dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

US Chart Roundup: Miley Cyrus Lands First #1 Single With "Chain Between My Snatch"!

It's a relatively slow week on the Hot 100, save for the fact that MILEY CYRUS NOW HAS HER FIRST #1 SINGLE. And, Jesus – thank god she achieved it with "Chain Between My Snatch."

"Chain Between My Snatch" does one better than Miley's previous high-charting singles "Party In The U.S.A." (2009) and "Don't Tell Coke Whore What To Do" (2013), which each made it to #2.

Miley can now tell her dad to go fuck off, because Billy Ray certainly never achieved having a #1 single on the Hot 100. So he should just be happy and hope that at least the scraps of the "Chain Between My Snatch" royalties go toward his old-age home rent in about 30 years.

Well, unless Miley blows through the cash in like two years, which — let's face it — is probably a strong possibility. Actually, I just looked up the "Chain Between My Snatch" credits, and Miley didn't write it.

Best unstraddle that chain, gurl, and wrap it around your agent's neck.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Wrecking Ball" - Miley Cyrus *1 week*
2. "Roar" - Katy Perry
3. "Royals" - Lorde
4. "Blurred Lines" - Robin Thicke feat. T.I. & Pharrell
5. "Wake Me Up!" - Avicii
6. "Holy Grail" - Jay-Z feat. Justin Timberlake
7. "Applause" - Lady Gaga
8. "Berzerk" - Eminem
9. "Hold On, We're Going Home" - Drake feat. Majid Jordan
10. "Summertime Sadness" - Lana Del Rey & Cedric Gervais

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  • At 12:24 PM, Blogger wpmsd said…

    I'm not a big fan of the whole naked ball and chain PR thing. Nevertheless, Miley is a good singer and feel she deserves a #1, even if her PR machine was grinding gears to get it.

    Think about it- her first #2 song (Party...) peaked behind the best selling song of the 00s. Her 2nd #2 song (We Can't Stop) peaked behind what is shaping up to be possibly the biggest hit of this fledgling decade (airplay record, scorching sales.)

    I still think Let's Dance is her best song, but all the ball & Chain combos must have been rented back then, so she never released it as a single.

  • At 11:34 AM, Anonymous shaun said…

    Huh huh, you said "grinding gears"...huh huh ;o)

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