Minogue's Plans, Post-Les Folies Tour

I took part in a teleconference with Kylie Minogue yesterday, and got a few questions in to her regarding the one-week stage show she wants to do after her Les Folies world tour wraps up. (She first mentioned this when I interviewed her for Instinct last spring.)

You can read what she had to say over at Idolator.

More Smoke-And-Mirrors Dancing From Britney Spears In Her "Till The World Ends" Video Preview

If you caught last night's MTV special I Am The Femme Fatale, you saw footage of Britney Spears shooting her upcoming video for "Till The World Ends." Alas, given her recent performances at Rain in Vegas and on Good Morning America—not to mention her "Hold It Against Me" video—we know that the Wigney who was once a commanding force on the dance floor is now more like a naughty child who is occasionally tasered and forced to jiggle around for the cameras.

At any rate, here's 30 seconds of the "Till The World Ends" video (full thing premieres on Wednesday):

I Don't Care Why Pet Shop Boys Are Opening For Take That On Tour, All I Know Is I'm Going

Today it was announced that Pet Shop Boys will be joining Take That on Their European tour. Yes, as an opening act. The same Pet Shop Boys who are noted to have sold over 100 million records worldwide (according to Wikipedia, though this says 50 million), while TT have sold around 40 million.

Were Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe enlisted by the That to babysit their friend Robbie Williams, to make sure he doesn't get into any trouble on the road for the first time in 16 years with his old bandmates? Have the Boys become addicted to a life spent in hotels around the world (they toured their last record Yes forever, it seemed)? Did their pal Stuart Price, who produced the That's latest album Progress, convince them it'd be a good idea?

Says Take That's website:

...Take That are all massive fans. Gary said: "I've followed their whole career and always loved their unique approach to records and live performance. That combined with two lovely people means we're in for a great tour."

Pet Shop Boys said: "We are delighted to accept Take That's invitation to be part of their Progress show and tour which is undoubtedly going to be one of the most exciting events of 2011. We look forward to every night being a huge celebration of pop music."

Truth is, I don't care why they're doing it. All I know is my tickets to the Milan show in July just got a whole lot more fetching.

U.K. Singles Chart: Britney Spears Tanks With 'Femme Fatale'

Let's forget the fact the Jennifer Lopez's "On The Floor" has debuted at #1 in the UK, thus giving the American Idol judge her first chart-topper across the pond in six years—because Britney Spears' Femme Fatale has completely flopped in its first week on the chart in Old Blighty.

Wigney's seventh studio album bombed its way in #8 in the UK. Even Christina Aguilera's massive flopzilla of an album Bionic debuted at #1 there last year. And it's really not that surprising, given that Femme Fatale's lead singles "Hold It Against Me" and "Till The World Ends" charted at a disappointing #6 and #21, respectively.

Meanwhile, Adele has racked up a 10th week at the top of the chart in her home country with 21, giving her the longest stretch at #1 in the UK since Dire Straits achieved the same feat in 1986 with Brothers In Arms.

Oh, well. At least Britney can be happy that her album is #1 in Australia—a first for her.

The UK Top 10:

1. "On The Floor" - Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull *new* *1 week*
2. "Someone Like You" - Adele
3. "Party Rock Anthem" - LMFAO
4. "Just Can't Get Enough" - The Black Eyed Peas
5. "Don't Hold Your Breath" - Nicole Scherzinger
6. "Black And Yellow" - Wiz Khalifa
7. "Price Tag" - Jessie J feat. B.o.B
8. "Broken Record" - Katy B *new*
9. "S&M (Come On)" - Rihanna
10. "I Need A Doctor" - Dr. Dre feat. Eminem & Skylar Grey

Hell Has Frozen Over: Britney Spears And Christina Aguilera Announce Co-Headlining Tour

Earlier this week, things were looking pretty shaky for Britney Spears' upcoming summer tour once Enrique Iglesias bailed on the supposed co-headlining trek hours after Brit announced the gigs on Good Morning America. And since then, everyone from Usher to Nicki Minaj has been mentioned as possible replacements on the joint venture. (Though I'm still perplexed as to why Britney needs to share a bill with anyone. Didn't this broad break the bank with her last tour?)

Thankfully for Spears diehards, the Femme Fatale ended the suspense (and pretty pretty much caused a collective "Huh?!") when she tweeted that her onetime rival in all things pop, Christina Aguilera, will be joining her on the road from June through August:

"I'm so happy to reveal my secret to all of you all that my OLD friend @theRealXtina and I are going on tour together this summer. 2 bionic women, 2 femme fatales! xo - Brit"

I actually had to read that four times to believe it.

Until the concerts kick off in mid-June, Xtina will be slumming fulfilling her judging duties alongside Cee Lo Green, Adam Levine and Blake Shelton on upcoming NBC reality music competition The Voice, which debuts in April.

Meanwhile, can you imagine the fiery, dueling tour riders these two broads will have? Like, what happens when Britney's dumptruck full of Cheetos and Xtina's classy catering truck show up backstage at the same time, and cause a traffic jam while crew is trying to unload lighting rigs?

But forget that for a minute—what songs will Aguilera be performing? Will she be doing tracks off Bionic, which, at this point, was released nearly a year ago? Will it be a greatest hits-type show?  WHAT IS GOING ON?

I guess the most important thing to remember is...Happy April Fool's Day.